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📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

Develop the vocabulary of a big thinker

by Dean Bokhari

For today’s column, I’m repurposing an installment of a recent challenge I put on for my personal development publication on Substack, which is called, Club 12. This one’s all about how the words you use can shape your brain—for better or for worse. Enjoy. (Note: If you’d like to see the video version of this article, you can check it out here.)

What would happen if I took a small needle and casually tossed it in your direction? It would bounce off your chest and fall to the floor and you probably wouldn’t feel a thing.

Now, what would happen if I took that same needle, positioned it over your heart, and nailed it against your chest with a hammer?

That needle would pierce right through your chest.

That’s what words can do when you wield them with intention, with emotion, and with purpose.

The words you use can shape your mental strength.

“Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?” — Jalāl al-Dīn Muḥammad Rumi

I’d add one more “gate” to that Rumi quote above: Is it helpful?

Choose your words wisely.

Because the words you use on a consistent basis can quite literally change the shape your brain¹ — either strengthening your mentality, or making it weaker.

They way you wield your words can also have an influence on your happiness, your relationships, and your finances—or lack thereof.

If you want to develop a strong, success-oriented mindset, it’s worth it to be mindful of the language you’re using — both in your head as well as in your conversations.

People who’ve conditioned themselves to become mentally strong speak an entirely different language than the majority of people do…

They use optimistic, growth-focused language with possibility-driven words.

Bottom line:

• Small thinkers use language that shrink situations.

• Big thinkers use language that expand possibilities.

You and I don’t think in words, we think in visuals, in pictures and images…

For example:

• If I say, “Rumi’s new house is beautiful,” it would paint one picture in your mind.

• If I say, “Rumi’s new house looks like a beachfront resort,” it would paint a completely different picture.

The visuals we see are modified by the words we use to describe things.

Your mind is a canvas. Your mouth is the paintbrush. Your words are the paint.

Be mindful of the colors you choose, so you can paint something magnificent.

Here are some phrases that create negative mental visuals vs phrases that create positive mental visuals:

Read more

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📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
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Gettin gritty with it

A man with grit is a man that possesses an indomitable spirit.

He shows courage, mental toughness, and refuses to give up.

In psychology, grit is defined as a powerful combination of passion and perseverance toward long-term goals

So, here’s the big question:

How do you develop grit as a man?

Allow me to break it down for you, my fellow gent.

By the time you’ve finished this first column of the Gents Weekly, you’ll know how to build prime Hugh-Jackman-as-Wolverine-level grit.

Let’s get into it.

In her book, Grit, author Angela Duckworth writes,

“in the simplest terms, this means that some of the variation in grit in the population can be attributed to genetic factors, and the rest can be attributed to experience.”

You may have inherited a touch of grit from mom and dad, or both.

But for the most part, according to researchers, any grit you might be blessed with is negligible in comparison to:

• the experiences you have,

• the failures you experience,

• and the people around you.

But your grit also changes over time – as you grow and adapt to challenges.

It’s also constantly impacted by the culture you’re surrounded by.

There are four traits that gritty men have in common:

1. Interest — Gritty men have an interest and a passion in what they do.

2. Practice — Their deep interest leads to deep practice; the daily discipline of doing things better than we did yesterday.

3. Purpose — A belief in the meaning of the work.

4. Hope — The last trait is hope, the optimistic belief in engaging in every stage regardless of setbacks. You can grow your grit from the inside out.

Here’s how to translate these traits into something you can apply in your day to day life:

INTEREST + PASSION

Spend more time doing things you’re interested in and passionate about. If you can swing it, it’s ideal to spend most of your time doing something you’re deeply interested in. But if that’s not the case for you—if you think your life is boring and uninteresting; if you don’t have anything you’re passionate about, let me let you in on a little secret: passion isn’t found, it’s cultivated. You don’t wake up one day and fucking stumble upon your passion. You’ve got to bring it with you. Passion is a state of mind. And you can infuse everything you do with it.

PRACTICE + DISCIPLINE

Whatever you spend most of your time doing, bring depth to it. Develop the discipline to get a little bit better each day… As a father and husband. As a son or student. At work and at home.

PURPOSE + MEANING

Become a more purposeful man. I decided a long time ago not to do anything that doesn’t align with my purpose, which is: to inspire and empower as many people as I possibly can to achieve their goals and improve their lives. That’s my purpose, my WHY, or whatever else you want to call it. Your purpose is something that lights you up — it’s the mission or a cause you care about most. It’s something you find especially meaningful. If you aren’t clear about yours, clarify it now.

HOPE + OPTIMISM

Lastly, grit requires optimism. If you’re not hopeful about your future, it’ll be hard to move through life—especially as a man. And guess what? Becoming hopeful and optimistic is a choice. Plain and simple. If you want to become a happier, healthier, more optimistic man, then CHOOSE to be. Right here. Right now. Today, tomorrow, and always.

Stay gritty gents,

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

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📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: GRIT

Talent gets you started. GRIT gets you finished.

Everyone starts with big dreams and motivation. The gym on January 1st. The business idea on Sunday night. The project you swore you’d finish this time.

