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📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

Testosterone

^{by Dean Bokhari}

There was a time when men worked with their bodies instead of against them.

They woke with the sun and lifted heavy things. They walked everywhere instead of driving. They ate real food and went to sleep when it got dark.

Their environment demanded strength, and their hormones responded.

Today, the opposite is true.

Men spend more time sitting than standing.

They sleep less than they should, live under constant stress, eat ultra-processed food, and stare at glowing screens until midnight.

It’s no wonder why so many men feel so exhausted.

So, what does this have to do with testosterone?

Testosterone involves much more than just building muscle…

When your t-levels are low, your ambition suffers and your energy levels plummet.

But when your t-levels are healthy, you feel strong, energized, and confident.

You start waking up with the energy you need to attack the day, instead of merely surviving it.

So here’s the big question: How can you stimulate healthy testosterone production without jamming a needle in your ass?

I’ve got a few tips…

Here are the highest-leverage habits for men who want to stimulate healthy testosterone production:

• Lift heavy and focus on compound movements 3–5 times per week. Especially squats.

• Sleep 7–9 hours every night. Protect it like your career depends on it. Your body produces testosterone while you sleep.

• Get outside. Morning sunlight helps regulate your circadian rhythm and supports hormone health.

• Eat enough protein and healthy fats. Hormones are built from the nutrients you provide.

• Stay lean. Excess body fat can negatively affect testosterone levels and promote estrogen production (the last thing you want is gynecomastia (aka: man-boobs).

• Walk daily. Movement lowers stress and improves overall metabolic health.

• Manage stress before it manages you. Chronically elevated cortisol and testosterone don’t coexist well.

• Prioritize zinc, magnesium, and vitamin D if you’re testosterone levels are deficient.

• Drink less alcohol. Or stop completely.

• Build a life that challenges you. Men thrive when they have purpose, responsibility, and meaningful work.

Testosterone maxxing isn’t about chasing some internet trend.

It’s about becoming the kind of man whose daily habits naturally produce strength.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: Testosterone-Maxxing

Your test levels don’t have to crash. Here’s what actually works.

Real talk: If you’re 40+, your testosterone is probably 20-30% lower than it was at 25.

That’s just biology. It happens to all of us.

But here’s what nobody tells you: You can fight it. Not with expensive clinics or steroids. With cheap, simple, effortless stuff you can do today.

Better sleep. Heavier squats. Cold water. Less stress. Specific supplements. Sunlight. Moving your body. All of it works. All of it’s free or nearly free.

This prompt helps you figure out what you’re already doing right that’s boosting your test, and what simple additions could take it even higher without complicating your life.

Because testosterone-maxxing doesn’t mean grinding for 2 hours at the gym. It means being intentional about a few things and watching the compound effect happen.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I'm 40+ and I know my testosterone has probably taken a hit. But I don't want to stress about it or overthink it. Help me see what I'm already doing right and give me 5-10 dead-simple, cheap, effortless things I can add to actually boost my levels.

Help me:

1. AUDIT what you're already doing (Give yourself credit)
   - How many times a week are you moving heavy things? (Squats, deadlifts, etc.)
   - How's your sleep? (7+ hours? 5? Be honest)
   - Are you in sunlight regularly?
   - How's your stress level? (1-10, real honest answer)
   - What's your diet like? (Protein? Whole foods? Garbage? Somewhere in between?)
   - Are you already doing anything intentionally for testosterone?

Score yourself: What are you actually crushing at? Where are the easy wins?

2. IDENTIFY the cheapest, easiest wins
   - What ONE thing could you add this week that's literally free?
   - What ONE supplement under $20/month could move the needle?
   - What ONE movement could you add to your routine?
   - What lifestyle shift is actually doable?

3. GET SPECIFIC about supplements (The cheap ones that actually work)
   - Vitamin D (if you're not getting sun)
   - Zinc (if you're deficient—hard to know without testing)
   - Magnesium (helps sleep, helps test)
   - Creatine (cheap, proven, boring but works)
   - What else might be worth trying?

4. BUILD the effortless tactics
   - Cold shower? (2 minutes. Free. Proven.)
   - Morning sunlight? (Walk outside. Free. Game-changer.)
   - Heavy squats 2x/week? (If you're not already)
   - Better sleep? (What's ONE thing blocking your sleep?)
   - Less alcohol? (Seriously impacts test levels)
   - Stress management? (5 min meditation? Walk? Whatever works)

5. CREATE your testosterone game plan
   - What are you already doing right?
   - What's the ONE thing you're adding this week?
   - What's the ONE thing you're adding next week?
   - How do you track progress? (Feel? Energy? Strength gains? Actual testing?)
   - When do you check in on this?

Here's what I'm already doing: [Be honest about your routine]

Here's what's probably dragging my levels down: [Sleep? Stress? Diet? Alcohol? Sedentary?]

Here's what I'm willing to change: [Be real about what you'll actually do]

Don't let me overthink this. Give me the cheap, simple, effortless tactics that actually work.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you separate real science from bro-science. It’s going to show you what you’re already doing right and give you 5-10 tactical moves that cost almost nothing.

By the end, you’ll have:

• A real picture of where your testosterone game stands

• Credit for what you’re already crushing

• 5-10 cheap, effortless additions

• A supplement game plan (if you want it)

• A progression plan (not all at once, just smart stacking)

• Permission to stop stressing and start winning

THE STATS (Why this matters)

• Average guy loses 1% of testosterone per year after 30

• By 40-50, you’re looking at 20-30% lower than your 25-year-old self

• But: Guys who lift heavy, sleep well, manage stress, and get sunlight maintain 80-90% of their levels

• That’s not decline. That’s winning.

WHY THIS MATTERS

Low testosterone isn’t just about feeling weak or not getting gains. It affects energy, mood, drive, libido, body composition, cognition. All of it.

But here’s the good news: You don’t need expensive clinics or questionable substances. Heavy lifting, sleep, sunlight, smart supplementation, and stress management actually work.

The best part? Most of it’s free or nearly free.

Run this prompt. Audit your game. Start stacking small wins.

Drop ONE testosterone-boosting tactic you’re adding this week. Let’s see who’s actually optimizing.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Testosterone-Maxxing The Smart Way

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

It’s Now or Never

Watch & Listen | 3 Proven Ways to Boost Your Testosterone

Two years ago, I looked in the mirror and told myself it was now or never.

I was on the other side of 45 and staring down 50, and I decided it was finally time to take my body and my health seriously. And as a result, testosterone played a big part.

As a PR consultant, most of my work happens in front of a computer or on a screen with clients, with the occasional chance meeting or strategic coffee along the way.

I wasn’t getting any younger, and I knew my vitality and my strength weren’t either.

It was time to stop coasting and start climbing.

From Men’s Health to My Health

I picked up a Men’s Health mag and did the routine they dubbed “the only full-body workout you’ll ever need.”

It worked for a while, then it went stagnant. Then I met a guy at the gym who happened to be a trainer, and we became friends. His name was Marcus. I taught him business. He taught me strength training.

Through sweat and strategies, we grew even closer and helped raise each other higher.

And slowly, day by day, I got stronger. So I decided to check my testosterone levels, and surprisingly, they were normal, and over time elevated slightly.

Not from a pill. From showing up.

And to reiterate on the video above, here’s what actually moved the needle:

• Compound lifts. Bench, squat, deadlift, push-ups, pull-ups. The big movements that hit everything.

• Big muscle groups. Chest, back, quads, hamstrings. Go where the mass is.

• Shorter rest. Cut the time between reps, and it becomes a HIIT session, and your body responds.

I’m no bodybuilder, but I feel it in everything I do.

At 5’11”, 165 pounds with decent T-levels, I feel the healthiest in my life.

The Real Reason I Get Up

The gift of showing up, whether it’s for your wife, your kids, or most importantly yourself, was the key to unlocking my highest potential and boosting my T along the way.

My daughter said something to me the other day. “Dad, you’re going to be an old dad, and I want you around.”

So I told her, “Sweetie, you know how I get up every morning and hit the gym before you’re even awake? That’s for you. That’s so we can share a long life together.”

So when you get up, show up, and test up, you give yourself the grace to be vulnerable, vital, and vivacious in every phase of life.

Lastly, if you want to start boosting your testosterone, get your ass out of bed and into the gym. It’s just that simple.

And if that doesn’t work, well, there’s always HGH. ;)

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

• Men’s Health No Gym Required: Kettlebells - Achieve A Full Body Transformation When You Use Just One Kettlebell

• Boost Testosterone Naturally with Tribulus

• Master the Morning by Dean Bokhari

• Pre-Order 52 Conversation Card Deck by Journey Deck

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

Share

The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
Substack | Apple Podcasts | Spotify

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Subscribe now

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

Manly hobbies

^{by Dean Bokhari}

As men, most of us are buried in obligations — work, bills, wife, kids, aging parents, and on and on.

With all these responsibilities, who the hell has time for a hobby?

If you nodded along to that, then I’d suggest you need a hobby more than anyone else.

Why?

Because hobbies are outlets. They give us an opportunity to channel our energy into something that matters to us.

Whether that’s building something, doing something, collecting something, or anything else — a solid hobby can be a respite for any man.

Personally, I’ve gotten in and out of several “manly” hobbies over the years…

I spent years (and far too much money) on a watch-collecting hobby that I’ve since lost interest in.

I’ve also spent a pretty penny on a pen-collecting hobby that I’ve also lost interest in.

And once I’m closer to the billionaire bracket, I’ll embark on a classic-car collecting hobby — which will also very likely be an absolute waste of money — but it’s something I’d still like to try. Because jumping into a drop-top 1964 Aston Martin DB5 on a Tuesday afternoon is a vibe I want to feel.

Having said that, collecting things as a hobby will not sustain your interest in any fulfilling way.

Sure, it feels good to get something you’ve been coveting, but that feeling doesn’t last.

And in my view, collecting doesn’t occupy your mind in the same productive way as doing or building something does.

There’s something about working with your hands that feels natural and fulfilling for a man.

Especially because most of us spend our working hours doing knowledge work.

So, here are a few of the hobbies I’m into right now.

Feel free to try them out for yourself.

My current hobbies:

• Chopping wood - I’d say this is one of the manliest hobbies you could pick up next to woodworking. And I’ve been doing a lot of it lately. I hack away for a couple hours at a time at my ranch and it’s genuinely therapeutic. It’s also a heck of a workout.

• Hiking

• Lifting weights

• Drawing and sketching

• Reading old-ass physical books

Hobbies I’m thinking about trying:

• Leather-working - I’d love to learn how to make hand-sewn leather-covered notebooks

• Woodworking

• Archery

• Horseback riding

• Playing polo

If you’re a pro at any of these five (especially the first two), leave a comment or DM me because I’m genuinely interested in learning more.

Hobbies I’ve tried and enjoyed in the past but no longer engage in:

• Scotch and whiskey tasting - I no longer drink (for religious and health reasons) but awhile back, I took an interest in scotch and whiskey tasting. I learned about the wide world of Japanese whiskey, and Suntory’s beautifully bottled Hibiki Harmony quickly became a favorite for me. I also enjoyed distilleries like Blanton’s, Macallan, and Balvenie. Again, I no longer drink, but I’ll be honest - it was a fun run.

• Swimming - This is one I’d like to get back into at some point

• Shooting - Fun, but not something I do enough to call a hobby

• Fishing - Fun, but not something I do enough to call a hobby

• CrossFit - Didn’t like the vibe and culture

Lastly, I also played pickleball for the first time this past weekend - it was a blast! I can see it becoming a hobby if I can dedicate enough time toward mastering the game. We shall see.

So, what about you? What are your favorite hobbies? Which ones do you recommend? I’ve opened up the comments for this post because I legit want to know, so please drop comment with your own favorite hobbies or any hobbies you’d suggest might be worth trying out.

Leave a comment

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: Hobbies

Summer is the season to actually DO something.

Here’s what happens: You get to summer and suddenly you have time. The days are long. The weather’s nice. Your kids are out of school. And then... you do nothing with it.

You fall back into the same routines. Work, home, screen time. Days blur together. Summer passes.

But what if you actually picked something up this summer? What if you got a hobby? Something that’s just for you. Something that makes you move. Something that makes time stop.

A hobby isn’t about being good at something. It’s about doing something because it matters to you. Because it brings you joy. Because it’s yours.

Maybe it’s fishing. Maybe it’s building something. Maybe it’s teaching your kid something you love. Maybe it’s getting outside and moving. Maybe it’s learning something completely new.

This prompt helps you figure out what hobby is actually calling you—and how to protect time for it this summer.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I want to pick up a hobby this summer—something that's just for me, something that gets me outside or engaged, something that might involve my kids or something that's purely mine. Help me figure out what actually calls to me and how to make it real.

