Gents Journey

Watch: Authenticity is King in Marketing

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

Authentically you

^{by Dean Bokhari}

There’s nothing as potent and powerful as a man on a mission, who knows what he’s after, and refuses to cower away from his masculine nature.

This week’s issue of The Gents Weekly is all about authenticity.

Being authentic means acting in a way that matches your true self, core values, beliefs, and inner thoughts rather than pretending to be someone else for approval.

When you’re authentically yourself - when you show up without pretending to be someone you’re not, you become unstoppable, you become more confident, and you show up with a certain presence… You develop an “aura” that people recognize as magnetic but can’t quite put their finger on.

If being authentic is a challenge for you, here are a few ways to develop it:

1. Love yourself first.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in life is this: if I don’t know how to love myself, I’ll never know how to love anyone (or any-thing) else. Expecting to find love outside of yourself before you’ve found it first from within is like expecting someone who doesn’t know how to read to teach a literature class—it’s just not possible. Love yourself first, and your authentic nature will come to the forefront.

2. Forgive yourself.

Yes—you’ve f*cked up in the past. We all have. Don’t let that get in the way of showing up as your authentic self. We all make mistakes. When you begin to forgive yourself for the faults and fumbles of your past - you make way for the true you to shine.

3. Stop pretending.

Many men (many many many many men 🎵) are great at faking authenticity. They pretend to be perfect, pretend to be happy, pretend to be confident, and pretend like they’ve never made mistakes… If that’s you, I’ve got news for ya, bromontana: people can see right through it. You might as well be wearing wet white t-shirt. Don’t pretend like you’re perfect. None of us are.

4. Never compare.

Comparison is one of the fastest ways to take all kinds of enjoyment out of your life. Comparison will kill your joy - and your authenticity. So don’t do it. If you compare yourself to anyone, compare yourself to who you were yesterday, last week, last month, last year, and on and on. When you focus on improving yourself, not proving yourself, your authentic self will naturally begin to arise.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓
The Authenticity Check: Gut Check on How Real You Feel

Something I decided at a very young age was to be unapologetically myself. Even in the face of adversity, or when people thought I was a little strange or out there, I didn’t wear that as a badge of honor. I wore myself as a badge of honor, and I’ve always taken pride in that.

I think part of it was my father. He was always himself. He walked into a room and he was always confident. And I’ve come to see that confidence and authenticity are two different things. Plenty of people are confident. But confidence that isn’t backed up by authenticity is just a performance.

We live in an age where authenticity is currency. I’m not trying to say I’m monetizing mine, but I am quantifying it at all times. And it takes work. It means being honest with yourself at every turn.

Take this newsletter, for example. It’s going out a day late because I had a very busy day yesterday. There’s a little guilt attached to that, because I didn’t get my portion done in time. So I’m being authentic about it. I’m apologizing.

The two men I share this business with, this platform with, are some of the hardest working men I’ve ever met. I’ve learned a great deal from them over the last six years. But one thing we all had in common at the beginning was our complete, authentic selves. The three of us are very different. Our backgrounds, our ethnicities, our faiths, our families, and our experiences are all vastly different from each other.

Yes, there have been moments when the three of us, as a trio, had to have conversations that, under certain circumstances, especially over the last seven years, shifted a friendship or an understanding into a new chapter. Some of those chapters have been negative. Some have been positive. There’s a whole spectrum there. But the authenticity of each of us as individuals adds up to the ultimate strength of the authenticity of this brand. That’s something I want to instill in all of you.

When you look in the mirror and you’re honest with yourself, you can be honest with the people around you. To me, that’s the definition of authenticity.

As we close out this year and approach the next, I want to leave you with a few thoughts. Are you happy with the person you see in the mirror? Or, better yet, do you have enough conversations with that person? The more conversations you have with yourself, the better.

I have one of those conversations every morning in front of the mirror, and another in my journal. It’s not really a diary. It’s an honest account of myself, with myself, every day.

In the coming year, we’re releasing a product called the Journey Journal. We can’t wait to show you what it is. It will help you see how powerful your own hero’s journey has been, and it’ll prop you up on a solid understanding of your own authenticity.

Below is a quick gut check you can run on yourself. It isn’t a test of how authentic you actually are, and it isn’t a judgment of how other people see you. It’s about how you feel about yourself right now: where you feel like you’re showing up as you, and where you feel like you’re performing. Copy it into ChatGPT or Claude, answer the questions honestly, and see what comes back.

Here’s a quick prompt to add to the bottom of the post:

Quick Authenticity Check:

Copy this into ChatGPT or Claude and answer honestly. It takes about five minutes.

I want a quick, fun gut check on how authentic I feel about myself right now. Not how authentic other people think I am. How I feel about it.

Ask me 8 questions, one at a time. Keep them short and a little playful. Mix in questions about how I show up at work, with friends, with family, and when I'm by myself.

After my answers, give me:
1. A one-line read on how authentic I feel
2. Where I feel most like myself
3. Where I feel like I'm performing
4. One small thing I could do this week to feel more like me

Be honest but kind. Don't flatter me, and don't pile on.

Answer honestly. Then ask yourself the question from above: do you have enough conversations with the person in the mirror?

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

Who are you?

When we're born, we have infinite possibilities. But as we age, society, the people, and things we chase in life begin to change us.

Then at some point in a man’s life, we realize it’s up to us to step up and take ownership of who we are.

Be your most authentic self.

“Authentic” has become a buzzword, so you can swap it with truthful, organic, or honest. The meaning never changes.

Content used to be king, but now authenticity is.

The data backs it up.

In a Stackla study, 90% of consumers said authenticity matters when deciding what they like and support. Not to mention, people are now more adept at sniffing out AI and fake images. So much so that Substack now reviews its content to ensure it’s human-derived.

About five years ago, a friend of mine was creating killer organic content, so I reached out to her and said, “Who is creating your content?”

She was, with a little help from an amazing editor, Ryan (from the video above).

She was not only showcasing her truest self, but weaving in her expertise, while letting us see everything, from the mundane moments to the most important parts of her day. That’s why it worked.

And in the age of AI, it matters more now than ever. As a fellow content creator, I couldn’t agree more, as we all know you can see through the BS online.

Posing as the perfect life
Pretending to be problem-free
AI videos
AI-generated captions

So much so, that there are numerous tool to spot whether content was created by a real human, like me writing this, or AI. Here’s a Reddit around How to detect AI.

We are all human. And as AI and machine learning grow, showing who you are and your true colors isn’t only nice; it’s essential.

Mistakes Make Us Human

What we go through, we grow through.

We all fall or fail. What matters more is getting back up, while sharing your story tells ourselves (and others) that we can all do hard things.

Growing up in Philly, I was a huge Rocky fan. He was the epitome of the underdog, which was exactly what our city was too. One line from his films that comes to mind is about moving forward in the face of adversity.

And the man behind Rocky, Sylvester Stallone, lived that line long before it ever appeared on screen. He was born with partial facial paralysis after a forceps injury at birth, which is why he has a drooping lip and a slur, but he made it work for him.