But motivation fades. Talent hits a ceiling. Life gets hard.

And that’s when most people quit.

GRIT is what separates the ones who finish from the ones who just talk about it.

This prompt helps you figure out where you’re quitting when things get hard—and how to build the grit to push through anyway.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I want to build real GRIT—not just motivation, but the ability to keep going when it gets hard, boring, or painful. Help me figure out where I'm quitting and how to push through.

Help me:

1. Identify where I quit when things get hard
   - What have I started but never finished?
   - What goal have I set multiple times but never followed through on?
   - Where do I give up when it stops being fun or easy?
   - What's the pattern? (Do I quit when I hit a plateau? When I'm tired? When no one's watching?)

2. Figure out what I need GRIT for right now
   - What's the ONE thing I'm working on that I keep wanting to quit?
   - Why does it matter? What happens if I quit? What happens if I finish?
   - What's hard about it right now? (Be specific—not "it's hard," but what exactly is making me want to quit?)

3. Understand the difference between motivation and GRIT
   - When am I relying on motivation (which fades) vs. systems (which don't)?
   - What do I do on the days when I don't feel like doing it?
   - How do I show up when no one's watching, no one's cheering, and no one cares?

4. Build a GRIT system (How to keep going when I want to quit)
   - What's my daily non-negotiable? (The ONE thing I do every day no matter what)
   - What's my "minimum viable effort" on bad days? (What's the smallest version of showing up?)
   - How do I track progress so I can see I'm moving forward even when it feels slow?
   - Who's my accountability partner? (Someone who won't let me quit)
   - What's my reminder for WHY I'm doing this when it gets hard?

5. Prepare for the moments I want to quit
   - What excuses do I make when I want to quit? (Write them down now)
   - What's my response to each excuse? (Pre-decide so I don't rationalize quitting)
   - What do I tell myself on the days I don't want to show up?
   - What's my "fuck it, let's go" moment when quitting feels easier?

Here's what I'm working on right now: [Describe the goal/project/habit]

Here's where I keep quitting: [Be honest about the pattern]

Here's why it matters: [Why can't I quit this time?]

Don't let me make excuses. Build me a system to keep going when talent quits.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to force you to face where you quit and why. It’s going to help you build a system so you show up even when you don’t feel like it.

By the end, you’ll have:

• A clear picture of where you quit and why

• A system to keep going when motivation fades

• A daily non-negotiable action

• Pre-written responses to your own excuses

• Accountability built in

WHY THIS MATTERS

Talent gets you started. GRIT gets you finished.

Most guys have talent. Most guys have good ideas. Most guys start strong.

But when it gets hard, boring, or painful? When no one’s watching? When the progress slows down?

That’s when talent quits. And GRIT takes over.

The question isn’t whether you’re talented. It’s whether you have the grit to finish what you started.

Drop one thing you’re committing to finishing no matter what. Let’s see who has the grit to follow through.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
GRIT: When Talent Quits

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

Watch | Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

In the TED Talk above, psychologist Angela Duckworth shares a powerful insight: success is not determined by talent or IQ alone — it’s driven by GRIT.

The people who succeed are often the ones who keep showing up.

The cadet who doesn’t quit.
The student who keeps studying.
The entrepreneur who keeps building after rejection.

GRIT is passion and perseverance for long-term goals. It’s the ability to keep moving forward when things get hard, uncomfortable, or uncertain.

Because life isn’t a sprint. It’s a marathon. Like Nemo said, “Just keep swimming.”

Survival Mode vs. Intentional Living

When I was laid off from my first job at Motorola as an engineer, I made a decision that confused a lot of people: I pursued acting.

For more than 10 years, I struggled.

I eventually made it to Los Angeles with around $100 in my bank account, living in a 300-square-foot half-studio apartment where rent was my biggest nemesis. I worked odd jobs. Auditioned constantly and heard “no” more times than I could count.

But I refused to stop. As Angela shared above, I just kept showing up.

I had goals I wanted to achieve, and I literally wrote them on my walls.

Because I believed if I wrote them down and worked toward them relentlessly, God, the universe, or whatever force you believe in would begin conspiring to help make them happen.

And slowly, one by one, they did.

This past year, 15 years later, I checked off the final goal on that wall and sold a TV show based on my true crime podcast, Wolves Among Us — the story of a drug-dealing dentist from Philadelphia — starring Colin Jost.

That dream once lived on a wall, and I never stopped pursuing it because I learned to see every rejection not as a “no,” but simply as a “not yet.”

Here’s a question from our Journey Deck for you to comment on:
What has failure taught you?

The Power of GRIT: Gratitude, Resilience, Integrity & Trust

Hopefully, you’ve realized by now that failure doesn’t really exist. It’s just another step toward building your future and strengthening your story.

That’s why I like to think of GRIT as:

Gratitude
Resilience
Integrity
Trust

When you move through life with GRIT — trusting that everything happens for a reason — you eventually land exactly where you’re supposed to be.

I bet you’ve had GRIT recently, too.