Help me:

1. Identify what actually brings you joy (Not what you think should)
   - What did you used to love doing before life got busy?
   - What do you find yourself daydreaming about?
   - What activity makes you lose track of time?
   - What would you do if you had zero judgment from anyone?
   - Is it outdoors? Building? Teaching? Learning? Moving? Creating?

2. Picture yourself doing it (Make it real)
   - What does it look like? (You, your kids, nature, garage, water, etc.)
   - How does it feel in your body?
   - Who's with you? (Solo? Kids? Partner? Friends?)
   - What time of day? (Early morning? Weekend? Weeknight after work?)
   - Why does this one matter to you right now?

3. Figure out the parenting angle (If that matters)
   - Is this something you want to do WITH your kids?
   - Or is this something that's just for you (and that's okay)?
   - If it's with your kids—what are you actually teaching them?
   - What memories are you building?
   - How does this hobby make you a better dad?

4. Identify what's holding you back
   - What excuse are you making? (Time? Money? Don't know where to start? Too old to learn?)
   - What's the real barrier? (Be honest)
   - What do you need to make this happen? (Gear? Space? Lessons? Permission?)
   - What would change if you just started anyway?

5. Create your summer hobby plan
   - What's the hobby?
   - When are you going to do it? (Pick a specific day/time)
   - What's the first move? (Buy gear? Find a spot? Invite someone? Take a lesson?)
   - How much time can you protect for this? (Even 30 minutes counts)
   - Who are you telling so you actually follow through?

Here's what I used to love: [What brings you joy?]

Here's what I want to do this summer: [The hobby that's calling]

Here's why it matters: [Why now? What's it about?]

Here's what's holding me back: [Be real about the barrier]

Don't let me rationalize this away. Help me actually pick something up and do it this summer.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you move past “I should pick up a hobby” to actually identifying what your soul is calling for.

By the end, you’ll have:

• A clear picture of what hobby actually speaks to you

• Understanding of why it matters

• Clarity on whether this is solo or with your kids

• A real barrier identified (and how to overcome it)

• A specific plan to start this summer

• Permission to protect time for something that’s just for you

WHY THIS MATTERS

Hobbies aren’t luxury. They’re survival. They’re the thing that keeps you sane, keeps you you, keeps you alive inside.

Most dads put hobbies on hold “until the kids are older” or “when work slows down.” That day never comes.

But summer? Summer is the invitation. The weather says yes. The long days say yes. Your kids might actually want to be with you doing something outside.

So pick something. Anything. And protect the time for it.

Because a dad who has something that brings him joy is a better dad. A better partner. A better human.

Run this prompt. Pick your hobby. Protect the time. Make summer mean something.

Drop the hobby you’re picking up this summer. Let’s see who’s actually doing something.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Hobbies Are How We Stay Alive

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

It’s Never Just a Hobby

Watch & Listen I This Hobby Brought Me Back to Life

Life had become mundane, the same sh*t every day, no sense of fun.

It felt like Groundhog Day, the movie, as I was going through the motions, and I felt a sense of lack. I was searching for joy and happiness, instead of allowing it to bubble up from within, from having a hobby.

Then I watched this guy challenge himself to dust off his sketchbooks he’d let collect cobwebs, and something clicked.

I decided to do the same thing and gave myself 14 days to reinvest in myself and a love lost. No pressure. Just showing up.

I chose to start playing tennis again, and it reminded me of something I’d almost forgotten.

Sometimes life gets in the way, but really it’s all about play.

Melting Wax and Making Magic

For our summer vacation, we decided to visit the Crayola Museum outside Easton, PA.

Did you know Crayola produces about 3 billion crayons annually?

I expected another boring museum, yet I watched in delight as my kids colored, made their own crayons, and melted wax into drawings and little sculptures.

It was like watching a building go up in time-lapse. Piece by piece, moment by moment. The satisfaction I felt was euphoric.

• The awe.

• The transformation.

• The artistry.

No scores. No levels. No notifications.

Just color and imagination and a room full of creativity, completely lost in every hue and activity we experienced.

And it made me think, “Are the apps, the games, and the endless screens quietly stealing their sense of play, pleasure, and creativity?” Perhaps.

Either way, there might be a better story here.

Maybe a hobby doesn’t just kill time; it gives you your sense of time (and joy) back.

Why Hobbies Matter

If we’re lucky, our hobbies become our habits, and our habits become our career.

Just because a hobby doesn’t pay the bills doesn’t mean it isn’t just as important as your professional duties. As we get older, our friends, family, and sense of fun slowly fade into the limelight.

One of the best side effects of AI is watching people gravitate back toward real life. Toward genuine connection from being with people or engaging in life, head on and face first.

When you show up in person, it’s a whole lot more human and less transactional. That’s it. The whole game is showing up and creating.

Connection is your currency, and your hobby sets you on the journey.

• You become an instrument. When you work with your hands, you let the divine flow through you. The world becomes your canvas.

• You pull instead of push. There’s an old saying: if it’s fun, it gets done. You stop grinding and start pulling joy into your life. Push is effort. Pull is gravity.

• You grow your circle. The same gravity that pulls in joy pulls in the people who love what you love, right into your inner circle.

Here’s my challenge for you: Pick something you’ve always loved but let slip, or start something brand new you’ve been quietly curious about. Then comment below and name it, so you have to hold yourself accountable.

Because your hobby isn't a distraction from your life.

It's the oracle pointing you back to it.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

PS: A quick trivia for you. What Dad-rap artist said, "it's just a hobby I picked up in the hotel lobby?" Drop your answer in the comments. Or click here if you truly don't know.

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

• The Original Buddha Board - start creating today!

• The Expert Guide to 365 Hobbies, 1 per day of the year

• Master the Morning by Dean Bokhari

• Pre-Order 52 Conversation Card Deck by Journey Deck

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

Share

The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
Substack | Apple Podcasts | Spotify

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Subscribe now

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

90s nostalgia

^{by Dean Bokhari}

The 90s was a heck of an era that “kids these days” will never truly understand…

The excitement of being dropped off at the mall so you could meet your friends at the arcade and play Street Fighter for six hours.

The nerves that come with actually asking that girl in person if she was interested (instead of hiding behind a screen).

And that damn 56k dial-up internet - courtesy of an AOL disc that came in the mail.

Today, rather than writing up a column, I’m leaving you with a series of 90s nostalgia clips that I, personally, can’t get enough of.

Makes me wish I had a time-machine, just so I could go back and relive it for a little while.

Enjoy, gentlemen, enjoy…

Sounds like the 90s.

Dunkaroooooos

Blockbuster, baby….

Arcades, Goosebumps books, and more from the 90s

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: The Mixtape Playlist

Make a playlist like it’s 1995. Intentional. Sequenced. Real.

Back in the nineties, you didn’t just throw songs together. You built a mixtape.

You’d sit with your tape deck, thinking about flow. About which song came next. About how one track led to another. Every song mattered. Every placement had a reason. The order was everything.

Now we have playlists. But most playlists are just... collections. Random. Algorithmic. Missing the soul of what a mixtape actually was.

This prompt helps you build a modern playlist with old-school mixtape energy. Intentional. Sequenced. A journey from start to finish. The kind of playlist you’d actually give to someone to say, “This is what I’m about. This is who I am right now.”

Then we’re taking it digital. You can plug it into Spotify AI to find similar songs. You can run it through Claude or ChatGPT to expand it, understand it deeper, or remix it.

But first? You build it like it’s 1995.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I want to build a playlist the old-school way—like a nineties mixtape. Intentional. Sequenced. Real. Help me create something that actually means something.

Help me:

1. Identify the songs that matter to you (Your soul soundtrack)
   - What songs make you feel alive?
   - What songs remind you who you are?
   - What songs have you played a hundred times?
   - What songs make you want to move, think, or feel differently?
   - Pick 8-12 songs that genuinely move you (not what you think should move you)

2. Understand why each song matters
   - For each song: Why does this one hit? What does it make you feel?
   - Is it the lyrics? The beat? A memory attached to it?
   - What's it saying about where you're at right now?
   - What does this song represent about you?

3. Build the sequence (The mixtape flow)
   - What order should these songs go in?
   - How do they flow together?
   - Does it start quiet and build? Start energetic and evolve?
   - What's the emotional journey from first song to last?

4. Give your playlist a name and purpose
   - What's this playlist actually about?
   - What's the through-line connecting all these songs?
   - Who is this for? (Even if it's just you)
   - What's the story it tells?

5. Expand or remix it
   - Are there songs missing that should be on here?
   - What would you add to make it even more you?
   - Give me 3-5 similar songs I haven't heard that fit this vibe
   - Help me see what this playlist is really saying about me

Here are my core songs: [List your 8-12 songs]

Here's why these songs matter to me: [Explain what they mean]

Here's what my playlist is about: [What's the theme or story?]

Help me build something real. Something that sounds like me.

PRO TIP: Take it digital

Once you have your playlist:

Spotify AI: Copy your song list into Spotify’s AI playlist generator and it’ll find similar vibes to expand your collection.

Claude or ChatGPT: Plug this entire prompt (with your answers) into Claude or ChatGPT and ask:

• “Help me expand this playlist with 5 new songs”

• “What’s the deeper story behind these songs?”

• “What does this playlist say about me?”

• “Create a visual description of what this playlist looks and feels like”

The AI can help you see patterns, fill gaps, and deepen the meaning.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you build a playlist with real intention—the way mixtapes used to be made.

By the end, you’ll have:

• A personal playlist of 8-12 songs that represent you

• Understanding of why each song matters

• A sequence that flows

• A name and purpose for your playlist

• Expansion ideas to make it even more powerful

WHY THIS MATTERS

Music is one of the most honest things about us. The songs you love, the ones you replay, the ones that make you move—they’re not a choice. They’re a signal.

Your playlist is a mirror. It shows you who you are right now. What moves you. What you’re searching for. What you’ve found.

That’s worth knowing. That’s worth protecting.

The nineties understood that. They understood that a playlist (or a mixtape) was a message.

Let’s bring that back.

Run this prompt. Build your playlist. Listen to who you actually are.

Drop your playlist name and one song that’s gotta be on it. Let’s see what moves you.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Your Playlist Is Your Story

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

In the 90’s, You Had to Show Up

Watch & Listen I Growing up in the 90’s, we were really the last to LIVE

We grew up in the 90’s analog world, where if you wanted something, you went and got it. Tech wasn’t saving you or making it any easier.

To see Jurassic Park outside the theater, you drove to Blockbuster. You wanted a song, you sat by the radio, ready to record. You wanted to see someone, you had to make it happen, literally, without a cellphone.

And when you felt something for someone, you had to find a way too.

• No likes on social media.

• No memes, GIFs, or texts.

• No sliding into DMs at midnight.

You had to SHOW UP, look them in the eye, and let them know how you felt.

Too many of us have become keyboard warriors now, hiding behind screens and algorithms, too afraid to show who we really are. But back then, when words failed us, and they often did, we had one move left.

The Art of the Mixtape

I was the kid listening for the songs that made me FEEL something. The Cure. Smashing Pumpkins. Alice in Chains, whose “Nutshell” still hits hard for me.

Then there was the ritual of it all. The lawn mowing routine. The chores our kids have never heard of. Paper routes. A shift at Circuit City or Blockbuster, trying to cop the hottest flick the second it hit the shelf.

Blockbuster is nearly extinct now, but people are keeping the spirit alive, turning abandoned library boxes into mini-Blockbusters to give away DVDs like little time capsules.

Back then, cash was king. Credit was for emergencies only, or you wrote a check, something 99% of the next generation couldn't even identify today. No UPCs, no swiping. And balancing your checkbook was the stuff CPAs' dreams were made of.

But the mixtape? That was your masterpiece.

They let you say the things you never could out loud. You'd dig through your archives, song by song, and hand someone a piece of your heart you were too scared to speak.

Rage Against the Machine for every renegade, protester, and locker room in America. Sade for the suitor, a quiet bet that one day you’d get to play that one face-to-face, in the heat of the moment. And don’t forget PM Dawn’s “Set Adrift on Memory Bliss.”

We now live a life stacked with irreplaceable memories, and we can only hope our kids get a fraction of it. We had Michael Jordan, Michael Jackson, and Prince. They have LeBron, Harry Styles, and Billie Eilish. Not bad. Just not the same.

Pass The Mic

Recently, I was at a baseball game with my buddy, a Hollywood comedy writer, taking selfie after selfie. He turned to me and said, "Can you get me doubles?" That brought me back to say the least, lol.

We never had that luxury. Back then, you planned every shot on a disposable, prayed they came out, and found out two weeks later at the counter. Usually you had maybe 3 usable photos, while the others were blurry, close-ups or overexposed.

So, how do we pass the mic to our children and future generations?