Sly was so broke he sold his dog for $40 to make ends meet, and refused to give up creative control of his script. Offers came in above $300K, but he said “no”, as he needed to star in the picture.

Stallone bet on himself, broken and destitute, but alive with creativity to ultimately make the film for $1 million and win Best Picture, and put him on track to become one of Hollywood’s hottest stars

I can’t wait to see “I Play Rocky” coming out soon, which tells this story and comes out next week.

He didn’t do it for the execs, audience or money; he did it for his most authentic self.

Be The Mirror

As fathers and men, we wear many masks and hats in our daily lives.

One of the keys to a healthy life is balance.

Maintaining home and work life
Carrying provider and protector roles
Juggling regular day-to-day and moments that matter most

When you show up as yourself, others can get to know the real you faster, and that’s where most strong bonds begin to cement themselves.

But when you show up inconsistently, as one kind of man one day and a totally different one the next, it’s hard to build trust.

Sometimes we shield ourselves, and for good reasons, but when we are transparent, it helps us connect.

Connection is key.

Connection to your calling.
Connection to your creativity.
Connection to your company.
Connection to your community.

When you share your toughest moments, or even the simpler ones like trying to get your kids to bed, you let others see themselves in you.

Be the Mirror. Only when you reveal your innermost self can you build a relationship in today’s automated and animated world.

Here’s your challenge: take out your phone and film a quick video today sharing what you’re most excited about in life, and what’s weighing on you.

Post it on social media, or don’t.

Either way, begin your exploration into authenticity and know that who you are, and where you’re at, is just right.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

Get Your Free AI Brand Audit from Stephen Seidel

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

Is the best you can do, all you can do?

Gents Journey — Mon, 26 Oct 2026 05:00:46 GMT

I’ve got a quick question for you:

Is the best you can do ALL you can do?

Let’s say you go to the gym tomorrow and decide to see how many consecutive push-ups you can do in a row.

You’re able to crank out 20 push-ups — nice work!

Now, does this mean 20 push-ups is all you’ll ever be able to do?

Absolutely not…

If you rest a bit, you can crank out 20 more. A…

Gents Weekly: The Best-Smelling Man in the Room

Gents Journey — Mon, 19 Oct 2026 22:23:48 GMT

Welcome to issue #38 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.

New issues every Monday. Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Join Gents Journey

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

The Top 5 Year-Round Colognes for Men

^{by Dean Bokhari}

Below, you’ll find a list of the best all-rounder fragrances for men. These are the scents you can wear with almost anything, almost anywhere, and in almost any season.

1. House of Sillage N.001

If James Bond were an actual human being, this is the cologne he’d reach for most frequently. House of Sillage makes two of my top two personal favorite colognes: Dignified, and HOS N.001 (pictured above). The latter is the one cologne I wear most frequently. If you get it, prepare for constant compliments. Also be prepared to receive remarks like this one from the ladies: “Wow. You smell delicious.”

What it smells like:

A regal luxury oud parfum inspired by ancient spice routes, blending oud, amber, and cinnamon with clove, ginger, and tonka on a base of vanilla, mahogany, and cedarwood.

2. Creed Aventus

If you’re looking for something maximally masculine, this is the one to reach for.

What it smells like:

Head notes of lemon, pink pepper & bergamot with a complementary floral heart of pineapple, jasmine & patchouli.
Woody base notes of oakmoss, cedarwood & ambergris.

3. Gentle Fluidity Silver by Maison Francis Kurkdjian

I think they massively missed the mark by giving this cologne a feminine name like “Gentle Fluidity”… There’s nothing girly about how this smells, but wearing will indeed attract the girlies. It smells clean, spicy, and musky. If you like understated sophistication, this is right up your alley.

What it smells like:

Juniper, dry spice, and musky with amber woods.

4. Spicebomb by Viktor&Rolf

If I had to name a value-conscious alternative to the first cologne in this list (HOS N.001) - Spicebomb would be it. This is a damn great smelling cologne that you can wear everywhere, including work, date night, and more formal occasions. It’s a phenomenally versatile fragrance.

What it smells like:

Intensely masculine scent with key accords of cinnamon, tobacco, and vetiver, blended with bergamot and grapefruit.

5. Sauvage by Dior

This is the cologne I’m wearing today. Sauvage by Dior is like the chameleon of colognes… It smells nice and crisp in the winter. But it also smells fresh when you’re duffy-boating with friends in the summer. An excellent all-rounder, daily fragrance.

What it smells like:

Classy, crisp, spicy, clean, warm & uplifting
Top notes of Sichuan pepper & Calabrian bergamot
Heart notes of geranium, lavender, elemi, pink pepper, vetiver & patchouli
Base notes of cedar, labdanum & ambroxan

Get Your Free AI Brand Audit from Stephen Seidel

Stay fresh,

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

Smelling Good Together: Dad and Son Review Cologne

Today, my son Philip and I sat down and talked about cologne. We reviewed a few different bottles and got into what we each love about the scents that inspire us. It’s a fun way to see how someone else experiences a fragrance, and it’s a good reminder that the right scent can say a lot about who you are.

So here’s the challenge. Walk through your house. Check your friends’ bathrooms. Look for a bottle that someone you trust already wears, or one that’s been sitting on a shelf, waiting for you. Spray it, sit with it for a minute, and see if it fits you. Good luck out there. Go smell good.

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

The Scent of a Man

The sense of smell is one of the most powerful senses, which is especially true if you’ve ever lost it.

It’s also closely tied to memory, which is why a single whiff can drop you back into a moment from decades ago.

Today I want to share how a few bottles of cologne shaped my idea of what it means to be a man, and I’d love for you to share the scents that inspired and shaped yours too.

Watch: Why Smell is More Important Than You Think

It’s been said that smell can work like a time machine.

Take a moment to think back to your childhood and a handful of memories.

Visiting Disney World or Disneyland
Watching a movie with your family.
Shopping at the mall

Chances are each memory connects to something visual, emotional, and olfactory.

When I think back to childhood, many of my fondest memories are tied to smells.

For Example: The buttery popcorn that landed all over me inside the AMC on 309 outside Philly, or the smell of the chocolate chip cookies when I visited Disney World in 1988.

Having worked in Disney’s College Program, I know that they do pump smells into the park.

This not only helps you remember the experience and want to come back, but also sells a heckuva lot of food.

Disney isn’t alone, either. Many companies and brands use scent on purpose to create experiences, bring audiences in, and grow the bottom line.

During the holiday season, I can still recall walking into Abercrombie & Fitch and being hit by an overflowing wall of cologne to bring in customers and drive sales. That’s scent strategy at work.

If you own a company, it’s worth thinking about not just your visual and audio identity, but your olfactory footprint, too.

It’s hard to imagine A&F without its smell, so much so that LFO name-dropped the brand in Summer Girls.

Stepping into Manhood

My parents were divorced, and I was raised by both my dad, who was often traveling, and my stepfather, Tom, who lived with us.

I remember when I first started to hit puberty, and I noticed that strong scent that crept out of the bathroom every time Tom showered. At first I thought it was aftershave, but I later found out it was cologne.