Maybe in your marriage.
At work.
Through heartbreak.
Through loss.
Through rebuilding your life when you didn’t think you could.

But you kept going.

And that matters.

Drop a comment below about a moment where you didn’t think you’d make it through — but did anyway through GRIT and determination.

And I’ll leave you with this: as a Philly guy, we’re known for being underdogs with perseverance. So maybe it’s no coincidence our wild and steadfast Flyers mascot is named Gritty.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

• Honor the Fallen Soldiers in your Life with a Flag Holder

• Master the Morning by Dean Bokhari

• Pre-Order 52 Conversation Card Deck by Journey Deck

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

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Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

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📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

How to build a healthy morning routine

A healthy morning routine has four core components: (1) physical, (2) mental, (3) emotional, and (4) spiritual. These are the four sources of energy that each of us is born with.

Think of these four core components as wheels on a car:

When all four wheels are in good shape, the tires are evenly inflated, and all have good tread depth – the car runs like a dream.

But if you catch a flat or let your tires go bald – you’ll be in for a bumpy ride.

That’s how I like to look at life:

If I want to thrive, I’ve got to ensure I’m taking care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

If I neglect just one of these four core sources of energy, I won’t be able to perform at my peak consistently.

And for me, that would be unacceptable.

So, I developed a healthy morning ritual that helps me grow (or maintain) in each of the four dimensions.

Here’s what it looks like:

1. The Physical Component

Unleash your physical energy—nourish and activate your body to prime it for a successful day.

Examples to help you create a healthy morning routine:

• Drink a liter of water immediately upon rising

• Walk outside

• Exercise

• Jump up and down to wake your body up

2. The Mental Component

It’s just as important to exercise your brain as it is to exercise your body. Learn something new or do at least one thing each morning to sharpen your mind.

Examples to help you create a healthy morning routine:

• Read

• Work on a puzzle for a few minutes

• Do something that challenges you to stretch your mind

3. The Emotional Component

This is about addressing your emotional and social needs by checking in with yourself and connecting with people you care about.

Examples to help you create a healthy morning routine:

• Start your day by asking yourself, “How do I want to feel today?” Then answer the question in your mind, or journal it on paper.

• Envision a successful day ahead. How would you like to feel today? What kind of emotional energy do you want to bring to your work, to the people you interact with? Imagine every outcome you have planned for the day as working in your favor.

• Connect with someone you care about.

4. The Spiritual Component

Unleash your spiritual energy by doing something that allows you to reconnect to your purpose, your faith, or your Why.

Examples to help you create a healthy morning routine:

• Meditation

• Prayer

• Think of three specific things or people in your life that you’re grateful for — and truly allow yourself to feel it. To cultivate a sense of intense gratitude is a powerful spiritual experience.

Create Your Own Healthy Morning Routine

Use my PIESpread framework to create a healthy morning routine of your own.

• PQ: Physical energy—What’s one thing you can do each morning to activate your physical energy?

• IQ: Mental energy—What’s one thing you can do each morning to activate your mental energy?

• EQ: Emotional energy—What’s one thing you can do each morning to activate your emotional energy?

• SQ: Spiritual energy—What’s one thing you can do each morning to activate your spiritual energy?

P.I.E.S.

☝️ Use this acronym to remind yourself of each of the four core sources of energy you need to rise and thrive—each and every day.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

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📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: Morning Routines

How you start the day determines how you live it.

Most guys don’t have a morning routine. They have a morning scramble.

Hit snooze. Check phone. Scroll. Panic. Rush. Coffee. Out the door. Surviving, not thriving.

And then they wonder why they feel behind all day.

Your morning sets the tone for everything. If you start reactive, you stay reactive. If you start intentional, you stay intentional.

This prompt helps you build a morning routine that actually works—not the Instagram version with 47 steps, but something simple, sustainable, and designed to set you up for success in every area of life.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I want to build a morning routine that sets me up for success—not something complicated, just something that works. Help me figure out what to add, what to subtract, and how to make my mornings actually matter.

Help me:

1. Audit my current morning (Be brutally honest)
   - What does my morning actually look like right now? (Walk me through it minute by minute)
   - When do I wake up? What's the first thing I do?
   - How much time do I waste? (Phone scrolling, hitting snooze, etc.)
   - How do I feel by the time I leave the house? (Rushed? Calm? Stressed? Ready?)
   - Am I setting myself up to win the day, or am I already behind?

2. Identify what I need to SUBTRACT (Cut the bullshit)
   - What's draining my energy in the morning that doesn't serve me?
   - Phone scrolling? Snooze button? Skipping breakfast? Rushing? Chaos?
   - What habits are making my mornings harder instead of easier?
   - What do I need to stop doing immediately?

3. Identify what I need to ADD (Build what matters)
   - What would make me feel strong, focused, and ready for the day?
   - Do I need movement? (Workout, stretch, walk?)
   - Do I need stillness? (Meditation, journaling, quiet time?)
   - Do I need fuel? (Real breakfast, water, coffee ritual?)
   - Do I need planning? (Review my day, set priorities, clear my head?)
   - What ONE thing would change everything if I did it every morning?