• Give freely and deeply. Let your relationships marinate the way a mixtape did after spinning round and round for weeks, then check back in.

• Plant the seeds. Let them germinate in their own time, and don’t rush things. We are on borrowed time anyway.

• Pull out your AAA map or those old MapQuest printouts from a favorite trip, and remember it was never about the destination. It was the journey.

Connection is our currency.

And in true mixtape fashion, I’ll leave you with this. If you’re a real one, you already know the answer.

What did Mobb Deep say ain’t no such thing as?

Drop it in the comments. Or click here if you truly don’t know.

And lastly, check out the 90’s hit List by Gents Journey on Spotify:

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

PS: What did we miss? Comment below to share your own hypercolor experiences.

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

• Mixtape Birthday Party Favor Bag

• Cross Colours, Clothing without Prejudice, since 1989

• 90’s stuff on Amazon

• Master the Morning by Dean Bokhari

• Pre-Order 52 Conversation Card Deck by Journey Deck

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

Share

The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
Substack | Apple Podcasts | Spotify

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Subscribe now

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

On finding common ground

^{by Dean Bokhari}

I’m a proud Muslim-American, born in Long Island, NY.

Unless someone asks, my ethnicity isn’t usually something I talk about in a professional context. Not because I’ve got anything to hide, but because I work in a pretty secular industry: Self-Help.

Furthermore, my mission has no racial boundaries—my life’s purpose is to help as many people as I possibly can to improve their lives and achieve their goals.

Having said that, my views on sharing more about my background are evolving a bit…

Because, just like everyone else, I’ve got stories and experiences that’ve molded me into the man I am today, and sharing them creates connection.

I’m also what some people call, “ethnically ambiguous” - which means it’s hard to tell whether I’m white, brown, mixed or martian.

I’ve got a bit of Russian blood running through my veins. But my parents are primarily from the Republic of Uzbekistan—a Turkic country near the Caspian Sea that’s about a 3-hour flight away from a mountainous region called Dagestan—made famous by the one and only, Khabib Nurmagomedov.

I’m very proud—sometimes too proud—of my Uzbek heritage as well as my Muslim faith.

My parents came to the US when they were around 17 or 18 years old, and I had a very privileged childhood.

Growing up, I oscillated between two worlds…

During the week, I hung out with my Christian friends—Ron, Brad, Mike, and James.

But on the weekends, my father took my brother and I to an Islamic Sunday School, where I’d hang out with my Muslim friends—Mohammed, Bassem, Adam, and Ali.

Going back and forth between these two worlds every week helped me understand two seemingly different groups of people on a deeper level.

It also led to a realization that I had very early on:

We’ve all got a heck of a lot more in common than we don’t.

I had just as much fun playing Mario on Nintendo with Brad as I did with Mohammed.

I had just as much fun shooting hoops with Ali as I did with James.

We watched the same TV shows, we complained about the same things, and we all enjoyed eating Gushers.

That’s common ground.

My Christian friends learned to pray to God, while I learned to pray to Allah.

But guess what? They’re two different ways of referencing the exact same Creator—the same one that all Abrahamic faiths pray to. (Just look up how God is written in the Arabic version of the Bible, the one that’s read by Christian Arabs. The answer is: Allah.)

Just like our Christian brothers and sisters, we Muslims also believe in the return of Jesus. The Quran even contains an entire chapter dedicated to the Virgin Mary.

Sure, there are differences, both major and minor. But at the end of the day, Muslims and Christians pray to the same God.

That’s common ground.

It’s not about pointing out how wrong someone is if they believe in something different than us, dress differently than us, or eat differently than us.

It’s about recognizing that we’re all human, have the same basic needs, and all want what’s best for ourselves and families.

As an adult, I still see more common ground than differences.

Here at Gents Journey, the three of us who founded this endeavor are completely different than one another.

Steve is Christian, Matt is spiritual and Christian and also has a Jewish son, and I’m Muslim.

We get along beautifully well.

We think of each other as brothers.

We regularly chat about religion and women and marriage and being a dad.

We talk about our favorite sandwiches, our businesses, politics, wealth, music, emotions, and farting.

We discuss our goals and ideas and challenges and tell each other, “I love you, bro.”

That’s what finding common ground is all about.

And if we could only see beyond what the so-called “news” tries to tell us; if we could only stop focusing on our differences and start leaning into our shared humanity; if we could only look for more of what we have in common—then the whole world would be a safer, happier, and a more enjoyable place for everyone.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: Common Ground

The world just showed us something. Now let’s actually use it.

Right now, the World Cup is happening.

And something wild is occurring. Countries that hate each other are cheering for the same goals. Strangers are hugging in the streets. Old rivalries are paused. People who’ve never met are suddenly brothers. Different languages, different creeds, different everything—and somehow it all melts away because of a ball and a dream.

That’s not magic. That’s what happens when we stop looking for reasons to be separate and start looking for reasons to be together.

But here’s the thing: You don’t need the World Cup to feel this. You don’t need a global event to find your people. You don’t need millions of strangers uniting for you to experience real connection.

You just need to pay attention.

Because common ground isn’t rare. It’s everywhere. It’s the stranger you smile at. It’s the person in line who gets your joke. It’s the human moment that happens when you actually see someone instead of just walking past them.

This week, we’re playing a game. And the game is simple: Find the common ground. Build the tribe. Discover what we’re all actually made of.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I want to play the common ground game. Help me find the connections I've been missing—with strangers, with my community, with the world. Make it a real game with moves, scorecards, and discoveries.

Help me:

1. LEVEL 1: Spot the common ground everywhere (The Observer)
   - What do all humans actually want? (Safety, love, to be seen, to matter, to belong)
   - Where do you see people connecting over shared things?
   - What makes a stranger stop being a stranger?
   - What's one thing you have in common with literally everyone you meet today?

2. LEVEL 2: Make five micro-connections (The Connector)
   - Smile at a stranger and see what happens
   - Ask someone a real question instead of small talk
   - Find one thing you have in common with someone you'd normally pass by
   - Give someone a genuine compliment about something they clearly care about
   - Listen to someone's story without thinking about your response

Score points for: Genuine smiles, real conversations, moments of recognition.

3. LEVEL 3: Find your unexpected tribe (The Tribe Builder)
   - Who have you misjudged based on surface stuff?
   - Who could be in your crew that you never considered?
   - What's one conversation you could have with someone "different" that might change both of you?
   - Where's the common ground you've been missing?
   - Who's standing next to you that you haven't really *seen* yet?

4. LEVEL 4: Understand the collective truth (The Philosopher)
   - What do you learn about humanity when you actually connect with it?
   - What's the same in all of us underneath everything different?
   - How does finding common ground change the way you see people?
   - What becomes possible when you stop looking for reasons to be separate?
   - What's the truth hiding underneath all our differences?

5. LEVEL 5: Build your common ground legacy (The Master)
   - What if you approached every person this week like you're supposed to be connected?
   - What if every stranger was a potential brother or sister?
   - How would you live differently if you actually believed we're all in this together?
   - What's one way you're going to spread this "common ground" energy?
   - How are you going to remind people that we're more alike than we are different?

Here's what I notice about humanity: [What do you see in people?]

Here's who I've been missing: [Who haven't you really seen?]

Here's the common ground I'm discovering: [What connects us?]

Make this real. Make it fun. Make it a game I can win by losing the walls between me and everyone else.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to turn connection into a game with five levels. It’s going to help you see the common ground that’s been right in front of you the whole time.

By the end, you’ll have:

• Five micro-connections to make this week

• Your unexpected tribe identified

• A deeper understanding of what connects all humans

• Permission to see every stranger as a potential brother

• A way to build common ground everywhere you go

WHY THIS MATTERS

The World Cup just showed the world something true: When we stop looking for reasons to be separate and start looking for reasons to connect, everything changes.

But you don’t need eleven players and a stadium to feel this. You feel it every time you actually see someone. Every time you smile at a stranger and they smile back. Every time you have a real conversation instead of small talk. Every time you realize someone who seemed completely different is actually just like you.

That’s the game. That’s the truth we’re all searching for.

We’re more alike than we are different. And the moment you start living like that, your whole world changes.

Run this prompt. Play the levels. Find the common ground everywhere.

Drop one unexpected tribe member you’re discovering this week. Let’s see who’s finding connection.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
We’re All On The Same Team

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

The Universal Language of Soccer, aka Futbol

Watch & Listen I World Cup Tourists try REAL American Food

Fans from everywhere are here in the US, and the first thing connecting us isn’t our beliefs or our politics. It’s what’s in their hearts, and a love of BBQ and good food.

That is the World Cup.

It hands you a ball and a team and says, let’s go on the most insane journey ever and feel something together.

Soccer is the closest thing we have to a universal language.

• No subtitles.

• No translation.

• Only the “goal” of giving it our all.

Served Best When Shared

It's a world where connection is currency. And this past week, I traveled back east to spend some of it. My sister. My childhood best friends. My nieces and nephews, and my Philly phamily, I don't get to see nearly enough.

And what pulled us all into the same room wasn’t reunions or plans. It was soccer.

My niece plays at Drexel. My nephew plays in a beer league. My best friend watches the Premier League every weekend with his son, who’s training for the Olympic youth squad. And yet, we all found ourselves rooting and cheering in unison.

My own kids rarely watch sports at home. But we left it on, and something shifted. Soon they were asking me the difference between a yellow card and a red one. We all cheered for the underdogs, as Cape Verde almost pulled it off.

That's what unfolds when we remove our masks and reveal our truest selves to share a moment with those beside us.

Get out of your head and into your heart.

Our hearts know no differences, only love, joy, and happiness.

What’s one hobby or experience where you lose your head, and all its noise, to something you love?

The Wonderwall is You

Whether you’re pulling for an underdog or watching greats like Messi or Mbappé bend a ball into the corner, something takes over. You lose yourself in the moment. And then the whistle blows, and you hug the person you were cheering against.

Last night I watched England defeat Mexico, and after the game, the England fans and the team sang “Wonderwall” together. Strangers arm in arm, singing all at once.

Watch how powerful that moment was.

That wonderwall isn’t a face, it’s a feeling. It’s you, your drive, and the community around you, the moment you lose yourself and connect on a deeper level to deliver an impact you never knew you had in you.

In the same way, Cape Verde’s goalkeeper inspired millions just by saving a shot. He was that wonder-wall, helping fans everywhere rebound in their own lives.

If you know the song, you know the feeling. It’s about someone who might just be the one who saves you. The one you can’t picture your life without.

Music, sports, and common ground connect us in ways far deeper than words. It’s a currency of trust and hope.

So here’s my challenge. Go to a bar, or invite a friend over. Cheer for the favorite or the underdog with a few friends or a few strangers. See how it lands.

Lastly, I’d love to know if you think Messi should have gotten a red card like Folarin Balogun did. I do.

Either way … connection is currency. And right now, the whole world is rich.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

• adidas World Cup Soccer Ball

• FIFA World Cup 2026 Men’s Soccer Top

• Master the Morning by Dean Bokhari

• Pre-Order 52 Conversation Card Deck by Journey Deck

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

Share

The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
Substack | Apple Podcasts | Spotify

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

SALE ENDS TOMORROW

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📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

Independence is more than freedom

^{by Dean Bokhari}

This Saturday, America celebrates Independence Day.

There will be flags, fireworks, cookouts, and time spent with family and friends.

But beneath the celebration is an idea worth reflecting on:

Freedom is never free.

The independence we enjoy today was purchased through sacrifice. Men and women gave up their comfort, security, and—in many cases—their lives so future generations could live with greater freedom.

That deserves our gratitude.

But Independence Day should also cause us to ask a more personal question:

Are we actually living like free men?

You can live in a free country while still being controlled by your impulses.

Controlled by your phone.

Controlled by the opinions of others.

Controlled by anger, fear, comfort, distraction, or addiction.

Political freedom may be given to you by the nation you live in.

But personal freedom must be earned through discipline.

A man becomes more independent when he can govern himself.

• When he can do what needs to be done, even when he doesn’t feel like it.

• When he can think for himself instead of blindly following the crowd.

• When he can direct his emotions instead of allowing his emotions to control him.

• When he can stand firmly on his principles, even when doing so is inconvenient.

Here’s one of the great paradoxes of life:

The more disciplined you become, the more freedom you experience.

Financial discipline creates freedom from unnecessary debt.

Physical discipline creates freedom to move through life with strength and energy.

Emotional discipline creates freedom from being manipulated by every feeling.

Spiritual discipline creates freedom from becoming a slave to the material world.

And disciplined use of your time creates the freedom to build a meaningful life instead of constantly reacting to one.

The Founding Fathers declared independence from an external authority.

Every man must eventually declare independence from the internal forces that keep him weak, distracted, and dependent.