To me, that was what it meant to “smell like a man.”

Looking back, I wasn’t just noticing a scent; I was watching a man I looked up to and trying to figure out how to emulate him.

On the flip side, my mom wore the flowery smell of Elizabeth Taylor’s “White Diamonds” my entire life. Even now, one whiff and I can feel her beside me.

One day I snuck into Tom’s bathroom, opened the mirror cabinet, and found Polo, Drakkar Noir, and countless other brands.

So I sprayed some on… and Drakkar Noir was my first foray into the cologne kingdom. A few weeks later I sprayed so much that I was almost kicked out of Tracy Musial’s birthday party because I went a little overboard.

As I journeyed through adolescence and into manhood, I tried more and more types of cologne, as each one made me feel a different way. It was a fun time to experiment.

Bottles began stacking up like trophies: Tommy Hilfiger, Curve, John Paul Gaultier.

The more I wore them, the more I noticed it started to feel weird in my nose.

Fragrance-Free Movement

About 10 years ago, when my first daughter was born, I started becoming more aware of what we were putting into our bodies.

It started with this documentary, Stink!, which digs into the chemicals hiding in everyday products like body spray and cologne.

It also covers how the single word, “fragrance,” on a label can cover a long list of ingredients that companies are not required to disclose.

Remember how brands use scent to make us feel something?

Corporations are built to make money, and that doesn’t always line up with what’s best for our health.

After watching it, I began to use cologne sparingly, to the point that I barely wear it.

But when I do, I’m right back in my teens, putting on Curve and feeling like a million bucks before Homecoming.

It gave me that extra boost of confidence to help me overcome any self-doubt.

Looking back, that bottle was never really about the smell, but about wanting to feel like I was enough. You can feel that way with or without cologne.

I hope this note brings you that sense of reassurance.

So to wrap things up, I want to encourage you to do three things.

Review the ingredients in your cologne
Use it sparingly, and be mindful where you spray it
When wearing it, go out there and crush life

Now it’s your turn, gents.

What scent takes you back?

Maybe it’s your dad’s aftershave, your grandmother’s kitchen, or a first-date cologne you wore way too much of.

Tell us who was wearing it, what it brought back for you, and what that moment meant to you.

Share it in the comments, as your story might be exactly what other gents in our group need to hear.

And if you’re wearing a clean brand with limited chemicals, please DM or share that with me too.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

Good News First:

Gents Journey — Fri, 16 Oct 2026 23:35:45 GMT

Hey guys. Matt McManus here. This platform, this community, us, means a great deal to my partners and me, simply because men don’t really collaborate the way we’ve built it here. So I’d like to introduce you to something new I’ve been doing that I think can make you feel like an individual and part of a community at the same time.

The topic is news.

For a hundred years, we’ve gotten the news from a paper, from the television when we get home, or from what people say on the subway, on the train, in our ears at work. More often than not, it happens in the morning. And if there’s new news, it happens in the evening.

The world has changed, and we all know it, thanks to AI. The main difference for me is this: you can Google something, and it gives you everything that’s on Google. But now you can be hyper specific.

I woke up one day and thought, I don’t want bad news first. I want good news first. So that’s what I told my prompt. I use Claude. Use whatever you like, but you should use something. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you do for a living, or where you live. It’s where we are now. I’m not trying to force it down your throat. I’m saying it can help you in ways like this.

I was going to CNN or Politico, as well as Fox News, just to get perspective. I was raised by a Democrat and a Republican at the same time, so I like being exposed to both sides just to have a general awareness. But after decades of this, I realized I was consuming someone else’s priorities. And my priorities had shifted.

News goes way beyond what’s happening in the world. I like knowing what’s going on with music. MTV News was great at that in the 80s and 90s. Believe it or not, Kurt Loder and everyone under him at that platform informed me in a super sharp way. That doesn’t exist anymore, so I sought my own way.

I live in LA. I’m from New York. Both coastal towns. But I want to know what’s going on in between, too. So I started adding to this prompt piece by piece. Every morning, it tells me what’s going on in the world I want to live in and the world I’m currently living in, if that makes any sense.

My lineup looks like this:

Good news first.
The weather in LA and New York City, because I’ve got a foot in both.
The important news of the day.
The Dodgers, Mets, Yankees, and Jets, in brief, since those are the teams I follow.
Entertainment news that matters to me as an actor and a creative.
A fun health fact for a man my age.
Cool New Balance shoes on the market.
New food fads, because I love food.
Hip hop and pop culture for someone my age. No new rappers.
A realistic take on astrology for a Libra man. No yah yah.
Cool things happening in LA that day or that week that I could actually go to: paint and sips, burger launches, free events from Hollywood out to Silver Lake.

And then there was a turning point. A regular guy could be an editor.

I edited my news, but I did not curate it. Because if I’m curating it, I’m leaving out the things I maybe agree with, or maybe disagree with. It doesn’t matter. I want to know what culture is saying.

Now, I’ll be honest with you. There’s a bubble risk here. I’m not asking you to live in a bubble where the news you don’t want never comes toward you. That’s why I kept important news in my lineup. Good news comes first, but the rest of the world still shows up. I choose the order I meet it in, not whether I meet it. And AI can get facts wrong, so as a good editor, I still check my sources.

If you want to build your own, I’ll walk you through it below.

Gents Weekly: Start Scaring Yourself

Gents Journey — Mon, 12 Oct 2026 22:03:41 GMT

Welcome to issue #37 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.

New issues every Monday. Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Join Gents Journey

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

A comfort challenge

^{by Dean Bokhari}

Halloween is around the corner and spooky vibes are in the air — which is why today’s issue of The Gents Weekly is on stepping into fear, rather than running away from it.

Sometime around 2010, I read a book called The Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss - a business book about creating high-leverage products that allow you to make money from anywhere while living life on your own terms.

It was one of the first books I read when I got started building businesses of my own.

And it’s absolutely worth reading.

But I’m not here to talk about business today.

After every section of the book, Ferriss shares what he refers to as a “comfort challenge” - an action or exercise to help you apply the ideas he’s sharing.

I’ve forgotten about most of his comfort challenges, but there’s one I still remember to this day…

It was about forcing yourself to overcome social anxiety - by lying flat on the floor in a high-traffic public space for 30 seconds before standing back up and pretending like you did nothing weird.

Yes, seriously.

The logic behind it is to leverage exposure therapy principles to desensitize your nervous system to the fear of judgment and embarrassment.

So I decided to give it a shot.

I went to a nearby mall, by myself, and started looking around for the right place to try Ferriss’ comfort challenge…

Then I spotted one of those fountains you used to throw pennies in at the mall as a kid:

It was kind of a busy day.

People were strolling in and out of stores and casually walking past the fountain.

As I approached, I saw a kid toss a penny into the water.

Nostalgia.

I circled the perimeter of the fountain once, nervously thinking about whether to do it or not.

I was procrastinating and putting it off.

“Okay man,” I told myself. “Don’t be a bitch. Just do it.”