4. Design my ideal morning routine (Keep it simple)
   - What time do I need to wake up to make this work?
   - What's my step-by-step routine? (Keep it under 60-90 minutes max)
   - What's non-negotiable? What's flexible?
   - How do I protect this time from distractions, kids, work, chaos?

5. Make it sustainable (Don't let me overcomplicate this)
   - What's realistic for my life right now? (Kids? Work schedule? Partner's routine?)
   - How do I start small and build up instead of trying to do everything at once?
   - What's my "minimum viable morning" on days when shit goes sideways?
   - How do I track this without obsessing?

Here's what my morning looks like right now: [Describe it honestly]

Here's how I want to feel by the time I start my day: [Paint the picture]

Don't let me build something I can't sustain. Make it simple, powerful, and realistic.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you strip down your morning to what actually matters. It’s going to show you what’s wasting your time and what would change everything if you added it.

By the end, you’ll have:

• A clear picture of what’s working and what’s not

• A list of habits to cut immediately

• A list of habits to add that actually move the needle

• A simple, sustainable morning routine (not a 2-hour Instagram fantasy)

• A backup plan for when life gets chaotic

WHY THIS MATTERS

How you start the day determines how you live it.

If you start reactive—phone first, snooze button, scrolling, rushing—you stay reactive all day. You’re behind before you even begin.

But if you start intentional—movement, stillness, fuel, focus—you show up differently. You handle stress differently. You make better decisions. You win more often.

Your morning is the only part of the day you fully control. Everything else? That’s life coming at you.

This prompt helps you take that control back.

Run this prompt. Build your morning. Win the day.

Drop one thing you’re adding or subtracting from your morning this week. Let’s see who shows up stronger.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Mornings Matter

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

Watch | The Optimal Morning Routine by Andrew Huberman

In the video above, Andrew Huberman explains something powerful: your morning routine doesn’t just start your day — it shapes your brain, energy, and focus.

The way you wake up matters.

How quickly you grab your phone, rush out the door, skip movement, or overload your mind with stress all impact how you show up for the rest of the day.

Survival Mode vs. Intentional Living

Which one are you: Gent A or Gent B?

Gent A lives in survival mode.

The alarm sounds, and he immediately jumps out of bed, already behind. He splashes water on his face while brushing his teeth, rushes to wake up the kids, throws on clothes, and watches the clock count down.

Tick. Tock. Tick.

Fifteen minutes and counting … to get out the door.

He runs downstairs and grabs whatever breakfast he can find — maybe a Pop-Tart, maybe nothing at all. Coffee becomes less of a pleasure and more of an emergency, whether from the kitchen or the nearest drive-through.

Before the day even begins, he’s exhausted.

Now he’s reactive. Dragged from one obligation to the next. Constantly putting out fires. Living inside a “busy” schedule he didn’t intentionally create for himself.

But Gent B?

Gent B begins intentionally.

His preparation starts the night before.

His clothes are already laid out. Breakfast is prepped. The coffee pot is filled and ready to brew. His phone is across the room so he has to physically get up instead of endlessly scrolling.

He reviewed his priorities the night before and knows exactly what the most important thing is to tackle first — before decision fatigue has a chance to creep in.

Then he starts his day with purpose.

Maybe it’s a walk. A workout. Stretching. Prayer. Gratitude. Sunlight. Movement that turns into motivation.

Because when you live intentionally, problems stop feeling like attacks and start feeling like opportunities guiding you toward growth.

He looks at the man he’s become in the mirror and says:
“Today is going to be a great day.”

Here’s a question from our Journey Deck: What’s one positive affirmation or mantra that you frequently use and why? Share and comment below.

Start Strong

So which one are you: Gent A or Gent B?

And if you’re closer to Gent A, where can you improve?

Tonight, try one small change: prep tomorrow’s clothes, write down your top priority, or place your phone across the room.

Small habits create momentum.
Momentum creates confidence.
Confidence changes lives.

How you start your morning shapes your growth, because as Robin Sharma says, “Own your morning. Elevate your life.”

Momentum isn’t accidental — it’s intentional. And that choice is yours to make every single day.

Let us know your morning routine, mindset shift, or favorite habit hack in the comments below.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

• Own Your Morning, Elevate Your Life, by Robin Sharma

• Master the Morning by Dean Bokhari

• Pre-Order 52 Conversation Card Deck by Journey Deck

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

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The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
Substack | Apple Podcasts | Spotify

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

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📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

How to create lasting change in life

I took off my shirt and stood in front of the mirror. At 19 years old, I was overweight and out of shape. I was sick of being chubby and soft. I was sick of feeling tired all the time. I was sick of having no confidence.

Truth be told, my whole life was a mess.

And I was sick of it.

I was sick of what I’d let myself become.

The worst part? I had done this to myself.

I, and I alone, was responsible for what I’d let myself become.

I had no one to blame but myself.

As I stood there in front of my mirror and looked at my soft, pudgy body, I felt disgusted with myself. I had man-boobs… man-boobs!