So as we celebrate this Fourth of July - enjoy the food, watch the fireworks, and spend time with the people you love…

But also take a moment to consider your response the following question:

“What do I need to declare independence from?”

The need for approval?

A destructive habit?

A victim mentality?

Fear of failure?

Comfort?

Name it. Then begin the work of freeing yourself from it.

Lastly, as grateful as we must be for the gift of independence in the United States, let’s not forget about the people that don’t have it.

If you’re an American, like myself, you’re used to being free…

Sadly however, our very own country is starting wars we cannot finish, and stripping away the rights of freedom from innocent people on a side of the world most of us know very little about. All in the name of resources.

Do yourself a favor and watch the first 8-ish minutes of the video below…

It’s an interview with Nicholas Irving, a former U.S. Army Ranger known as one of the deadliest special ops snipers in recent history.

In the clip below, he reacts to a video of an Iranian woman sharing her views on America’s attempts to invade her country.

His response will shock you.

May the 4th be with you,
—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

OFFER ENDS TOMORROW

Upgrade to premium today & unlock everything—courses, guides, premium content and more—exclusively for the gent who’s dedicated to greatness.

Get 40% off forever

📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: Independence

Light it up. The fireworks are about to start.

The grill is smoking. Someone just cracked a cold one. Your uncle’s laughing too loud. Your dad’s got that look like he’s about to nail the burgers. Your best friend showed up with no warning and nobody cares because that’s what crew does. Your kids are feral and nobody’s stopping them. Your mom’s potato salad is legendary and everyone knows it. The sun’s still up but the sky’s getting that golden hour glow. And somewhere in the distance? Fireworks are coming.

This is freedom. This is it.

And here’s the thing nobody tells you: Those fireworks in the sky? They’re just the warm-up for the ones inside you.

Because independence isn’t about being alone in a cabin somewhere eating beans. It’s about standing in your backyard surrounded by your people, beer in hand, laughing at jokes nobody else would get, being exactly who you are without apologizing for it. It’s fireworks. It’s joy. It’s choosing your crew and showing up fully.

That’s what this is really about.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I want to feel like the Fourth of July feels. I want to live with that much freedom, that much joy, that much brotherhood. Help me figure out what that actually looks like and how to build it into my everyday life.

Help me:

1. Remember your best Fourth of July moment (The one you still glow about)
   - What made it feel like freedom?
   - Who was there and why did that matter?
   - What were you allowed to be in that moment?
   - What did freedom actually FEEL like in your body?

2. Define your independence (The real version, not the boring one)
   - What does freedom mean to you? (Is it being yourself? Choosing your path? Telling the truth? All of it?)
   - What's one thing you'd do differently if nobody was watching?
   - What's the version of yourself that comes out when you're with your people?
   - What would your life look like if you lived like that ALL the time?

3. Spot where you're still playing small (And torch it)
   - Where are you performing instead of being yourself?
   - Whose approval are you still chasing that doesn't deserve it?
   - What would happen if you just... stopped caring what they thought?
   - What's ONE thing you'd say or do if you had Fourth of July freedom right now?

4. Identify your crew (Your real tribe, your fireworks people)
   - Who brings out your best self?
   - Who laughs at the same jokes? Who shows up without you asking?
   - Who cheers your wins like they're winning too?
   - Are you spending enough time with these people, or have you been drifting?

5. Plan your summer fireworks (Make it REAL)
   - What's one bold move you're making before summer ends?
   - What conversation are you finally having?
   - What boundary are you setting because it's TRUE for you?
   - What's the version of yourself you're unleashing?

Here's my fireworks moment: [Tell me—make me feel it]

Here's what independence means to me: [What does freedom actually look like?]

Here's where I'm still playing it safe: [Be real]

Here's who my crew actually is: [Your people, your tribe]

Don't hold back. Help me see what's possible and light the fireworks.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you stop being a spectator in your own life and start being the main event.

By the end, you’ll have:

• A crystal-clear memory of what freedom feels like

• Your own definition of independence (unapologetic, real, yours)

• Spots where you’re still dimming your light (and permission to stop)

• Your actual crew mapped out (are you with them enough?)

• One summer move that’s going to light you up

WHY THIS MATTERS

Real independence isn’t lonely. It’s loud. It’s joyful. It’s standing in a backyard with your people, no filter, no performance, just YOU. Fully lit.

Most guys spend their whole summer in the stands watching other people’s fireworks when they could be setting off their own.

Not this year.

This summer, you get to ask: Am I living like I’m free? Am I being myself? Am I with my people? Am I setting off fireworks or just watching?

If anything’s a “no”—we’re fixing it.

Run this prompt. Light it up. Show your people what you’re made of.

Drop one firework move you’re making this summer. Let’s see who’s actually living.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Independence Tastes Like Cold Beer & Brotherhood

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

What We Stand For

Watch & Listen I Proud to Be an American by Lee Greenwood

This song has hit me right in the heart for as long as I can remember.

I grew up in the 80s. Back then, a flag in the yard meant something simple. It wasn’t a side. It wasn’t a slogan. It was just pride.

Somewhere along the way, patriotism changed.

My father was a First Sergeant in the Army Reserves. Every other weekend, I got to experience firsthand what it actually takes to defend a country.

• How to find a land mine.

• How to live on an MRE.

• How to stand up straight and mean it when you call yourself an American.

He wanted to serve in Desert Storm and Iraq, but never got the call.

Instead, he bought me Desert Storm trading cards, and we sat together and went through them one by one. The Stealth Bomber was my favorite. I can still see it.

That is where patriotism began, at the 330th Infantry in Norristown, PA, alongside my father.

The Stranger at Ellis Island

On my mom’s side, my great-grandmother, Tekla Sas, came over from Poland in the early 1900s. She worked for months to earn her way to America by way of Ellis Island, in the bottom of a boat, next to the steerage.

When she finally arrived, no one was there to meet her. Her sister had gone into labor that very day. Neither her sister nor her husband could come.

So she stood there. Alone. In a country that did not yet know her name.

Then she heard a man calling out. “Agnieszka. Agnieszka.” He was searching the crowd for his niece and could not find her. Tekla made him a deal. She was not his Agnieszka, but he was an honest man, and he agreed to bring her through. He vouched for a stranger. He let her in, moments away from being sent back.

Without that one kind soul, I would not be writing this today.

Years later, every Fourth of July, our family came together to celebrate Tekla’s daughter’s, my grandmother Doppie’s birthday. We called her Doppie because my sister couldn’t say grandmother in Polish, ‘babci,’ when she was younger.

So independence means more to me than a long weekend.

I don’t come from wealth. I worked for every dollar I’ve earned, and I put myself through Penn State, so independence carries a lot of meaning for me.

• It is the right to speak freely.

• It is the chance to raise children in a world we get to help shape.

• It is the honor, at the end of the day, of calling ourselves United States citizens.

My great-grandmother arrived with nothing but a deal and a stranger's word. That is the country I still believe in. The one where nothing can become everything.

From 250 Years to 250 Seconds

It’s our 250th anniversary, and although our country is not perfect. No one is. But I’d rather honor what we have than take it for granted.

So here is my challenge to you this week.

Give yourself 250 seconds of silence to do three things.

• Remember the ones who came before you. The strangers. The soldiers. The grandmothers in steerage.

• Be grateful for the freedom you woke up with, the kind millions still pray for.

• Think about the legacy you are leaving behind, and whether it is worth inheriting.

Your 250 seconds are a small price to pay for your freedom.

Then go live like you mean it.

I am honored to be an American. I am proud to be on this journey with you.

Happy Fourth, and share your favorite July 4th song in the comments.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

• NatGeo’s Brain Games Boredom Busters for your kids

• Master the Morning by Dean Bokhari

• Pre-Order 52 Conversation Card Deck by Journey Deck

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

Share

The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
Substack | Apple Podcasts | Spotify

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

Be boring

by Dean Bokhari

I’ve noticed something interesting lately:

The moment we have a lull in our lives — the moment we feel the slightest tinge of boredom — most of us whip out our phones and start scrolling away.

• You’re at dinner with your wife, she goes to the bathroom, and you pull out your phone to keep yourself busy so you don’t look awkward as you sit there by yourself.

• You’ve got a few minutes to kill while you wait for your buddy to arrive for lunch, so you pull out your phone and catch up on emails.

• You’re waiting in line at the grocery store, so you open your favorite social media app - and the doom scrolling begins.

I’ve done it.

You’ve done it.

We’ve all done it.

But when your smartphone is the only thing you revert to when you feel “bored” — you rob yourself of so many beautiful gifts:

• The gift of having a nice conversation while you wait in line at the bank.

• The gift of a beautiful woman as she passes by.

• The gift of noticing your surroundings.

And most important of all: You rob yourself of the gift of an idea that could transform the trajectory of your entire life…

All because you were glued to your phone at every free moment you got.

I challenge you not to look at your phone the next time you’re waiting around feeling bored.

Embrace that boredom.

Make it useful.

Once you get over the withdrawals, you’ll notice that your brain starts teeming with new ideas.

Ideas you never would’ve gotten if you occupied your brain with all the bullshit behind that little screen in your pocket.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

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📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: Boredom

The silence isn’t empty. It’s where everything you need lives:

OK so, You’re bored.

Your first instinct? Fill it. Phone. App. Scroll. Noise. Distraction.

But here’s what you don’t know: Boredom isn’t a problem. It’s a signal.

When the noise stops, something shifts. Your mind stops performing and starts listening. Creativity surfaces. Clarity arrives. And sometimes—if you’re quiet long enough—you find the thing you’ve been walking past for years.

Most guys never get there. They grab the phone before the silence can speak.

But the silence isn’t empty. That’s where connection lives. That’s where ideas come from. That’s where you find yourself.

This prompt helps you sit with boredom long enough to discover what it’s actually trying to tell you.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I want to understand what my boredom is trying to tell me. Help me sit with it long enough to find what's actually there instead of filling it with noise.

Help me:

1. Recognize boredom as a signal (What is it saying?)
   - When do I feel bored? (Be specific—what's actually happening?)
   - What do I usually do when boredom hits? (Be honest about your first instinct)
   - What am I avoiding by filling the silence?
   - What would happen if I didn't reach for my phone?

2. Identify what emerges when I stop filling the void
   - When I sit with boredom instead of fighting it, what surfaces?
   - What ideas, thoughts, or feelings come up?
   - What have I been walking past for years that shows up in the quiet?
   - What story or project or conversation have I been circling?

3. Understand the difference between empty and quiet
   - Boredom feels empty. But what if it's actually full?
   - What lives in the silence that I've been too busy to hear?
   - What's the thing I've been afraid to think about that shows up when I'm not distracted?
   - How is boredom connected to creativity, clarity, or purpose?

4. Build a practice of sitting with silence
   - What's one time this week I can choose boredom instead of distraction?
   - How long can I sit with it without reaching for my phone? (Start small—5 minutes is enough)
   - What do I notice when I actually let the silence speak?
   - What emerges that wouldn't have otherwise?

5. Turn boredom into discovery
   - What's the real issue underneath my desire to fill the silence?
   - What am I trying not to feel or think about?
   - What would change if I let boredom teach me instead of fighting it?
   - What's the one thing that shows up in the quiet that I need to pay attention to?

Here's when I feel bored: [Describe when it happens and what you usually do]

Here's what I'm probably avoiding: [Be honest]

Here's what I hope to find in the silence: [What are you looking for?]

Don't let me rationalize filling the void. Help me sit with it long enough to hear what it's saying.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you reframe boredom from something to escape into something to listen to.

By the end, you’ll have:

• A clear understanding of what your boredom is signaling

• Awareness of what you’re avoiding by staying busy

• A concrete practice for sitting with silence

• Access to the ideas, clarity, and creativity that only show up in quiet

• A plan to turn boredom into discovery instead of distraction

WHY THIS MATTERS

Boredom isn’t the absence of connection. It’s the doorway to it.

When you stop filling every moment with noise, your mind stops performing and starts listening. Creativity surfaces. Clarity arrives. The purpose you’ve been too busy to hear finally gets a chance to speak.

Most guys never get here because they’re too afraid of the silence. They reach for their phone. They fill the void before it can speak.

But what if you didn’t? What if you sat with it long enough to discover what’s actually there?

That’s where the real stuff lives.

Run this prompt. Sit with the silence. Discover what emerges.

Drop one thing you discover when you sit with boredom instead of filling it. Let’s see what shows up in the quiet.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Boredom Is a Doorway

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

What You’ve Been Walking Past

Watch I You Need to Be Bored, By Arthur Brooks

Boredom isn’t a problem; it’s a signal.

When we stop filling every moment with noise, something shifts. The mind stops performing and starts listening. Creativity surfaces. Clarity arrives. And sometimes — if we’re quiet long enough — we find the thing we’ve been walking past for years.