Then, as my heart was beating out of my chest, I took my position:

I laid flat on my back on that dirty mall floor, right in front of the fountain, and started counting to thirty.

Guess what happened?

Absolutely nothing. People just continued strolling along.

Most people didn’t even notice me.

Before laying down, I noticed an old man sitting on a bench in front of the fountain eating a pretzel.

Once I was on the floor, I remember seeing him peripherally, he stood up and sort of leaned over from a distance - peaking over to make sure I was still alive.

I had my eyes open and a polite smile on my face.

“28-mississippi, 29-mississippi, 30-mississippi”

I stood up and looked around.

A mall cop was slowly making his way toward me.

I gave him a nod and a wave 👋 — and then I just walked away.

It’s hard to say how many different ways I’ve benefited from trying this comfort challenge, but here are a few:

First, the nerves disappeared almost immediately after I lay on the floor—teaching me that most things aren’t nearly as scary as you think they’ll be once you work up the courage to do them.
Striking up conversations with people became effortless.
Approaching women got a lot easier, too.
Confidence went up.
It also helped me care a lot less about what strangers think of me.

All in all, that comfort challenge was a major win for me as a man - and all it took was thirty seconds on the floor in front of a mall fountain.

Now, I’m going to challenge you to do it too.

Here’s how:

Find a busy public place. A a sidewalk, Barnes & Noble, a coffee shop, anywhere.
Lay flat on the floor for 10-30 seconds. You can lie on your back or stomach. Just make sure you’re by yourself, and surrounded by enough strangers for it to qualify as a “busy public space”
After counting from 10-30, stand back up to continue your day as if nothing happened.

Do not explain yourself to anyone who stares or asks questions. After you’re done, just get up, smile, and carry on with your day.

Yes, the whole thing will feel awkward at first.

But you’ve got a hell of a lot more to gain than to lose by trying it out.

Side effects of this comfort challenge include (but are not limited to) the following:

Social anxiety is crippling for men everywhere, this helps you crack it.
You’ll realize many of your concerns are fake or harmless. So many men are worried to speak up or break social norms. Like it’ll have some sort of catastrophic impact on their lives. Laying down on the floor for 30 seconds helps you realize that oftentimes, your worst concerns are usually nothing more than a few strange looks from people you don’t know… And that has zero impact on your life.
It also trains you to detach your internal state from external validation, making it easier to take risks, pitch big ideas, or come face-to-face with rejection in your personal and professional life.

So try it this week.

There’s no better time to test your courage-muscles.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: Courage

Truth is on the other side of fear.

I learned that at ten years old when my childhood friend encouraged me to hop a fence. I was terrified. My legs felt like jelly. Every part of me said no.

But the second I got on the other side, I knew something had shifted. I could hop fences for the rest of my life. Not because I suddenly had superpowers. But because I’d proved to myself that the fear was bigger than the thing itself.

That’s what this is about.

Not climbing mountains or quitting your job or making some massive life change. Just the small fears. The small fences. The things you’re avoiding that, if you just pushed through them for five minutes, would change your relationship with yourself.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

Help me get on the other side of the fence. I'm not looking to conquer huge fears—just the small ones that are quietly holding me back.

Help me:

1. Identify the small fence (What are you actually avoiding?)
   - What's something small you've been putting off?
   - What's a conversation you're dreading?
   - What's an action that makes you anxious but isn't actually dangerous?
   - What would take five minutes but you've been avoiding for months?

2. Figure out why you're afraid
   - What's the actual fear underneath it? (Rejection? Failure? Judgment? Looking stupid?)
   - How big is the real danger vs. how big does it feel?
   - What's the worst that actually happens?

3. Realize the fear is bigger than the fence
   - Once you do it, how will you feel?
   - What will you know about yourself on the other side?
   - How many times could you do this if you knew you could?

4. Make the move this week
   - What's the one small fence you're hopping?
   - When are you doing it?
   - What's your proof that you did it?

Here's what I'm avoiding: [Be specific]

Here's why I'm afraid: [What's the real fear?]

Here's what happens if I just do it: [Paint the picture]

Don't let me overthink this. Help me see how small the fence actually is.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you separate the fear from the fence. It’s going to show you that most of what you’re avoiding isn’t actually dangerous, just uncomfortable.

By the end, you’ll have:

A clear picture of your small fear
Understanding of what you’re really afraid of
The vision of what’s on the other side
One fence to hop this week

WHY THIS MATTERS

Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s doing it anyway.

And it starts with small fences. With the things that make you uncomfortable but won’t actually hurt you. Once you hop one, you know you can hop another. And another.

That’s how you build a life where you’re not avoiding things. Where you’re moving toward them.

Run this prompt. Find your fence. Hop it.

Drop the small fence you’re hopping this week. Let’s see who’s moving.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
The Only Way Out Is Through

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

Make Fear Your Friend

Treat fear like a compass; it points you toward what you care about most.

If it scares you, it has meaning, and that’s all the more reason to push through.

Watch Fear: Go Towards It.

Typically, the day-to-day fear we experience is simply a story we’re telling ourselves.

Here’s a good acronym to remember F.E.A.R.:

F: False
E: Evidence
A: Appearing
R: Real

Back in the day, cavemen had real fears, such as whether they’d eat, be eaten, or survive the elements.

However, today in the age of technology, push notifications and constant emails, we remain consumed by the expectations of others.

We worry about what others might think of us, or what we “should” or “should not” do.

A mentor of mine once said, “Wipe the should off of you.”

Gary Vee or Bust

When Gary Vee released his limited-edition K-Swiss shoes, he came to Los Angeles, where I was living at the time, for a meet-and-greet to sign his kicks.

When I got there, the line stretched down Melrose and wrapped around the corner.

Previously, a mutual friend connected me to Gary, which led to me applying to work at VaynerMedia. I was asked to stop by and say hello, and felt this would help my chances of being hired.

I saw the line of 500+ people and said to myself, “This is it, I have to do this.”

It was time to uphold my commitment to his company and myself.

A doorman stood at the entrance, letting attendees in one by one, as I could see the entrance at the end of the block.

I started walking past everyone in the line, nodding and pushing forward.

What will they say? my inner critic asked. Even though I was scared, I ignored it and kept on.

What if the doorman stops me? I listened and kept moving forward, one step at a time.

What if this doesn’t work? I acknowledged the fear rising within me, thanked it, and said to myself, “Why not me?”

As Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

I held my head high, walked with intention, grabbed the door handle myself, and walked right in, as I nodded to the doorman.

“I am meant to be here,” I told myself.

I entered the queue inside, introduced myself to the K-Swiss team, got their business card, and then stepped up to take a picture with Gary.

Needless to say, I didn’t get the job, but I came away from that with much more.

It was a lesson in commitment, and if you want something bad enough, it’s up to you to go get it, even if you’re scared.

Or as my friends say, risk it for the biscuit.

Take the First Step

What are you afraid of?

Maybe it’s asking out the girl, starting a hobby, or quitting your day job for the dream career you’ve always wanted …

You are a man of courage, confidence, and bravery who owes it to himself to try.