It was a painful feeling.

But something happened for me in that moment, something shifted…

I looked at myself and said out loud, “Enough is ENOUGH! It’s time to change!”

All my emotions welled-up inside me, and I kept yelling, “Enough is enough!”

I was ready to take on the challenge of changing my physical state.

That night, I decided to change.

I knew it would be hard. I knew it would be painful.

But in that moment, I also knew that I could do it.

And eventually, I did.

17 years later, I still remember that moment, because it taught me that I was capable of doing anything—but it was up to me.

Now, whenever I’m faced with challenges, trials and tribulations, rather than complaining about them or allowing the victim-mentality to take hold, I choose to believe this challenge is here to help me become better.

I choose to believe there’s a better version of me on the other side of every challenge I’m forced to deal with.

And once I decide to use my problem as an opportunity to learn what I’m made of—rather than an opportunity to complain and wallow in my own misery—a powerful, two-part shift occurs:

1: The first part of this shift is mental: on the other side of this problem, there’s a better version of me. This first mental shift then leads to shift number two…

2: The second part of this shift is physical, which says: ‘Now that I know this problem/pain/challenge is an opportunity to grow, what are the ACTIONS I need to take to make that growth happen?’

It takes the same amount of energy to stress yourself out thinking about your problems as it does to make a definite decision to DO something about them…

Deciding to fix your problems will move you towards an eventual solution—if you take action.

But thinking about why you don’t have what you want, or wondering why bad things “always” happen to you, will get you nowhere but backward.

Problems are a good thing.
Solving them makes you happy.

Now, here’s the exact 4-step formula for creating lasting changes in any area of your life…

Read more

In this powerful episode, Dean, Stephen, and Matt sit down with Andrew Reiner—author of Better Boys, Better Men—to unpack the complex, often contradictory world of modern masculinity. From the deep-seated fears fathers face when raising sons to the subconscious ways society conditions boys to bury their emotions, this conversation cuts straight to the core of what it means to be a man today.

Andrew shares profound personal stories—from a liberating moment of vulnerability on a cross-country flight to finding a deeper connection in a medium-security prison’s men’s group than he had with friends of decades. The gents also explore the dangerous “gap” between the traditional “man up” mentality and the modern push for hyper-vulnerability, ultimately pointing to a life-changing solution: the necessity of men finding their emotional “safety net.”

If you are a father, a son, or a man trying to navigate your own emotional landscape, this episode is a must-listen.

Key Takeaways & Topics Discussed

• The “Man Up” Paradox: Matt highlights the confusing gap men face today—caught between the outdated “pick yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality and the pressure to wear their hearts on their sleeves.

• The Airplane Epiphany: Andrew shares a defining moment from his twenties when he openly sobbed while reading a sad novel on a flight. Instead of hiding it, he realized that allowing himself to be seen in a state of raw emotion was incredibly liberating.

• Fear of Fatherhood: Andrew opens up about his initial terror upon finding out he was having a son. He discusses the heavy “baggage” of masculinity and the immense pressure of raising a boy intentionally in a culture that often works against male emotional health.

• A Father’s Strength in Vulnerability: Stephen shares a touching story about watching E.T. with his son and breaking down in tears, proving that true strength includes modeling healthy emotional expression for the next generation.

• The Science of Conditioning: Andrew breaks down landmark 2017 research by Dr. Edward Tronick, revealing that fathers and mothers subconsciously treat infant and toddler boys differently than girls—often offering less emotional “succor” and physical comfort to boys when they cry, while showing more positive neurological responses to their daughters’ smiles.

• The “Safety Net” Imperative: Why boys and men so often turn to their female friends or partners for emotional support, fearing judgment from their male peers. Andrew stresses that the most important thing men can do is find a safe space—a men’s group or a “safety net”—where they can be transparent without fear of their “man card” being revoked.

Notable Quotes

“I didn’t almost want people to see me crying because there was something about it that just felt really liberating.” – Andrew Reiner

“Strength is crying... and strength is also being able to chop wood, both metaphorically and literally.” – Stephen Seidel

“I feel closer to these guys in this prison I just met than I do to guys I’ve been friends with for decades... This is revolutionary for a lot of guys, because we don’t think we’ve got permission to do it.” – Andrew Reiner

About Our Guest: Andrew Reiner

Andrew Reiner is an author, researcher, and professor who writes extensively on masculinity and the emotional lives of men and boys.

Learn more + connect:

• Book: Better Boys, Better Men by Andrew Reiner

• Instagram: @andrew.reiner.author

• Email: areiner@towson.edu

Join the Journey

Ready to find your safety net and join the conversation? Gents Journey is the ultimate learning hub and social club for men.

We believe in growth, brotherhood, and becoming the best man you can be.

Visit us at: gentsjourney.co

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

ANNOUNCING

The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
Substack | Apple Podcasts | Spotify

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📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

Mother’s day

Mother's Day is this Sunday, May 10.

Here’s a list of unique gifts for momma dukes and/or the wife.