Most of us never get there.
We grab the phone. Open the app. Fill the silence before it can speak.

But the silence isn’t empty.
It’s where connection lives.

Lessons from My Daughter

My wife and my oldest were recently away on a trip, and my youngest lasted twenty minutes before the verdict: “Dad, I’m bored.”

My answer? “Good.”

No iPad. No screens. Just sit with it.

She was not thrilled.

Then something happened.

• She built a fort.

• Created a unicorn.

• Made up games with rules that changed every five minutes.

Her boredom became a world.

I've seen the same thing happen with coaching clients. The moment the noise stops, the real stuff surfaces—the idea you've been circling, the story you've been afraid to tell, the purpose you've been too busy to hear.

Boredom isn’t the absence of connection.
It’s the doorway to it.

Here’s a question from our Journey Deck:

What’s one way you are of service to others?

Turn Boredom into Creation

Here’s my challenge for you:

Set a timer for 10 minutes.

• No phone.

• No music.

• No podcast.

• No distractions.

Just sit.

Keep a piece of paper nearby. If a thought comes up, write it down and return to being present.

When the timer ends, spend the next 10 minutes creating.

• Write something.

• Draw something.

• Build something.

• Call someone.

• Start something.

It doesn’t matter what you create, but only that you create.

Boredom isn’t the destination, but the bridge to your journey.

• From activity to stillness.

• From stillness to awareness.

• From awareness to creativity.

Try it this week and let us know what surfaced for you in the comments below.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

• NatGeo’s Brain Games Boredom Busters for your kids

• Master the Morning by Dean Bokhari

• Pre-Order 52 Conversation Card Deck by Journey Deck

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

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What kept you from taking action?

Often, we procrastinate because we’re overwhelmed and unclear about the goal or project we’ve got in front of us.

We think about EVERYTHING that goes into getting to the finish line.

We think about EVERYTHING we need to do to accomplish the goal or project.

Then we start doubting ourselves:

• “It’s too big.”

• “It’s too scary.”

• “It’s too vague.”

• “It’s too complex.”

• “It’s more than I can handle.”

• “It’s just too much to deal with right now.”

These are some seriously demotivating thoughts…

It’s the kind of self-dialogue that can send you straight down Procrastination Avenue (which is right across from Rabbit Hole Road).

Wanna know how to overcome it and start taking action?

One of the most effective methods for doing that is called the next action method.

The key to this idea (as it applies to beating procrastination) is to figure out the very next doable action you can take to move the ball forward — be it a task, a project, a phone call, or whatever else.

Here’s how it works…

1.
Get clear about your outcome

Think of something you’ve been procrastinating… Maybe it’s a project – like finishing a presentation for work, or launching a new product.

Now, take a moment to identify the outcome you’re after by asking yourself one of the following questions:

1. What’s the result (or outcome) I’m after and why?

2. What does this project look like when it’s done?

Jot down your answer.

2.
Make it doable

Now, shift your focus to ONE SIMPLE thing you can do right away to get yourself even the tiniest bit toward the outcome you identified in Step 1 above.

Make sure it’s something you can do immediately—or within the next 24 hrs—to move this project closer to completion.

Think of just one single, simple, small, and DOABLE action you can take to get this project closer to DONE…

Write it down. Even if you think it’ll barely move the needle. Doing something is better than doing nothing.

• For example, maybe you need to google some images to include in your presentation—that’s doable, right?

3.
Make it your next action

Did you identify a doable action you can take today?

If yes, I’m sending virtual high-fives your way!

Now, you’ve got your Next Action—something small, specific, and simple you can do today to make progress on your goal or project.

By the way, the rationale behind the Next Action Method is simple: When you do something your mind perceives as DOABLE, your energy increases, and your sense of direction and drive increase dramatically…

This clears the way for you to overcome procrastination and start taking action.

Bottom line: Next time you feel like procrastinating, just figure out the next specific action you’re willing to take in order to move yourself closer to completion. Then DO IT.

Even if it’s something as small as opening KeyNote or PowerPoint and naming your presentation.

It may not seem like much, but it’s something—and you can build from that.

4.
Create next actions for every project

The Next Action Method isn’t just a great way to kill procrastination.

It’s also an excellent (and super simple) way to keep track of every project on your plate.

Get a Next Action Tablet from 125Method™ (paper-based) or download the Next Action Worksheet (members only) below to create a Next Action plan for as many projects or goals as you’d like.

Next Action Worksheet

Gents Journey members—click or tap below to download your Next Action Worksheet.

Be sure to save multiple copies so you can use it for all your projects.

It’s also fillable, which means you can type directly into the fields on any device—desktop, laptop, phone, or tablet.

Read more

SECTION 1: THE VISION

Back in January, you dreamed about summer. Beach days. Barbecues. Family time. The feeling of the sun and long days. This video is about getting clear on what you actually want—not what you think you should want, but what makes you smile.

SECTION 2: THE MOVES

Now you know what you want. But knowing and doing are different things. Most guys know what they want but never take the first move. This video is about turning your vision into reality with small, intentional actions.

Read more

In this short, personal episode, our co-founder Steve Seidel cuts through the Father's Day noise. It's the weekend a lot of guys spend stressing over the perfect gift—and Seidel makes the case that they're chasing the wrong thing entirely. The real gift isn't something you wrap. It's showing up.

Seidel shares personal Phillies memories with his late father, Steve Sr. — Harry Kalas on the mic, an A-Treat soda in hand, and Pops with his cheap "Archie Bunker beers." It was never really about baseball, but his father giving him his hard-earned time.

Whether it's with your children or your own father, we rarely remember the expensive gift — we remember the moments before, during, and after.

The catch, the laugh, or the ride home. That's what stays. And that's what this episode is really about.

Key Takeaways & Topics Discussed

• Be present, not perfect. Kids remember presence, not presents. Time is the only gift that appreciates.

• More is caught than taught. Your kids are watching how you show up far more than they’re listening to what you say.

• The window closes. For your own dad, the fancy watch doesn’t matter — being with you does.

Don’t wait for the right moment.

The “good times” are here and now, as time with him is fleeting, and it’s up to you to seize the day, burn the ships, and live in the moment.

How to Show Up on Father’s Day and Beyond

• Pick the shared experience you loved most — a ballgame, fishing, or the grill.

• Put the phone down and protect one block of real time.

• Call your dad or a family member and tell them one small thing that shaped you.

About Our Host: Steve Seidel

Steve Seidel is a Connection Engineer — a trained Industrial Engineer turned TEDx speaker, brand strategist, leadership coach, and Co-Founder of Gents Journey who has spent 30 years building things before the world had a name for them.

Learn more + connect:

• Website: StephenSeidel.com

• Substack: https://substack.com/@iamstephenseidel

• Instagram: @stephenseidel

• Email: Steve@theseidelagency.com

Join the Journey

Ready to find your safety net and join the conversation? Gents Journey is the ultimate learning hub and social club for men.

We believe in growth, brotherhood, and becoming the best man you can be.

Visit us at: gentsjourney.co

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

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📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

Note to dad

My father is the kind of man who will quietly do something special for you, and surprise you with it when you least expect it.

He’s been that way all my life.

A few years ago, my dad handed me a massive binder.

It weighed several pounds and looked like a wedding album.

When I opened it, the first thing I saw was a photo of my hand on the day I was born.

On the opposite page, right beside the photo, I saw a little bracelet taped onto the page.

It was the original hospital bracelet I wore as a newborn.

That was the first page of an album filled with hundreds of photos, memories, and accomplishments — from the day I took my first breath, all the way into my 30s.

My father had been quietly collecting things and adding them to this “life album” throughout my entire life…

And I had no clue he was doing it until he presented me with the album just a few years ago.

I often share how my initial exposure to personal development was through books.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that it wasn’t the self help books that got me started; it was my dad.

Here’s a powerful parenting lesson I’ve learned since becoming a dad myself:

When it comes to raising children, a lot more is caught than taught.

In other words:

Don’t tell your kids what to do, show them.

My father knew this instinctively.

He didn’t teach me self-discipline. He showed me…

• He showed me how to live with integrity and principle.

• He showed me how a man’s word—his promise—is everything.

• He showed me how to navigate life with a sense of deep trust and reliance on God.

He’s been showing me things all my life, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

Being a dad is a privilege; having one is a gift.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

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📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: Father’s Day

The best dad moments happen in the backyard with the people you love.

There’s something about summer that just hits different.

Screen door in July. Smoke from the grill. Kids running around. A cold drink in your hand (beer, iced tea, lemonade—whatever you’re into). Baseball on the radio. The smell of charcoal. Laughter. Easy conversation. No agenda. Just time.

That’s fatherhood at its best.

Not the Instagram version where you’re doing everything perfect. But the real version. The one where your kid puts their hand on your shoulder while you’re flipping burgers. Where you teach them something without trying. Where they remember the way you smelled like sunscreen and charcoal. Where they felt like they belonged.

This prompt helps you figure out what kind of dad memories you’re actually building—and how to make more of them this summer.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I want to think about fatherhood differently this Father's Day. Not about being perfect, but about the moments and memories I'm actually creating. Help me figure out what kind of summer—what kind of dad—I want to be.

Help me:

1. Picture your best dad moment (The one you still remember)
   - What's a moment with your dad (or a father figure) that you still think about?
   - What made it matter? (What was happening? Who was there? How did you feel?)
   - What did he do that made you feel seen, loved, or like you belonged?
   - What would you give to have one more moment like that?

2. Audit what you're actually building right now
   - What are the summer moments you're creating with your kids?
   - Are you present, or are you just there?
   - What are they going to remember about you from this summer?
   - What moments are you creating that they'll think about when they're older?

3. Identify the simple dad moves that matter most
   - When do your kids feel closest to you? (Playing? Cooking? Just hanging out?)
   - What's the small thing you do that makes them light up?
   - What activity or ritual could you start this summer that becomes "your thing"?
   - What's worth putting the phone down for?

4. Design your summer as a dad
   - What's one backyard tradition you want to start? (BBQs? Baseball? Just hanging?)
   - What's one trip or experience you want to do with them?
   - What's one skill or story you want to pass down?
   - How much unstructured time can you protect just for them?

5. Become the dad you wish you had (Or double down on being the dad you had)
   - If your dad was absent or difficult, what do you want to do differently?
   - If your dad was present and loving, what's one thing of his you want to keep doing?
   - What's the legacy you're building? What do you want them to say about you?
   - How do you show up this summer in a way that matters?

Here's my best dad memory: [Describe it—yours or one you wish you had]

Here's what I want my kids to remember about me: [Be specific]

Here's what summer could look like: [Paint the picture]

Don't let me overcomplicate this. Help me see what actually matters and how to build it.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you move past “being a good dad” to actually building the memories that matter.

By the end, you’ll have:

• A clear picture of what made fatherhood meaningful to you

• Awareness of what you’re actually creating right now

• Simple dad moves that matter most

• A summer plan that’s realistic and rich

• A legacy you’re building, not just trying

WHY THIS MATTERS

Kids don’t remember perfection. They remember presence.

They don’t remember the expensive gift. They remember the summer night when you taught them how to grill. When you told them a story. When you put the phone down. When you showed up.

This summer is happening whether you’re intentional about it or not. The question is: what are you building?

Run this prompt. Design your summer. Build the memories.

Drop one backyard moment you’re planning this summer. Let’s see who shows up like they mean it.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Dad Energy All Summer Long

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

The Voices That Stay With Us I Watch Harry Kalas Impression

When Phillies legend Harry Kalas passed away, I recorded this tribute and impression in his honor. Please forgive the quality, as this was 15+ years ago, and got lots of hater comments, lol.

For me, Harry was synonymous with watching the Phils alongside my Dad.

Sometimes it’s funny how a voice can transport you back decades in an instant.

Not just to a place, but to a person. And for the Phillies and me, it’s my dad.

And when we lost Harry, it felt like I lost a piece of us.

Baseball was Our Canvas

Father’s Day has a way of bringing these moments back to the surface.

I can still see him showing up at Little League in his work suit and cowboy boots.

Looking back, I realize it wasn’t baseball that connected us. It was just being there.

Our dads showed up. They taught us lessons without realizing it. They made us feel seen. They gave us their time — still the most valuable thing a father can give.

A friend once told me, “You’re never really a man until you lose your dad.”

At the time, I didn’t understand. Now, six years after his passing, I do.

The Greatest Gift He Gave Me

Together we used to watch the Phillies on Channel 29. Mike Schmidt was my favorite player. I’d have an A-Treat Black Cherry soda. He’d crack one of his cheap beers — he called them his “Archie Bunkers.”

Harry Kalas and Robin Roberts on the mic. Pure poetry in motion.

But what I remember most isn’t the baseball.