Start noticing when your chest tightens, or your heart won’t stop racing. Write it down on your phone as you build a sense of awareness of what is impacting your life.

These are the moments to recognize the voice in your head and say, “Thank you for pointing me in the right direction.”

Fight or flight is real, and your job is not to run or resist, but to move forward in the face of fear and adversity.

Try this: Pick one thing that feels hard, or that brings up fear in you, this week.

One caveat: keep it within reason. Don’t start fighting bears or jumping from buildings, unless you know what you’re doing and aren’t putting your life in danger.

For Example: Make sure to get in shape and train first, before trying parkour.

Every athlete started somewhere, with one step, one jump, and one leap of faith.

Start small, but do it scared. Make fear your friend.

Comment below with one time you took a leap in the face of fear, and how it landed.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

✨ PREMIUM MEMBERS ONLY

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

The Gents Weekly Podcast

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Build a Life By Design

Gents Journey — Fri, 09 Oct 2026 17:24:26 GMT

Limited Time Only

Get 50% Off When You Upgrade to Gents Journey Premium Today:

~~$100~~ $50

Build a Life By Design:
A Simple Practice to Lead with Intention

^{by Stephen Seidel | Co-Founder, Gents Journey}

What would happen if you wrote down exactly what you wanted?

Ten years ago, I had just started my own agency. On paper, I was the boss, but in reality, I felt isolated and lonely in my entrepreneurial journey.

So I hired a coach because men’s groups weren’t as readily available. Before we talked strategy, she had me write down what I wanted.

One line read: Buy a 2,000+ square-foot house with a fence and a yard by 2020.

In November 2020, we moved into that house. I had completely forgotten I wrote it down.

That’s what journaling does. It gets it out of your head, onto the page, and into your reality. Research from Dominican University found people are 42% more likely to hit goals just by writing them down.

I wrote 10 goals that year. Almost every one came true. New house. 10 clients booked. A podcast sold.

Jim Rohn put it, “We all have two choices: we can make a living, or we can design a life.”

Most of us have mastered making a living …

But have you designed your life?

You can start doing this in under 10 minutes. Let’s go!

YOUR SEVEN STEPS

Choose your pillar
Set your goal
See it
Make it a habit
Tell someone
Set your reward
Get started

1. Choose your pillar

Sit in silence for a moment. Check in with your mind, body, and spirit.

Chances are, one area of your life has been running on empty or getting depleted, while you’ve been busy taking care of everything else.

At Gents Journey, we build on seven pillars of manhood:

Family
Friendship
Fun
Focus
Fitness
Freedom
Faith

Open up a notebook or a note on your phone. Write down the one pillar that needs you the most right now.

For Example: If you’ve been meaning to get back in the gym, write “Fitness.”

2. Set your goal

“First say to yourself what you would be, and then do what you have to do.” - Epictetus

Choose one goal in that pillar. Make it S.M.A.R.T.:

Specific: Say exactly what you want.
Measurable: Use a real number.
Achievable: Stretch, but stay honest.
Relevant: It should matter to this pillar (and you).
Time-bound: Give it a date.

Keep it to one sentence. Here are a few Fitness examples:

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

Gents Journey — Tue, 06 Oct 2026 22:48:12 GMT

Limited Time Only

Get 50% Off When You Upgrade to Gents Journey Premium Today:

~~$100~~ $50

Book Summary:
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

^{by Dean Bokhari | Co-Founder, Gents Journey}

About

After watching Gladiator II recently, I felt a natural pull to revisit my old copy of Meditations - a series of writings on Stoic philosophy by the former Emperor of Rome, Marcus Aurelius.

Fun fact for ya: Aurelius actually never even intended on publishing any of the writings from Meditations—because he was actually writing them as notes to himself.

In other words: reading Meditations is like reading a very powerful man’s personal journal.

The book was first printed in 1559, nearly 14 centuries after Aurelius died. He started writing these notes to himself around 170 CE, and continued writing until around the time of his death, which was on March 17, 180 CE. Which means the original hand-written manuscript survived for 1,400 years before finally being printed and published for everyone to read.

But what boggles my mind most about Meditations is this: the ideas inside the book are about 1,900 years old, yet they’re just as applicable in the modern world we live in today as they were way back then.

Inside, Marcus Aurelius riffs on a wide range of ideas about life, leadership, and personal growth. He shares his thoughts on spirituality, finding focus, life fulfillment, integrity, love, leading a purpose-driven life, and tons of other knowledge bombs pulled from the Stoic way of life.

Let’s get into it.

SUMMARY IN A SENTENCE

Don’t get caught up in trivial matters, let go of pettiness, hold yourself accountable, and appreciate your life within a larger context.

CRUCIAL QUOTES

“You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” — Marcus Aurelius
“The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts.” — Marcus Aurelius
“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” — Marcus Aurelius

BIG IDEAS

Choose Not to Be Harmed
Abide by The Law of The Universe
Everything Has a Purpose
Seek Synergy
Focus
Don’t Lose Perspective
See The World as it Really is
Closing Notes
Top Quotes From ‘Meditations’ By Marcus Aurelius

1. Choose not to be harmed

“Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus was emperor of Rome from 161AD until his death 19 years later. By the time he came to power, Rome was under threat: constantly at war, plagued with disease, and to make matters worse, they had to deal with earthquakes, too.

As leader of Rome, Aurelius remained calm and conscientious throughout each of these challenges—helping his people persevere.

Try to imagine the leader of any of today’s developed countries being so calm and philosophical in the midst of such crises. For these reasons, Marcus Aurelius was adored by the Romans even after his death—leaving a lasting legacy that framed him as the perfect emperor.

He wasn’t perfect of course, but who is?

Near the end of his reign, Aurelius was hailed as a genuine philosopher-king who provided the last real nobility of rule—until his corrupt son Commodus took over the throne and F’d it all up.

As a student of Stoic philosophy, Marcus Aurelius also refused to be made miserable by the difficulties of life:

“Begin each day by telling yourself: Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness – all of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil. But for my part I have long perceived the nature of good and its nobility, the nature of evil and its meanness, and also the nature of the culprit himself, who is my brother (not in the physical sense, but as a fellow creature similarly endowed with reason and a share of the divine); therefore none of those things can injure me, for nobody can implicate me in what is degrading. Neither can I be angry with my brother or fall foul of him; for he and I were born to work together, like a man’s two hands, feet or eyelids, or the upper and lower rows of his teeth. To obstruct each other is against Nature’s law – and what is irritation or aversion but a form of obstruction.”

2. Abide by the law of the universe

Stoicism is a Greek school of thought that originates from around about 300 BCE.

The essence of the Stoic philosophy is that we should submit to the law of the universe in order to live well.

Gents Weekly: Manly Spirituality

Gents Journey — Mon, 05 Oct 2026 21:53:15 GMT

Welcome to issue #36 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.

New issues every Monday. Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Join Gents Journey

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

Stoic spirituality

^{by Dean Bokhari}

This week’s issue of Gents Weekly is about tapping into your spiritual side.