1. Tell Me Your Life Story, Mom: A Mother’s Guided Journal and Memory Keepsake Book

If you’re looking for a thoughtful way to capture your mother’s life story, this is a great way to do it. The prompts in this journal/book make it easy to fill out. And eventually, it becomes a family keepsake. This is an intentional gift that’ll help her preserve those random and everyday stories that would otherwise get lost and forgotten about.

2. A Recorded Video from Your Kids

One of our co-founders, Stephen, shared this idea in a meeting recently:

Record a video of each of your kids talking about why they love their mom and/or grandma (or have them share three things they’re grateful for about her).

Then, present it or play the video for her on Mother’s Day.

Brownie points if you pair it with breakfast in bed.

3. Jo Malone Candles

Jo Malone makes some of the best damn candles I’ve ever smelled and they’ve got a million options to choose from. My favorite is their “Orange Blossom” (I get it for the wife sometimes while secretly enjoying it for myself.)

I’m sure you can find a good one for mom.

4. Edible Arrangements

This is my go-to Mother’s Day gift. Especially when I can’t think of something better to give my mom and wife.

5. StoryWorth

This is a cool one. StoryWorth is a service that’ll email weekly storytelling prompts to mom for a year and then compile her written memories and photos into a professionally bound hardcover book.

Here’s how it works:

1. You choose from a series of weekly questions that spark memories and inspire her to share stories and photos.

2. StoryWorth emails the prompts to her, and all she has to do is reply to the email.

3. 12 months later, you’ll have all her stories preserved in a book you can read, reread and pass down.

Makes for a great Mother’s Day gift - especially if you think she’d be into sharing her story.

6. 1-2-5 Method Stationery

Women love premium stationery. And if she’s a list-maker, a productivity nerd, or just appreciates luxury productivity tools, then look no further than 1-2-5 Method. She’ll appreciate the ultra-premium paper and card stock they use for all their products. All made in California, USA.

Top picks for Mother’s Day:

• Time Blocking Planner Pads

• Daily Productivity Cards.

7. Cameo

There’s this comedian my dad loves, named Maz Jobrani. A few years ago, my brother paid Jobrani to record a personalized Father’s Day message for our dad. He got a kick out of it and rewatched it at least a hundred times.

You can do the same thing for Mother’s Day with a site called Cameo, which features all sorts of notable folks — from Ric Flair to Snoop Dogg.

8. Wearable Blankets

This is a fun one. A full-on wearable blanket she can relax and lounge in.

9. Ferlind Nut-Milk Maker

Women—especially moms—absolutely love a good kitchen appliance.

Last year, I gave my wife the Ferlind 8-in-1 Nut Milk Maker for Mother’s Day so she can make her own almond milk. I kid you not when I tell you she’s used it almost every single week since I gave it to her.

10. Classic Mother’s Day gifts

If none of the above are a good fit, here are a few classics that you can’t go wrong with:

• Book a class for her: yoga, pilates, cooking, painting, etc.

• Take her to brunch or dinner. Make sure it’s her favorite place, not yours.

• Jewelry. If it’s meaningful, she’ll wear it forever and think of you every time.

• A 1-year subscription to a personal growth platform, like Masterclass, Club 12, or Gaia.

• Spa day. Call the place and book it for her, or get a gift card and let her enjoy it on her own time.

• Plan a day together that revolves around her interests: hiking, beach day, meditation, wine tasting, etc.

• Give her a self-care gift. Here are some great picks:

  • Luxury pillows

  • Skincare & makeup

  • Aromatherapy shower kit

  • Bath and Body Spa Basket

  • Perfume: OUAI Dean Street Eau de Parfum

  • The Kitsch Mother’s Day Luxury Self-Care bundle

• And last but not least: flowers. They’re the original, the classic, the Mother’s Day gift that never gets old… If you want to step it up a bit this year, look into “forever flowers” — I’ve been giving these to my mom and wife over the last few years. They last… FOREVER.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

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📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: Gentleman’s Guide to Mother’s Day

Who mothered you when you needed it most?

Mother’s Day isn’t just about your mom.

It’s about every woman who stepped in when you needed someone. The aunt who let you crash at her place when things were rough. The teacher who saw something in you. Your friend’s mom who fed you like you were hers. The neighbor who checked on you. The woman who didn’t give birth to you but showed up like she did.

This prompt helps you figure out who actually mothered you—and how to show up for them in a way that’s thoughtful, creative, and not just another Hallmark moment.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I want to make Mother's Day meaningful this year by acknowledging the women who actually mothered me—not just the traditional ones. Help me figure out who to show up for and how to do it in a way that's genuine, thoughtful, and not generic.

Help me:

1. Identify ALL the women who mothered me
   - My biological mother (if she's in my life)
   - My partner (if she's a mother to our kids)
   - Grandmother, mother-in-law, stepmom, aunt, older sister
   - A teacher, coach, mentor who showed up when I needed someone
   - A friend's mom who treated me like family
   - A neighbor, coworker, or stranger who stepped in at the right time
   - Anyone who played a maternal role, even briefly

2. Acknowledge complicated relationships honestly
   - If my relationship with my mom is strained, do I reach out anyway? What's genuine without being forced?
   - Who do I owe an acknowledgment to that I've never given?
   - Who shaped me that I've never thanked?