It’s that he’d always show up with something — a pack of Donruss, Topps, or Upper Deck cards, or the morning newspaper left on the counter before I was even awake.

You see, gift-giving was his love language. He didn’t say I love you in words. He said it by showing up, thinking of me, and spending time one-on-one.

Now that he’s gone, sometimes I’ll turn on a Phillies game, and I’m right back there — the two of us hand-selecting A-Treat sodas from the case, carrying them home like treasure. Watching Kent Tekulve hold court at Veterans Stadium.

The ordinary moments become the ones we miss the most.

The greatest gift a father gives is his time.

The feeling that no matter what happened in the world, someone was in your corner.

Here’s a question for you: How do you feel when you think about your Dad?

Stop rushing past your moments.

And if your father is still with you, please reach out to him and tell him that one thing that seemed little in your mind, but shaped your world.

Don’t wait for the right moment. This is it.

Happy Father’s Day.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

Last week, we polled you about our book club, and here are the results.

Want in? Commit to joining us now.

JOIN OUR BOOK CLUB: https://www.gentsjourney.co/survey/7676625

• The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

• Master the Morning by Dean Bokhari

• Pre-Order 52 Conversation Card Deck by Journey Deck

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

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Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

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📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

Develop the vocabulary of a big thinker

by Dean Bokhari

For today’s column, I’m repurposing an installment of a recent challenge I put on for my personal development publication on Substack, which is called, Club 12. This one’s all about how the words you use can shape your brain—for better or for worse. Enjoy. (Note: If you’d like to see the video version of this article, you can check it out here.)

What would happen if I took a small needle and casually tossed it in your direction? It would bounce off your chest and fall to the floor and you probably wouldn’t feel a thing.

Now, what would happen if I took that same needle, positioned it over your heart, and nailed it against your chest with a hammer?

That needle would pierce right through your chest.

That’s what words can do when you wield them with intention, with emotion, and with purpose.

The words you use can shape your mental strength.

“Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?” — Jalāl al-Dīn Muḥammad Rumi

I’d add one more “gate” to that Rumi quote above: Is it helpful?

Choose your words wisely.

Because the words you use on a consistent basis can quite literally change the shape your brain¹ — either strengthening your mentality, or making it weaker.

They way you wield your words can also have an influence on your happiness, your relationships, and your finances—or lack thereof.

If you want to develop a strong, success-oriented mindset, it’s worth it to be mindful of the language you’re using — both in your head as well as in your conversations.

People who’ve conditioned themselves to become mentally strong speak an entirely different language than the majority of people do…

They use optimistic, growth-focused language with possibility-driven words.

Bottom line:

• Small thinkers use language that shrink situations.

• Big thinkers use language that expand possibilities.

You and I don’t think in words, we think in visuals, in pictures and images…

For example:

• If I say, “Rumi’s new house is beautiful,” it would paint one picture in your mind.

• If I say, “Rumi’s new house looks like a beachfront resort,” it would paint a completely different picture.

The visuals we see are modified by the words we use to describe things.

Your mind is a canvas. Your mouth is the paintbrush. Your words are the paint.

Be mindful of the colors you choose, so you can paint something magnificent.

Here are some phrases that create negative mental visuals vs phrases that create positive mental visuals:

Read more

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

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📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

Gettin gritty with it

A man with grit is a man that possesses an indomitable spirit.

He shows courage, mental toughness, and refuses to give up.

In psychology, grit is defined as a powerful combination of passion and perseverance toward long-term goals

So, here’s the big question:

How do you develop grit as a man?

Allow me to break it down for you, my fellow gent.

By the time you’ve finished this first column of the Gents Weekly, you’ll know how to build prime Hugh-Jackman-as-Wolverine-level grit.

Let’s get into it.

In her book, Grit, author Angela Duckworth writes,

“in the simplest terms, this means that some of the variation in grit in the population can be attributed to genetic factors, and the rest can be attributed to experience.”

You may have inherited a touch of grit from mom and dad, or both.

But for the most part, according to researchers, any grit you might be blessed with is negligible in comparison to:

• the experiences you have,

• the failures you experience,

• and the people around you.

But your grit also changes over time – as you grow and adapt to challenges.

It’s also constantly impacted by the culture you’re surrounded by.

There are four traits that gritty men have in common:

1. Interest — Gritty men have an interest and a passion in what they do.

2. Practice — Their deep interest leads to deep practice; the daily discipline of doing things better than we did yesterday.

3. Purpose — A belief in the meaning of the work.

4. Hope — The last trait is hope, the optimistic belief in engaging in every stage regardless of setbacks. You can grow your grit from the inside out.

Here’s how to translate these traits into something you can apply in your day to day life:

INTEREST + PASSION

Spend more time doing things you’re interested in and passionate about. If you can swing it, it’s ideal to spend most of your time doing something you’re deeply interested in. But if that’s not the case for you—if you think your life is boring and uninteresting; if you don’t have anything you’re passionate about, let me let you in on a little secret: passion isn’t found, it’s cultivated. You don’t wake up one day and fucking stumble upon your passion. You’ve got to bring it with you. Passion is a state of mind. And you can infuse everything you do with it.

PRACTICE + DISCIPLINE

Whatever you spend most of your time doing, bring depth to it. Develop the discipline to get a little bit better each day… As a father and husband. As a son or student. At work and at home.

PURPOSE + MEANING

Become a more purposeful man. I decided a long time ago not to do anything that doesn’t align with my purpose, which is: to inspire and empower as many people as I possibly can to achieve their goals and improve their lives. That’s my purpose, my WHY, or whatever else you want to call it. Your purpose is something that lights you up — it’s the mission or a cause you care about most. It’s something you find especially meaningful. If you aren’t clear about yours, clarify it now.

HOPE + OPTIMISM

Lastly, grit requires optimism. If you’re not hopeful about your future, it’ll be hard to move through life—especially as a man. And guess what? Becoming hopeful and optimistic is a choice. Plain and simple. If you want to become a happier, healthier, more optimistic man, then CHOOSE to be. Right here. Right now. Today, tomorrow, and always.

Stay gritty gents,

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

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📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: GRIT

Talent gets you started. GRIT gets you finished.

Everyone starts with big dreams and motivation. The gym on January 1st. The business idea on Sunday night. The project you swore you’d finish this time.

But motivation fades. Talent hits a ceiling. Life gets hard.

And that’s when most people quit.

GRIT is what separates the ones who finish from the ones who just talk about it.

This prompt helps you figure out where you’re quitting when things get hard—and how to build the grit to push through anyway.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I want to build real GRIT—not just motivation, but the ability to keep going when it gets hard, boring, or painful. Help me figure out where I'm quitting and how to push through.

Help me:

1. Identify where I quit when things get hard
   - What have I started but never finished?
   - What goal have I set multiple times but never followed through on?
   - Where do I give up when it stops being fun or easy?
   - What's the pattern? (Do I quit when I hit a plateau? When I'm tired? When no one's watching?)

2. Figure out what I need GRIT for right now
   - What's the ONE thing I'm working on that I keep wanting to quit?
   - Why does it matter? What happens if I quit? What happens if I finish?
   - What's hard about it right now? (Be specific—not "it's hard," but what exactly is making me want to quit?)

3. Understand the difference between motivation and GRIT
   - When am I relying on motivation (which fades) vs. systems (which don't)?
   - What do I do on the days when I don't feel like doing it?
   - How do I show up when no one's watching, no one's cheering, and no one cares?

4. Build a GRIT system (How to keep going when I want to quit)
   - What's my daily non-negotiable? (The ONE thing I do every day no matter what)
   - What's my "minimum viable effort" on bad days? (What's the smallest version of showing up?)
   - How do I track progress so I can see I'm moving forward even when it feels slow?
   - Who's my accountability partner? (Someone who won't let me quit)
   - What's my reminder for WHY I'm doing this when it gets hard?

5. Prepare for the moments I want to quit
   - What excuses do I make when I want to quit? (Write them down now)
   - What's my response to each excuse? (Pre-decide so I don't rationalize quitting)
   - What do I tell myself on the days I don't want to show up?
   - What's my "fuck it, let's go" moment when quitting feels easier?

Here's what I'm working on right now: [Describe the goal/project/habit]

Here's where I keep quitting: [Be honest about the pattern]

Here's why it matters: [Why can't I quit this time?]

Don't let me make excuses. Build me a system to keep going when talent quits.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to force you to face where you quit and why. It’s going to help you build a system so you show up even when you don’t feel like it.

By the end, you’ll have:

• A clear picture of where you quit and why

• A system to keep going when motivation fades

• A daily non-negotiable action

• Pre-written responses to your own excuses

• Accountability built in

WHY THIS MATTERS

Talent gets you started. GRIT gets you finished.

Most guys have talent. Most guys have good ideas. Most guys start strong.

But when it gets hard, boring, or painful? When no one’s watching? When the progress slows down?

That’s when talent quits. And GRIT takes over.

The question isn’t whether you’re talented. It’s whether you have the grit to finish what you started.

Drop one thing you’re committing to finishing no matter what. Let’s see who has the grit to follow through.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
GRIT: When Talent Quits

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

Watch | Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

In the TED Talk above, psychologist Angela Duckworth shares a powerful insight: success is not determined by talent or IQ alone — it’s driven by GRIT.

The people who succeed are often the ones who keep showing up.

The cadet who doesn’t quit.
The student who keeps studying.
The entrepreneur who keeps building after rejection.

GRIT is passion and perseverance for long-term goals. It’s the ability to keep moving forward when things get hard, uncomfortable, or uncertain.

Because life isn’t a sprint. It’s a marathon. Like Nemo said, “Just keep swimming.”

Survival Mode vs. Intentional Living

When I was laid off from my first job at Motorola as an engineer, I made a decision that confused a lot of people: I pursued acting.

For more than 10 years, I struggled.

I eventually made it to Los Angeles with around $100 in my bank account, living in a 300-square-foot half-studio apartment where rent was my biggest nemesis. I worked odd jobs. Auditioned constantly and heard “no” more times than I could count.

But I refused to stop. As Angela shared above, I just kept showing up.

I had goals I wanted to achieve, and I literally wrote them on my walls.

Because I believed if I wrote them down and worked toward them relentlessly, God, the universe, or whatever force you believe in would begin conspiring to help make them happen.

And slowly, one by one, they did.

This past year, 15 years later, I checked off the final goal on that wall and sold a TV show based on my true crime podcast, Wolves Among Us — the story of a drug-dealing dentist from Philadelphia — starring Colin Jost.

That dream once lived on a wall, and I never stopped pursuing it because I learned to see every rejection not as a “no,” but simply as a “not yet.”

Here’s a question from our Journey Deck for you to comment on:
What has failure taught you?

The Power of GRIT: Gratitude, Resilience, Integrity & Trust

Hopefully, you’ve realized by now that failure doesn’t really exist. It’s just another step toward building your future and strengthening your story.

That’s why I like to think of GRIT as:

Gratitude
Resilience
Integrity
Trust

When you move through life with GRIT — trusting that everything happens for a reason — you eventually land exactly where you’re supposed to be.

I bet you’ve had GRIT recently, too.

Maybe in your marriage.
At work.
Through heartbreak.
Through loss.
Through rebuilding your life when you didn’t think you could.

But you kept going.

And that matters.

Drop a comment below about a moment where you didn’t think you’d make it through — but did anyway through GRIT and determination.

And I’ll leave you with this: as a Philly guy, we’re known for being underdogs with perseverance. So maybe it’s no coincidence our wild and steadfast Flyers mascot is named Gritty.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

• Honor the Fallen Soldiers in your Life with a Flag Holder

• Master the Morning by Dean Bokhari

• Pre-Order 52 Conversation Card Deck by Journey Deck

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

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The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

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Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Subscribe now

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

How to build a healthy morning routine

A healthy morning routine has four core components: (1) physical, (2) mental, (3) emotional, and (4) spiritual. These are the four sources of energy that each of us is born with.

Think of these four core components as wheels on a car:

When all four wheels are in good shape, the tires are evenly inflated, and all have good tread depth – the car runs like a dream.

But if you catch a flat or let your tires go bald – you’ll be in for a bumpy ride.

That’s how I like to look at life:

If I want to thrive, I’ve got to ensure I’m taking care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

If I neglect just one of these four core sources of energy, I won’t be able to perform at my peak consistently.

And for me, that would be unacceptable.

So, I developed a healthy morning ritual that helps me grow (or maintain) in each of the four dimensions.

Here’s what it looks like:

1. The Physical Component

Unleash your physical energy—nourish and activate your body to prime it for a successful day.

Examples to help you create a healthy morning routine:

• Drink a liter of water immediately upon rising

• Walk outside

• Exercise

• Jump up and down to wake your body up

2. The Mental Component

It’s just as important to exercise your brain as it is to exercise your body. Learn something new or do at least one thing each morning to sharpen your mind.