And it’s hard to find a manlier approach to spirituality than that of the ancient Stoics.

So today, I’m sharing a summary of one of the most impactful spirituality books I’ve ever come across:

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

NOTE

This one’s exclusively for paid members of Gents Journey. To start reading it, scroll down to the bottom of this post. If you hit a paywall, you can unlock it here.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

The Ask That Answered

I’ve mentioned this before, and I mention it a lot: I was raised Catholic. Church every Sunday. Sunday school. Irish Catholic family in New York.

But here’s the thing. Regardless of how my parents wanted to raise me spiritually, I always had a deep connection with my higher power.

That phrase stuck with me. “Higher power.” My mom was a sponsor in a 12 step program, and in order to work the steps, you have to arrive at a higher power. I always liked those two words together. They say progress. Promotion. Peace. Answers.

And I think we’re all looking for answers. Why are we here? Who are we? What are we meant to do?

What I appreciated most from my Catholic upbringing was the community. The same faces every Sunday. The ritual. The routine. The habit of it.

Since then, I’ve diverged. Refined it. And now I wake up and I pray, I meditate, and I journal. In that act of three, at some point, I feel connected.

As a kid, I spoke to God from a place of need. Please help me achieve this. Please help me understand this. That’s fine. But let’s be honest. It’s one sided.

The conversations I have with my higher power now are different. I can hear a voice. I can feel a presence. And I arrive at answers. And it always makes me feel peaceful when I’m done.

Praying is just a conversation with your higher power. And ultimately, yourself. Because if there’s anything that Jesus and all the omnipotent figures we follow taught us, it’s that there is God in us as well.

I was twelve years old, sitting on a bus to summer camp. Far from my hometown. No friends. And at that age, making friends was difficult for me.

I remember turning to my higher power and saying, “I just want five close friends here. People who love and understand me. People I could be friends with forever.”

That summer, I met five children. Five. And I know them still, to this day. And one of them. Believe it or not. Is the mother of my child. My son. My absolute best friend in the entire universe.

My higher power didn’t just answer that call. He had a plan.

Who would have thought that going to that summer camp when I was twelve years old would not just give me the five friends that I made that summer, but the one human on this planet that would give me purpose and ultimately the life of my dreams.

Now, there might be words in this. God, religion, spirituality. That feel foreign to you. Something you’ve stepped back from. And that’s fine.

But what I ask you to consider is a higher power.

Here at Gents Journey, we’re trying to create powerful men and inspire powerful shifts in our collective narrative. We started this to help people connect, feel less alone and grow.

And that act actually starts with you and your higher power.

Because once you realize there is a higher power. Once you realize you’re not alone. Everything changes.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

The Signal in the Sky

There’s an old saying, "When you make plans, God laughs."

It’s a reminder of how little control we have, but also shines a light on the moments of serendipity that present themselves when you least expect them.

In my opinion, there is no such thing as a coincidence. It’s divine intervention.

When was the last time that happened to you?

For Example: Shortly after my mom passed, my daughter and I were searching for shooting stars, and no less than 5 seconds later, one flashed across the night sky.

Watch: Two Things to Worry About

Mike Goodwin takes it a step deeper, as you can’t control God’s plan, so worrying about it is wasted energy.

You basically have 2 options in your life, worry about it, or let your spiritual guide take you where you will be.

When you worry, 2 things happen.

You stop living in the present moment and resort to patterned responses.
You cease trusting in God, Buddha, the Universe or whatever you believe in.

Worry unfolds into smaller worries, all the way down — proof you were never fully in control of any of it to begin with.

The Weight We Carry

As a high-performing man, you have countless roles and responsibilities.

Father — protecting and providing for your family.
Husband or spouse — showing up unconditionally.
Friend — to the people who have known you since childhood and beyond.

But at the core of who you are is your purpose and your moral compass.

Each day brings problems, but when you let your spiritual path unfold, instead of seeking to force and act with expectations, your life gets a lot easier.

Think about your life and make a list of where you carry your most weight.

Marriage. Fatherhood. Business. Health. Money. Sleep. Legacy.

Grab a paper or jot notes in your phone, and it might read heavier than you expected, even though most of it weighs about the same.

We've been trained to treat an overburdened life like a badge of honor.

Too often we hear our friends say, “I’ve been busy,” as if it were something we actually wanted when it’s actually a metaphor for not letting go. It’s chasing our ego’s desire for power, status, and money, instead of allowing our creator’s compass to guide us.

But the weight isn't proof you're doing life right. It's usually proof you're gripping something you were never meant to carry alone.

I’d like to invite you to let go of the weight, put down the baggage and give it to God.

Your True North

One July 4th, my mother was sick, and I needed to get to her for our family reunion in upstate New York. I knew it might be our last one. Our flight got delayed, and then there were no flights left at all.

We tried renting a car — it would have taken two days. We sat in the Atlanta airport with no options, and we never made it. She passed away the following year, just days after Independence Day.

I spent a long time asking why that flight, why that year.

What I've since come to believe is that when you're carrying too much weight, you simply need to let go, and a sign will show up — flashes in the dark, like a light blinking through the woods when you're lost.

Serendipity shows up when you need it most.

A reminder that the present moment, heavy as it feels in that instant, is unfolding exactly how it's supposed to.

The next time you get a flat tire, your phone breaks, or you hurt yourself — remember:

Worry multiplies on its own — you don't have to help it along.
The weight you're carrying probably was never meant to be carried alone.
What feels like coincidence is a signal, or a teaching moment — don’t miss it.

What's a "coincidence" you've had recently that, looking back, might have actually been a signal? Comment below.

No matter where you are, when times get tough, stay the course and have faith that life is happening for you, not to you.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

Book Summary:
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

by Dean Bokhari | Co-Founder, Gents Journey

About

After watching Gladiator II recently, I felt a natural pull to revisit my old copy of Meditations - a series of writings on Stoic philosophy by the former Emperor of Rome, Marcus Aurelius.

Fun fact for ya: Aurelius actually never even intended on publishing any of the writings from Meditations—because he was actually writing them as notes to himself.

In other words: reading Meditations is like reading a very powerful man’s personal journal.

Let’s get into it.

SUMMARY IN A SENTENCE

Don’t get caught up in trivial matters, let go of pettiness, hold yourself accountable, and appreciate your life within a larger context.

CRUCIAL QUOTES

“You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” — Marcus Aurelius
“The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts.” — Marcus Aurelius
“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” — Marcus Aurelius

BIG IDEAS

Choose Not to Be Harmed
Abide by The Law of The Universe
Everything Has a Purpose
Seek Synergy
Focus
Don’t Lose Perspective
See The World as it Really is
Closing Notes
Top Quotes From ‘Meditations’ By Marcus Aurelius

1. Choose not to be harmed

“Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

As leader of Rome, Aurelius remained calm and conscientious throughout each of these challenges—helping his people persevere.

He wasn’t perfect of course, but who is?

Near the end of his reign, Aurelius was hailed as a genuine philosopher-king who provided the last real nobility of rule—until his corrupt son Commodus took over the throne and F’d it all up.