3. Figure out what would actually be meaningful to each woman
   - Not "what's expected"—what would surprise her in a good way?
   - Does she want time? A conversation? A letter? A favor? A story told about her?
   - What's she been meaning to do that she won't do for herself?
   - What would make her feel seen, not just appreciated?

4. Think outside the box—no Hallmark moves
   - Instead of flowers: What if I fixed the thing she's been complaining about?
   - Instead of brunch: What if I showed up and helped her with something she's been putting off?
   - Instead of a card: What if I wrote her a real letter about a specific moment she saved me?
   - Instead of a gift: What if I told my kids a story about her they've never heard?
   - Instead of one day: What if I started a habit that shows I'm paying attention year-round?

5. Create a specific action plan for each woman
   - Who am I reaching out to?
   - What am I doing? (Be specific—no vague "get her something nice")
   - When am I doing it? (Don't wait until the last minute)
   - What's the gesture that's uniquely her?

Here are the women who mothered me: [List them—be expansive, not just traditional]

Here's what I think would be meaningful: [Be creative]

Don't let me phone this in. Make me think bigger than flowers and brunch.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you see all the women who actually mothered you—not just the ones you’re “supposed” to acknowledge.

By the end, you’ll have:

• A full list of women who deserve recognition

• Creative, thoughtful gestures (not generic gifts)

• Specific actions for each person

• A way to show you’ve been paying attention all along

WHY THIS MATTERS

Mothering isn’t just biology. It’s the woman who saw you when no one else did. The one who fed you when you were hungry. The one who listened when you needed someone. The one who stepped in when your own mom couldn’t.

Those women deserve more than being forgotten because they’re not on a Hallmark list.

This isn’t about buying something. It’s about showing up. Telling the truth. Saying thank you for something you’ve never acknowledged.

That’s what Mother’s Day should be.

Run this prompt. Figure out who mothered you. Show up like you mean it.

Drop one woman you’re planning to acknowledge this Mother’s Day who isn’t your mom. Let’s expand the circle.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Raised by More Than One

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

Watch | A Powerful Message About a Mother’s Love

Be sure to subscribe to our Gents Journey YouTube channel

(Watch the video above first.)

Honoring Mom Before it’s Too Late

No matter how far you rise or fall — when you’re broken, bullied, and lost —

Your mother was the one who believed in you.

That’s not just love. That’s unconditional love. And it’s the most powerful force that’s ever carried you through this life.

She didn’t love the version of you that had it all figured out.

She loved you — the messy, unfinished, still-becoming version. That belief?

It’s the foundation of your life, and what you may now be building as a parent.

Own Your Story

Here’s a question from our Journey Deck: If your childhood bedroom could talk, what’s the first thing it would say?

Every man starts as a boy. The love you received, the patterns you absorbed, the struggles you witnessed, and the behaviors you inherited — they’re all still in there.

But what happens now? It’s on you.

Sunday, May 10th, is your chance to prove it.

Whether you have generational trauma or not, break the cycle. Be present. Love your wife and kids for exactly who they are — not who you need them to be.

Honor the past for the good and bad that have shaped you, as it’s all served its purpose.

Own it — then build something better with it.

Family is all we have.

Counting Your Moments

If you’re 45 and your mom is 65 or 70 — even if she lives to 80 and you see her twice a year — you have 20 to 30 visits left. Here’s Jesse Itzler breaking that down better than anyone.

Don’t let that time slip away.

Having lost my mother to cancer three years ago, I’d give anything for one more day, one more moment, one more memory. See how she changed my life in my TEDx talk.

That loss taught me one thing: don’t wait.

And do the same with the woman who gave you the greatest gift of all — fatherhood.

Your wife, your partner, the mother of your children, deserves that same love and attention every single day.

So here’s your takeaway: Call your mom. Call your wife. Call any woman who’s made an impact on your life and thank her for believing in you.

Then record a video. Tell her what she means to you. Send it — so she can watch it over and over again.

Together we raise each other higher.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

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What if?

Two words. That’s it. And they control everything.

Your anxiety. Your hope. Your future. Your present. The life you’re building or the life you’re avoiding.

Let me explain.

Read more

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

ANNOUNCING

The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
Substack | Apple Podcasts | Spotify

Subscribe now

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

10 tips to become a more presentable man

There’s a trend happening on the internet right now.

It’s called “looksmaxxing.”

Looksmaxxing • noun | LOOKS-mak-sing
An online self-improvement practice, primarily practiced amongst men, that is focused on the process of maximizing one’s own physical attractiveness.

In today’s issue, we’re going to be looking at a few simple things you can do to “max-out” your own looks.

Here are 10 ideas to get you started:

1. Define your jawline with facial exercises. My favorite is the “jaw chin up”. Here’s how to do it:

Read more

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Read more

We launched this podcast to help men live better, work better, and BE better - both in life and in business.