Examples to help you create a healthy morning routine:

• Read

• Work on a puzzle for a few minutes

• Do something that challenges you to stretch your mind

3. The Emotional Component

This is about addressing your emotional and social needs by checking in with yourself and connecting with people you care about.

Examples to help you create a healthy morning routine:

• Start your day by asking yourself, “How do I want to feel today?” Then answer the question in your mind, or journal it on paper.

• Envision a successful day ahead. How would you like to feel today? What kind of emotional energy do you want to bring to your work, to the people you interact with? Imagine every outcome you have planned for the day as working in your favor.

• Connect with someone you care about.

4. The Spiritual Component

Unleash your spiritual energy by doing something that allows you to reconnect to your purpose, your faith, or your Why.

Examples to help you create a healthy morning routine:

• Meditation

• Prayer

• Think of three specific things or people in your life that you’re grateful for — and truly allow yourself to feel it. To cultivate a sense of intense gratitude is a powerful spiritual experience.

Create Your Own Healthy Morning Routine

Use my PIESpread framework to create a healthy morning routine of your own.

• PQ: Physical energy—What’s one thing you can do each morning to activate your physical energy?

• IQ: Mental energy—What’s one thing you can do each morning to activate your mental energy?

• EQ: Emotional energy—What’s one thing you can do each morning to activate your emotional energy?

• SQ: Spiritual energy—What’s one thing you can do each morning to activate your spiritual energy?

P.I.E.S.

☝️ Use this acronym to remind yourself of each of the four core sources of energy you need to rise and thrive—each and every day.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

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📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: Morning Routines

How you start the day determines how you live it.

Most guys don’t have a morning routine. They have a morning scramble.

Hit snooze. Check phone. Scroll. Panic. Rush. Coffee. Out the door. Surviving, not thriving.

And then they wonder why they feel behind all day.

Your morning sets the tone for everything. If you start reactive, you stay reactive. If you start intentional, you stay intentional.

This prompt helps you build a morning routine that actually works—not the Instagram version with 47 steps, but something simple, sustainable, and designed to set you up for success in every area of life.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I want to build a morning routine that sets me up for success—not something complicated, just something that works. Help me figure out what to add, what to subtract, and how to make my mornings actually matter.

Help me:

1. Audit my current morning (Be brutally honest)
   - What does my morning actually look like right now? (Walk me through it minute by minute)
   - When do I wake up? What's the first thing I do?
   - How much time do I waste? (Phone scrolling, hitting snooze, etc.)
   - How do I feel by the time I leave the house? (Rushed? Calm? Stressed? Ready?)
   - Am I setting myself up to win the day, or am I already behind?

2. Identify what I need to SUBTRACT (Cut the bullshit)
   - What's draining my energy in the morning that doesn't serve me?
   - Phone scrolling? Snooze button? Skipping breakfast? Rushing? Chaos?
   - What habits are making my mornings harder instead of easier?
   - What do I need to stop doing immediately?

3. Identify what I need to ADD (Build what matters)
   - What would make me feel strong, focused, and ready for the day?
   - Do I need movement? (Workout, stretch, walk?)
   - Do I need stillness? (Meditation, journaling, quiet time?)
   - Do I need fuel? (Real breakfast, water, coffee ritual?)
   - Do I need planning? (Review my day, set priorities, clear my head?)
   - What ONE thing would change everything if I did it every morning?

4. Design my ideal morning routine (Keep it simple)
   - What time do I need to wake up to make this work?
   - What's my step-by-step routine? (Keep it under 60-90 minutes max)
   - What's non-negotiable? What's flexible?
   - How do I protect this time from distractions, kids, work, chaos?

5. Make it sustainable (Don't let me overcomplicate this)
   - What's realistic for my life right now? (Kids? Work schedule? Partner's routine?)
   - How do I start small and build up instead of trying to do everything at once?
   - What's my "minimum viable morning" on days when shit goes sideways?
   - How do I track this without obsessing?

Here's what my morning looks like right now: [Describe it honestly]

Here's how I want to feel by the time I start my day: [Paint the picture]

Don't let me build something I can't sustain. Make it simple, powerful, and realistic.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you strip down your morning to what actually matters. It’s going to show you what’s wasting your time and what would change everything if you added it.

By the end, you’ll have:

• A clear picture of what’s working and what’s not

• A list of habits to cut immediately

• A list of habits to add that actually move the needle

• A simple, sustainable morning routine (not a 2-hour Instagram fantasy)

• A backup plan for when life gets chaotic

WHY THIS MATTERS

How you start the day determines how you live it.

If you start reactive—phone first, snooze button, scrolling, rushing—you stay reactive all day. You’re behind before you even begin.

But if you start intentional—movement, stillness, fuel, focus—you show up differently. You handle stress differently. You make better decisions. You win more often.

Your morning is the only part of the day you fully control. Everything else? That’s life coming at you.

This prompt helps you take that control back.

Run this prompt. Build your morning. Win the day.

Drop one thing you’re adding or subtracting from your morning this week. Let’s see who shows up stronger.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Mornings Matter

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

Watch | The Optimal Morning Routine by Andrew Huberman

In the video above, Andrew Huberman explains something powerful: your morning routine doesn’t just start your day — it shapes your brain, energy, and focus.

The way you wake up matters.

How quickly you grab your phone, rush out the door, skip movement, or overload your mind with stress all impact how you show up for the rest of the day.

Survival Mode vs. Intentional Living

Which one are you: Gent A or Gent B?

Gent A lives in survival mode.

The alarm sounds, and he immediately jumps out of bed, already behind. He splashes water on his face while brushing his teeth, rushes to wake up the kids, throws on clothes, and watches the clock count down.

Tick. Tock. Tick.

Fifteen minutes and counting … to get out the door.

He runs downstairs and grabs whatever breakfast he can find — maybe a Pop-Tart, maybe nothing at all. Coffee becomes less of a pleasure and more of an emergency, whether from the kitchen or the nearest drive-through.

Before the day even begins, he’s exhausted.

Now he’s reactive. Dragged from one obligation to the next. Constantly putting out fires. Living inside a “busy” schedule he didn’t intentionally create for himself.

But Gent B?

Gent B begins intentionally.

His preparation starts the night before.

His clothes are already laid out. Breakfast is prepped. The coffee pot is filled and ready to brew. His phone is across the room so he has to physically get up instead of endlessly scrolling.

He reviewed his priorities the night before and knows exactly what the most important thing is to tackle first — before decision fatigue has a chance to creep in.

Then he starts his day with purpose.

Maybe it’s a walk. A workout. Stretching. Prayer. Gratitude. Sunlight. Movement that turns into motivation.

Because when you live intentionally, problems stop feeling like attacks and start feeling like opportunities guiding you toward growth.

He looks at the man he’s become in the mirror and says:
“Today is going to be a great day.”

Here’s a question from our Journey Deck: What’s one positive affirmation or mantra that you frequently use and why? Share and comment below.

Start Strong

So which one are you: Gent A or Gent B?

And if you’re closer to Gent A, where can you improve?

Tonight, try one small change: prep tomorrow’s clothes, write down your top priority, or place your phone across the room.

Small habits create momentum.
Momentum creates confidence.
Confidence changes lives.

How you start your morning shapes your growth, because as Robin Sharma says, “Own your morning. Elevate your life.”

Momentum isn’t accidental — it’s intentional. And that choice is yours to make every single day.

Let us know your morning routine, mindset shift, or favorite habit hack in the comments below.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

• Own Your Morning, Elevate Your Life, by Robin Sharma

• Master the Morning by Dean Bokhari

• Pre-Order 52 Conversation Card Deck by Journey Deck

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

Share

The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
Substack | Apple Podcasts | Spotify

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Subscribe now

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

How to create lasting change in life

I took off my shirt and stood in front of the mirror. At 19 years old, I was overweight and out of shape. I was sick of being chubby and soft. I was sick of feeling tired all the time. I was sick of having no confidence.

Truth be told, my whole life was a mess.

And I was sick of it.

I was sick of what I’d let myself become.

The worst part? I had done this to myself.

I, and I alone, was responsible for what I’d let myself become.

I had no one to blame but myself.

As I stood there in front of my mirror and looked at my soft, pudgy body, I felt disgusted with myself. I had man-boobs… man-boobs!

It was a painful feeling.

But something happened for me in that moment, something shifted…

I looked at myself and said out loud, “Enough is ENOUGH! It’s time to change!”

All my emotions welled-up inside me, and I kept yelling, “Enough is enough!”

I was ready to take on the challenge of changing my physical state.

That night, I decided to change.

I knew it would be hard. I knew it would be painful.

But in that moment, I also knew that I could do it.

And eventually, I did.

17 years later, I still remember that moment, because it taught me that I was capable of doing anything—but it was up to me.

Now, whenever I’m faced with challenges, trials and tribulations, rather than complaining about them or allowing the victim-mentality to take hold, I choose to believe this challenge is here to help me become better.

I choose to believe there’s a better version of me on the other side of every challenge I’m forced to deal with.

And once I decide to use my problem as an opportunity to learn what I’m made of—rather than an opportunity to complain and wallow in my own misery—a powerful, two-part shift occurs:

1: The first part of this shift is mental: on the other side of this problem, there’s a better version of me. This first mental shift then leads to shift number two…

2: The second part of this shift is physical, which says: ‘Now that I know this problem/pain/challenge is an opportunity to grow, what are the ACTIONS I need to take to make that growth happen?’

It takes the same amount of energy to stress yourself out thinking about your problems as it does to make a definite decision to DO something about them…

Deciding to fix your problems will move you towards an eventual solution—if you take action.

But thinking about why you don’t have what you want, or wondering why bad things “always” happen to you, will get you nowhere but backward.

Problems are a good thing.
Solving them makes you happy.

Now, here’s the exact 4-step formula for creating lasting changes in any area of your life…

Read more

In this powerful episode, Dean, Stephen, and Matt sit down with Andrew Reiner—author of Better Boys, Better Men—to unpack the complex, often contradictory world of modern masculinity. From the deep-seated fears fathers face when raising sons to the subconscious ways society conditions boys to bury their emotions, this conversation cuts straight to the core of what it means to be a man today.

Andrew shares profound personal stories—from a liberating moment of vulnerability on a cross-country flight to finding a deeper connection in a medium-security prison’s men’s group than he had with friends of decades. The gents also explore the dangerous “gap” between the traditional “man up” mentality and the modern push for hyper-vulnerability, ultimately pointing to a life-changing solution: the necessity of men finding their emotional “safety net.”

If you are a father, a son, or a man trying to navigate your own emotional landscape, this episode is a must-listen.

Key Takeaways & Topics Discussed

• The “Man Up” Paradox: Matt highlights the confusing gap men face today—caught between the outdated “pick yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality and the pressure to wear their hearts on their sleeves.

• The Airplane Epiphany: Andrew shares a defining moment from his twenties when he openly sobbed while reading a sad novel on a flight. Instead of hiding it, he realized that allowing himself to be seen in a state of raw emotion was incredibly liberating.

• Fear of Fatherhood: Andrew opens up about his initial terror upon finding out he was having a son. He discusses the heavy “baggage” of masculinity and the immense pressure of raising a boy intentionally in a culture that often works against male emotional health.

• A Father’s Strength in Vulnerability: Stephen shares a touching story about watching E.T. with his son and breaking down in tears, proving that true strength includes modeling healthy emotional expression for the next generation.

• The Science of Conditioning: Andrew breaks down landmark 2017 research by Dr. Edward Tronick, revealing that fathers and mothers subconsciously treat infant and toddler boys differently than girls—often offering less emotional “succor” and physical comfort to boys when they cry, while showing more positive neurological responses to their daughters’ smiles.

• The “Safety Net” Imperative: Why boys and men so often turn to their female friends or partners for emotional support, fearing judgment from their male peers. Andrew stresses that the most important thing men can do is find a safe space—a men’s group or a “safety net”—where they can be transparent without fear of their “man card” being revoked.

Notable Quotes

“I didn’t almost want people to see me crying because there was something about it that just felt really liberating.” – Andrew Reiner

“Strength is crying... and strength is also being able to chop wood, both metaphorically and literally.” – Stephen Seidel

“I feel closer to these guys in this prison I just met than I do to guys I’ve been friends with for decades... This is revolutionary for a lot of guys, because we don’t think we’ve got permission to do it.” – Andrew Reiner

About Our Guest: Andrew Reiner

Andrew Reiner is an author, researcher, and professor who writes extensively on masculinity and the emotional lives of men and boys.

Learn more + connect:

• Book: Better Boys, Better Men by Andrew Reiner

• Instagram: @andrew.reiner.author

• Email: areiner@towson.edu

Join the Journey

Ready to find your safety net and join the conversation? Gents Journey is the ultimate learning hub and social club for men.