As a student of Stoic philosophy, Marcus Aurelius also refused to be made miserable by the difficulties of life:

“Begin each day by telling yourself: Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness – all of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil. But for my part I have long perceived the nature of good and its nobility, the nature of evil and its meanness, and also the nature of the culprit himself, who is my brother (not in the physical sense, but as a fellow creature similarly endowed with reason and a share of the divine); therefore none of those things can injure me, for nobody can implicate me in what is degrading. Neither can I be angry with my brother or fall foul of him; for he and I were born to work together, like a man’s two hands, feet or eyelids, or the upper and lower rows of his teeth. To obstruct each other is against Nature’s law – and what is irritation or aversion but a form of obstruction.”

2. Abide by the law of the universe

Stoicism is a Greek school of thought that originates from around about 300 BCE.

The essence of the Stoic philosophy is that we should submit to the law of the universe in order to live well.

Gents Weekly: New Chapters + New Beginnings

Gents Journey — Mon, 21 Sep 2026 22:13:53 GMT

Welcome to issue #35 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.

New issues every Monday. Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

New beginnings

^{by Dean Bokhari}

I took off my shirt and stood in front of the mirror. At 19 years old, I was overweight and out of shape. I was sick of being chubby and soft. I was sick of feeling tired all the time. I was sick of having no confidence. Truth be told, my whole life was a mess - and I was absolutely ashamed of myself about it.

And here’s the worst part: I had done this to myself.

I, and I alone, was responsible for what I’d let myself become.

No one to blame but me, myself, and I.

As I stood there in front of my mirror and looked at my soft, pudgy body, I felt disgusted with myself. I had man-boobs… man-boobs!

It was a painful feeling.

But something happened for me in that moment, something shifted…

I looked at myself and said out loud,

“Enough is ENOUGH! It’s time to change!”

All my emotions welled up inside me, and I kept yelling, “Enough is enough!”

I was ready to take on the challenge of changing my physical state.

That night, I decided to change…

I knew it would be hard.

I knew it would be painful.

But in that moment, I also knew that I could do it.

And eventually, I did.

Fast forward a couple decades to today, and I can still remember that moment, both vividly and viscerally…

Because it taught me that I was capable of doing anything—but it was up to me to make it happen.

Now, whenever I’m faced with challenges, trials and tribulations, rather than complaining about them or allowing the victim-mentality to take hold, I choose to believe this challenge is here to help me become better.

I choose to believe there’s a better version of me on the other side of every challenge I’m forced to deal with.

And once I decide to use my problem as an opportunity to learn what I’m made of—rather than an opportunity to complain and wallow in my own misery…

A powerful, two-part shift occurs:

The first part of this shift is mental: on the other side of this problem, there’s a better version of me. This first mental shift then leads to shift number two…
The second part of this shift is physical, which says: Now that I know this problem/pain/challenge is an opportunity to grow, what are the physical ACTIONS I need to take to make that growth happen?

It takes the same amount of energy to stress yourself out thinking about your problems as it does to make a definite decision to DO something about them…

Deciding to fix your problems will move you towards an eventual solution—if you take action.

But thinking about why you don’t have what you want, or wondering why bad things “always” happen to you, will get you nowhere but backward.

Problems are a good thing; solving them makes you happy.

Actionable insights

1. THINK ABOUT A MAJOR CHANGE YOU WANT TO MAKE.

Think about a major change you want to make, a problem you want to solve within the next 12 months. Maybe you took a big financial hit recently and want to turn things around. Maybe you put on some weight and want to get in the shape of your life. Maybe you want to launch that business you’ve been dreaming about starting. Whatever it is, envision it now.

2. BE BRUTALLY HONEST ABOUT IT.

Don’t say, “I’m feeling the burdens of financial strain.”

If you’re suffering financially, admit it to yourself and say so!

Don’t say, “I’m looking a tad bit out of shape.”

Say, “I AM FAT!” Stand in front of the mirror, strip off your clothes, and look at yourself—how does it make you feel? If you look like a sloth and feel like a sloth, then admit you’re a sloth!

The idea here is NOT to make yourself feel bad.

The purpose of being brutally honest with yourself is to make it emotional and painful enough such that it will inspire you to change.

3. MAKE THE SHIFT FROM VICTIM TO HERO.

Once you’ve faced the reality of your situation, it’s crucial you don’t allow yourself to become a victim of your circumstances. Reality is reality! But you can change your reality if you choose to DO something about it. Take responsibility. YOU are in charge. YOU are powerful.

For example: if you’ve admitted to yourself that you’ve allowed yourself to get fat, don’t sit there and say, “It’s a lost cause,” and eat more cookies. STAND UP and tell yourself that YOU are in charge and the time to change is NOW.

Envision yourself working hard and turning things around.

Envision yourself getting into better and better shape.

Envision yourself in peak physical condition.

Now, you have:

a painful reason to change, which PUSHES you away from your current state, and
a positive reason to change, which PULLS you in the direction you want to go.

4. MAKE A PLAN, WORK THE PLAN.

You’ve got your problem, and you’ve been brutally honest about it. You’ve shifted your mental paradigm from “I’m a victim” to “I’m the hero”. And you’ve envisioned yourself working hard and achieving success.

Now, it’s time to take action.

What’s the result you’re aiming for?

If your problem were solved, what would it look like?

Answer these questions and you’ll end up with a goal.

Once you’ve got your goal, it’s time to make a plan and begin taking action.

When I was overweight and unhealthy, I set a goal to get down to a single-digit body fat percentage. I was a chubby mess when I set that goal. I didn’t know how I’d get there.

But I had a target, which meant I could start.

To achieve that goal, I had to start an exercise habit, I had to clean up my diet, and I had to stop spending time with people who didn’t support my vision.

It took a lot of time and a ton of hard work, but I took small steps daily and, one day, I looked at myself in the mirror and I no longer saw rolls—I saw muscles…

The version of myself I envisioned in my mind 12 months earlier was no longer in my mind, it was in my reality.

It was a pivotal and powerful moment.

In that moment, I realized I could change practically anything in my life:

I went from unhealthy to peak health,
from bankrupt to millionaire,
from doing work I hated to meaningful work that fulfills me.

And you can do it too:

Think about a major change you want to make within the next 12 months and write it down.
Be brutally honest with yourself about it.
Make the mental shift from victim to hero.
Make a plan, work the plan. Set this goal into motion by writing down ONE thing you can do within the next 24 hours to get the ball rolling. Even if it’s as tiny as making a phone call or firing off an email or visiting a website. Never leave the sight of a new goal without doing at least one thing (no matter how small) to put it into motion.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

Share this with someone you think it could inspire.

📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

New Chapters

Hey, it’s Matt McManus from Gents Journey. I usually drop an AI prompt for you guys every week, but this one’s different. At our Monday meeting this week, we noticed something. All around us, chapters are changing. And here’s the thing: A life is only as interesting as its chapters. Society tells you there are five main ones. High school graduation. College graduation. Marriage. Kids. Retirement. But what they don’t prepare you for are the unexpected chapters. An illness. A death. A job change. A relationship ending. Change is inevitable, and chapters get handed to you whether you’re ready or not.