And it kick things off, we couldn’t think of a better first guest than John Lee Dumas, host of the legendary business podcast, Entrepreneurs on Fire.

In this premier episode, we bypass the usual business talk and dive straight into the deep end: what makes life meaningful as a man today.

John gets candid about his personal life, navigating family dynamics, and why stepping away from the hustle of the city to build a more traditional, grounded life was a game-changer.

Here’s a glimpse of what we unpack in Episode #001:

• The Modern Provider - We explore the unique dynamics of being a full-time provider while balancing the demands of family and business, and how those roles look vastly different depending on where you live.

• The Power of the Mastermind - Why the old adage “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” is absolute truth. We discuss why men desperately need a tight-knit brotherhood for support, accountability, and camaraderie—especially after leaving highly structured environments like the military.

• “This Too Shall Pass” - John shares his mindset for navigating the inevitable peaks and valleys of entrepreneurship and life.

• Why Retirement is a Trap - We discuss why losing your purpose and relevancy is the “number one killer” for men, and why finding joy in meaningful work should be a lifelong pursuit.

• Daily Non-Negotiables - A look into the simple, grounding routines—like a 3-mile walk with the dog and some Caribbean sunshine—that keep JLD anchored and focused.

About John Lee Dumas

What if I just quit my job?

Many men experience this same thought.

And due to a fear mindset, they often tell themselves that they “have to go to work” versus telling themselves they “get to go to work.”

Nearly 60% of U.S. workers feel detached, unfulfilled, or unhappy at work.

This comes with great stress, burden, and the expectation that you must be the one who provides for your family.

If you’re tired of spending 90% of your day doing things you don’t enjoy and only 10% doing what you love, then you definitely need to listen to this brief talk with John Lee Dumas of Entrepreneurs on Fire.

After serving as an active-duty Army Officer for four years, Dumas tried law school (and dropped out after the first semester), corporate finance, and commercial real estate, yet still found himself drained and unfulfilled.

His journey included a lot of struggle and searching, as many of ours do too.

However, all it takes is one day, one decision, one introduction to change your life.

For John Lee Dumas, that one moment came when he decided to help others by launching the Entrepreneurs on Fire podcast.

Eventually, it grew into a thriving community where he inspires entrepreneurs to break out of complacency and start building the life they’ve always dreamed of.

Key takeaways & links from this episode:

• The Common Path to Uncommon Success by John Lee Dumas

• Write down your goals.

• “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” — Jim Rohn

• John’s podcast: Entrepreneurs on Fire

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Let’s dig in…

Read more

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Let’s dig in…

Read more

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Let’s dig in…

Read more

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Let’s dig in…

Subscribe now

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• Date: March 18th

• Time: 12 pm (ET) / 9 am (PT)

• Duration: 60 minutes

• Location: Zoom

Take 30 seconds to register now (it’s free)

Register + Join

Hey Gents,

Our next monthly men’s meeting is on Wednesday, March 18th, and we’ll be talking about a core pillar of manhood: Fitness. You’re not gonna wanna miss this one.

Details below:

• Date: March 18th

• Time: 12 pm (ET) / 9 am (PT)

• Location: Zoom

Register Here

We’ve decided to do something crazy and give EVERY attendee a FREE 30-MIN COACHING SESSION (Regularly $500) as part of our 2026 initiative to help as many men as possible. Be sure to RSVP here.

Why We Started These Meetings

For the past five years, the three of us at Gents Journey—Dean, Matty, and Stephen—have met regularly to support each other, stay accountable, and talk through the real challenges of life as men.

One topic kept coming up again and again: fitness.

We realized that staying physically strong isn’t just about looking good—it’s about having the energy, discipline, and resilience to show up for our work, our families, and ourselves. When one of us was slipping on workouts or health habits, the others stepped in with encouragement and accountability.

That simple support made a huge difference.

So we decided to open these meetings to other men who want the same thing: a place to stay motivated, talk honestly about life, and keep each other on track—especially when it comes to health and fitness.

Once a month, we meet on Zoom. Sometimes we focus on a theme like health, fatherhood, finances, or discipline. Other times, we just talk about what’s going on in our lives.

Because the truth is, life throws challenges at all of us. And having a group of men who have your back makes those challenges a lot easier to face.

These meetings are free for any man who wants to join.

Show up, connect, and commit to becoming stronger—physically and mentally. 💪

Are you Ready to Level Up?

Register now for this upcoming Wednesday, March 18th, at 12 pm ET to dive deeper into our core pillar of manhood: Fitness. It’s NOT to be missed!

Details below:

• Date: March 18th

• Time: 12 pm (ET) / 9 am (PT)

• Location: Zoom

Again, each attendee gets a free 30-min coaching session (Regularly $500) simply for attending. Be sure to RSVP here. We can wait to see you all!

— Dean Bokhari, Matt McManus, Stephen Seidel

Co-Founders, Gents Journey

Every Monday, we broadcast a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

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But this assumes we’re asking ourselves a…

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Welcome to issue #8 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Let’s dig in…

Subscribe now

Read more