We believe in growth, brotherhood, and becoming the best man you can be.

Visit us at: gentsjourney.co

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

ANNOUNCING

The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
Substack | Apple Podcasts | Spotify

Subscribe now

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

Mother’s day

Mother's Day is this Sunday, May 10.

Here’s a list of unique gifts for momma dukes and/or the wife.

1. Tell Me Your Life Story, Mom: A Mother’s Guided Journal and Memory Keepsake Book

If you’re looking for a thoughtful way to capture your mother’s life story, this is a great way to do it. The prompts in this journal/book make it easy to fill out. And eventually, it becomes a family keepsake. This is an intentional gift that’ll help her preserve those random and everyday stories that would otherwise get lost and forgotten about.

2. A Recorded Video from Your Kids

One of our co-founders, Stephen, shared this idea in a meeting recently:

Record a video of each of your kids talking about why they love their mom and/or grandma (or have them share three things they’re grateful for about her).

Then, present it or play the video for her on Mother’s Day.

Brownie points if you pair it with breakfast in bed.

3. Jo Malone Candles

Jo Malone makes some of the best damn candles I’ve ever smelled and they’ve got a million options to choose from. My favorite is their “Orange Blossom” (I get it for the wife sometimes while secretly enjoying it for myself.)

I’m sure you can find a good one for mom.

4. Edible Arrangements

This is my go-to Mother’s Day gift. Especially when I can’t think of something better to give my mom and wife.

5. StoryWorth

This is a cool one. StoryWorth is a service that’ll email weekly storytelling prompts to mom for a year and then compile her written memories and photos into a professionally bound hardcover book.

Here’s how it works:

1. You choose from a series of weekly questions that spark memories and inspire her to share stories and photos.

2. StoryWorth emails the prompts to her, and all she has to do is reply to the email.

3. 12 months later, you’ll have all her stories preserved in a book you can read, reread and pass down.

Makes for a great Mother’s Day gift - especially if you think she’d be into sharing her story.

6. 1-2-5 Method Stationery

Women love premium stationery. And if she’s a list-maker, a productivity nerd, or just appreciates luxury productivity tools, then look no further than 1-2-5 Method. She’ll appreciate the ultra-premium paper and card stock they use for all their products. All made in California, USA.

Top picks for Mother’s Day:

• Time Blocking Planner Pads

• Daily Productivity Cards.

7. Cameo

There’s this comedian my dad loves, named Maz Jobrani. A few years ago, my brother paid Jobrani to record a personalized Father’s Day message for our dad. He got a kick out of it and rewatched it at least a hundred times.

You can do the same thing for Mother’s Day with a site called Cameo, which features all sorts of notable folks — from Ric Flair to Snoop Dogg.

8. Wearable Blankets

This is a fun one. A full-on wearable blanket she can relax and lounge in.

9. Ferlind Nut-Milk Maker

Women—especially moms—absolutely love a good kitchen appliance.

Last year, I gave my wife the Ferlind 8-in-1 Nut Milk Maker for Mother’s Day so she can make her own almond milk. I kid you not when I tell you she’s used it almost every single week since I gave it to her.

10. Classic Mother’s Day gifts

If none of the above are a good fit, here are a few classics that you can’t go wrong with:

• Book a class for her: yoga, pilates, cooking, painting, etc.

• Take her to brunch or dinner. Make sure it’s her favorite place, not yours.

• Jewelry. If it’s meaningful, she’ll wear it forever and think of you every time.

• A 1-year subscription to a personal growth platform, like Masterclass, Club 12, or Gaia.

• Spa day. Call the place and book it for her, or get a gift card and let her enjoy it on her own time.

• Plan a day together that revolves around her interests: hiking, beach day, meditation, wine tasting, etc.

• Give her a self-care gift. Here are some great picks:

  • Luxury pillows

  • Skincare & makeup

  • Aromatherapy shower kit

  • Bath and Body Spa Basket

  • Perfume: OUAI Dean Street Eau de Parfum

  • The Kitsch Mother’s Day Luxury Self-Care bundle

• And last but not least: flowers. They’re the original, the classic, the Mother’s Day gift that never gets old… If you want to step it up a bit this year, look into “forever flowers” — I’ve been giving these to my mom and wife over the last few years. They last… FOREVER.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

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📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: Gentleman’s Guide to Mother’s Day

Who mothered you when you needed it most?

Mother’s Day isn’t just about your mom.

It’s about every woman who stepped in when you needed someone. The aunt who let you crash at her place when things were rough. The teacher who saw something in you. Your friend’s mom who fed you like you were hers. The neighbor who checked on you. The woman who didn’t give birth to you but showed up like she did.

This prompt helps you figure out who actually mothered you—and how to show up for them in a way that’s thoughtful, creative, and not just another Hallmark moment.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I want to make Mother's Day meaningful this year by acknowledging the women who actually mothered me—not just the traditional ones. Help me figure out who to show up for and how to do it in a way that's genuine, thoughtful, and not generic.

Help me:

1. Identify ALL the women who mothered me
   - My biological mother (if she's in my life)
   - My partner (if she's a mother to our kids)
   - Grandmother, mother-in-law, stepmom, aunt, older sister
   - A teacher, coach, mentor who showed up when I needed someone
   - A friend's mom who treated me like family
   - A neighbor, coworker, or stranger who stepped in at the right time
   - Anyone who played a maternal role, even briefly

2. Acknowledge complicated relationships honestly
   - If my relationship with my mom is strained, do I reach out anyway? What's genuine without being forced?
   - Who do I owe an acknowledgment to that I've never given?
   - Who shaped me that I've never thanked?

3. Figure out what would actually be meaningful to each woman
   - Not "what's expected"—what would surprise her in a good way?
   - Does she want time? A conversation? A letter? A favor? A story told about her?
   - What's she been meaning to do that she won't do for herself?
   - What would make her feel seen, not just appreciated?

4. Think outside the box—no Hallmark moves
   - Instead of flowers: What if I fixed the thing she's been complaining about?
   - Instead of brunch: What if I showed up and helped her with something she's been putting off?
   - Instead of a card: What if I wrote her a real letter about a specific moment she saved me?
   - Instead of a gift: What if I told my kids a story about her they've never heard?
   - Instead of one day: What if I started a habit that shows I'm paying attention year-round?

5. Create a specific action plan for each woman
   - Who am I reaching out to?
   - What am I doing? (Be specific—no vague "get her something nice")
   - When am I doing it? (Don't wait until the last minute)
   - What's the gesture that's uniquely her?

Here are the women who mothered me: [List them—be expansive, not just traditional]

Here's what I think would be meaningful: [Be creative]

Don't let me phone this in. Make me think bigger than flowers and brunch.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you see all the women who actually mothered you—not just the ones you’re “supposed” to acknowledge.

By the end, you’ll have:

• A full list of women who deserve recognition

• Creative, thoughtful gestures (not generic gifts)

• Specific actions for each person

• A way to show you’ve been paying attention all along

WHY THIS MATTERS

Mothering isn’t just biology. It’s the woman who saw you when no one else did. The one who fed you when you were hungry. The one who listened when you needed someone. The one who stepped in when your own mom couldn’t.

Those women deserve more than being forgotten because they’re not on a Hallmark list.

This isn’t about buying something. It’s about showing up. Telling the truth. Saying thank you for something you’ve never acknowledged.

That’s what Mother’s Day should be.

Run this prompt. Figure out who mothered you. Show up like you mean it.

Drop one woman you’re planning to acknowledge this Mother’s Day who isn’t your mom. Let’s expand the circle.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Raised by More Than One

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

Watch | A Powerful Message About a Mother’s Love

Be sure to subscribe to our Gents Journey YouTube channel

(Watch the video above first.)

Honoring Mom Before it’s Too Late

No matter how far you rise or fall — when you’re broken, bullied, and lost —

Your mother was the one who believed in you.

That’s not just love. That’s unconditional love. And it’s the most powerful force that’s ever carried you through this life.

She didn’t love the version of you that had it all figured out.

She loved you — the messy, unfinished, still-becoming version. That belief?

It’s the foundation of your life, and what you may now be building as a parent.

Own Your Story

Here’s a question from our Journey Deck: If your childhood bedroom could talk, what’s the first thing it would say?

Every man starts as a boy. The love you received, the patterns you absorbed, the struggles you witnessed, and the behaviors you inherited — they’re all still in there.

But what happens now? It’s on you.

Sunday, May 10th, is your chance to prove it.

Whether you have generational trauma or not, break the cycle. Be present. Love your wife and kids for exactly who they are — not who you need them to be.

Honor the past for the good and bad that have shaped you, as it’s all served its purpose.

Own it — then build something better with it.

Family is all we have.

Counting Your Moments

If you’re 45 and your mom is 65 or 70 — even if she lives to 80 and you see her twice a year — you have 20 to 30 visits left. Here’s Jesse Itzler breaking that down better than anyone.

Don’t let that time slip away.

Having lost my mother to cancer three years ago, I’d give anything for one more day, one more moment, one more memory. See how she changed my life in my TEDx talk.

That loss taught me one thing: don’t wait.

And do the same with the woman who gave you the greatest gift of all — fatherhood.

Your wife, your partner, the mother of your children, deserves that same love and attention every single day.

So here’s your takeaway: Call your mom. Call your wife. Call any woman who’s made an impact on your life and thank her for believing in you.

Then record a video. Tell her what she means to you. Send it — so she can watch it over and over again.

Together we raise each other higher.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

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What if?

Two words. That’s it. And they control everything.

Your anxiety. Your hope. Your future. Your present. The life you’re building or the life you’re avoiding.

Let me explain.

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Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

ANNOUNCING

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📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

10 tips to become a more presentable man

There’s a trend happening on the internet right now.

It’s called “looksmaxxing.”

Looksmaxxing • noun | LOOKS-mak-sing
An online self-improvement practice, primarily practiced amongst men, that is focused on the process of maximizing one’s own physical attractiveness.

In today’s issue, we’re going to be looking at a few simple things you can do to “max-out” your own looks.

Here are 10 ideas to get you started:

1. Define your jawline with facial exercises. My favorite is the “jaw chin up”. Here’s how to do it:

Read more

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Read more

We launched this podcast to help men live better, work better, and BE better - both in life and in business.

And it kick things off, we couldn’t think of a better first guest than John Lee Dumas, host of the legendary business podcast, Entrepreneurs on Fire.

In this premier episode, we bypass the usual business talk and dive straight into the deep end: what makes life meaningful as a man today.

John gets candid about his personal life, navigating family dynamics, and why stepping away from the hustle of the city to build a more traditional, grounded life was a game-changer.

Here’s a glimpse of what we unpack in Episode #001:

• The Modern Provider - We explore the unique dynamics of being a full-time provider while balancing the demands of family and business, and how those roles look vastly different depending on where you live.

• The Power of the Mastermind - Why the old adage “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” is absolute truth. We discuss why men desperately need a tight-knit brotherhood for support, accountability, and camaraderie—especially after leaving highly structured environments like the military.

• “This Too Shall Pass” - John shares his mindset for navigating the inevitable peaks and valleys of entrepreneurship and life.

• Why Retirement is a Trap - We discuss why losing your purpose and relevancy is the “number one killer” for men, and why finding joy in meaningful work should be a lifelong pursuit.

• Daily Non-Negotiables - A look into the simple, grounding routines—like a 3-mile walk with the dog and some Caribbean sunshine—that keep JLD anchored and focused.

About John Lee Dumas

What if I just quit my job?

Many men experience this same thought.

And due to a fear mindset, they often tell themselves that they “have to go to work” versus telling themselves they “get to go to work.”

Nearly 60% of U.S. workers feel detached, unfulfilled, or unhappy at work.

This comes with great stress, burden, and the expectation that you must be the one who provides for your family.

If you’re tired of spending 90% of your day doing things you don’t enjoy and only 10% doing what you love, then you definitely need to listen to this brief talk with John Lee Dumas of Entrepreneurs on Fire.

After serving as an active-duty Army Officer for four years, Dumas tried law school (and dropped out after the first semester), corporate finance, and commercial real estate, yet still found himself drained and unfulfilled.

His journey included a lot of struggle and searching, as many of ours do too.

However, all it takes is one day, one decision, one introduction to change your life.

For John Lee Dumas, that one moment came when he decided to help others by launching the Entrepreneurs on Fire podcast.

Eventually, it grew into a thriving community where he inspires entrepreneurs to break out of complacency and start building the life they’ve always dreamed of.

Key takeaways & links from this episode:

• The Common Path to Uncommon Success by John Lee Dumas

• Write down your goals.

• “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” — Jim Rohn

• John’s podcast: Entrepreneurs on Fire