When a chapter arrives and reshuffles everything, you have to know what to do. So I’m going to tell you exactly what that looks like. First, how to reflect. Second, how to reclaim yourself. Third, the daily practices that actually work. And fourth, why time is always the answer.

First: Reflect. Literally and figuratively. Look at yourself in the mirror. Really see yourself.

This isn’t about worthiness. It’s about realizing you are eternally lovable and you’re worth sharing your life with others. It sounds strange, and trust me it is, but just look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you love yourself, five times. You may not even like it, at first. It may feel strange, but it changes the way your brain sees well, you.

Second: Think about who you are in this moment.

What do you want to wear? How do you identify with you? What do you like to do socially? What are the objects you keep around that are no longer serving you? You must canvas your life to find the people, places, or things that make you, feel like you.

Get brave. Get out of your comfort zone. If you’re scared of heights, try rock climbing. Because on the other side of fear, on the other side of what you’re avoiding, everything shifts.

Then you feel different. You are different.

Third: Do the daily practices.

There are simple, cliche things you can do every single day to engage with yourself while you’re moving through a chapter.

Journaling. Prayer. Meditation. And at the forefront of all of it? Exercise.

I designed a Workout through many chapters of my own life. It’s not just about getting stronger physically. It’s about fighting through a difficult moment with brilliance. When you change your body, you strengthen your mind and your heart.

There’s something about resilience and resistance in working out that helps you move from one chapter to the next.

Fourth: Remember that time is the answer.

When you arrive at the next chapter, you won’t notice it at first. That’s by design. Time is the architect. Time is always the answer.

If this chapter is difficult, it will pass. And healing, real healing, can be an enjoyable experience.

Once you become your own best friend. Once you have a relationship with yourself, your higher power if that’s your thing, your family, and your past. That’s when you become a superhero in your own life.

I’ve lived this. Multiple times. This isn’t hyperbole. This is real.

And if you’re reading this right now and you’re at a new chapter, whether it’s hard or beautiful, know this.

You are worthy of a brilliantly enjoyable life.

But it takes work.

At Gents Journey, we’re always observing our experience so we can share it with other men going through their own moment of difficulty or bliss, and all the chapters in between those polarities.

Mini chapters come for all of us. Job changes. Goodbyes. Shifts we didn’t see coming.

Even if you’re not experiencing something right now, one day things will change. When they do, you need to know the tactics to move through gracefully. With a smile on your face.

That’s what we’re here to address.

And we believe in you.

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

Rewrite the Story, Your Life Depends on it

Watch: The Hidden Power of Grief

What are you holding onto?

What are you attached to? Your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, or even the fact that you deserve a raise?

Growing up, society teaches us it’s all about consumption, accumulation, and attachments.

More money.
More friends
More success.

But what happens when you lose it? Whether it’s your job, a loved one, or a relationship, at some point, you will lose something near and dear to your heart. That’s when life hits you in the face and hands you a gift.

Instead of holding on to past patterns, unhealthy relationships, or the stories you’ve told yourself, you are given the gift of choosing how you will move forward: victim mindset or growth mindset.

Loosen Your Grip

Right now I’m planning fall break, and I keep revisiting last year’s trip to Dollywood. This year will probably be more crowded, as many pay homage to Dolly. RIP.

The Lightning Rod was the first ride my daughter wanted me to ride with her. I have a confession: I’m afraid of heights. So as we climbed up, I held on with everything I had, with my eyes closed.

I told myself, “If I don’t let go, I’ll make it out alive. Otherwise, I just might end up dead.” And it sure felt that way.

But really it was just a story I was telling myself so I could feel safe.

Too often in life we tell ourselves many stories to feel safe, and it limits our ability to grow. When we’re handed a new chapter - a relationship or opportunity - we hold on too tight, too.

But the only way to really grow and move past hard experiences is to loosen our grip. When you’re given a new chapter, the healthiest way forward is to let go.

Instead of closing our “eyes”, open our “I’s” and take ownership to be present.

Uncover Your Heart

Too often we are led by our brains, or by those around us, instead of by our hearts, especially when it comes to what really matters as change lands on our doorstep.

Use today to reflect. Ask yourself:

What are you afraid to share with others?
What takes your attention as soon as you awake? Or keeps you up at night?
What would crush you if you lost it?

Take inventory of where you are holding on for dear life, and where you’re finding purpose, as they’re often closely connected.

When I lost my mother, it felt like my life had reached a dark place, and I didn’t know what to do. I imagine others have felt similarly after losing a parent.

A friend once said, “You’re never really a man until you lose your father.”

What I didn’t realize was that she had given me something else: the gift of connection and an opportunity to use that moment to deliver an even greater impact.

Without that moment, we wouldn’t have Gents Journey, or be sharing these newsletters to impact your lives too.

She helped me reconnect to my own heart, rebuild a sense of community with Gents Journey, and reclaim my purpose: To Do Good. Give Back, and Make an Impact.

What can you let go of as this next chapter begins?

When we build our lives around circumstances, people, places, or ideas, they’re bound to collapse eventually. That’s when pain arrives to give us the gift of character, resilience, and hope, as we step into our purpose and the new chapter that has been waiting for us all along.

As Haruki Murakami once said, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

What’s the ‘story’ you’ve been telling yourself? That chapter has closed.

Try this: Put your hand over your heart. Then open it and let it go. Let that ‘story’ fall by the wayside and float down to the ground, like the leaves of an autumn breeze.

Release the expectations, the stories, and the need to feed your ego.

Turn the page to open up your next chapter.

Say to yourself: “I love myself, and I’m ready for this next chapter.”

If you’re brave enough, comment below and share what came up for you. Then send this to a friend or loved one who could benefit from hearing this too.

Thank you for sharing yourself with us in this community. You helped me turn the page in my life, and for that, I’m forever grateful. I love you, Mom, and miss you.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

PS: Here’s the tattoo I got to honor my mom, so now she’s with me every day.

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

We are planning a new group meeting in October to welcome all new members.

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

Gents Weekly: How to Face the Fear

Gents Journey — Mon, 14 Sep 2026 22:53:41 GMT

Welcome to issue #34 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.

New issues every Monday. Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Then do the thing you’re afraid of.

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

On overcoming fear

^{by Dean Bokhari}

Some of my fondest memories as a young kid were the summers I spent at a water park called Splish Splash, on Long Island, NY. I remember the first time I went; my older cousins wanted me to go on this really tall water slide called “The Cliff Hanger”.

I was scared shitless… Dropping 8-stories in 3 seconds down a water slide called “The Cliff Hanger” wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when we were on our way to the water park.

Needless to say, I gave in to the peer pressure. And so, there I was, climbing stair after stair; story after story, trying my best to think of something — anything — to help me overcome this fear that seemed to be engulfing my entire body.

By the time we got to the very top of the speed-slide, I’d already seen 6 people—men, women, and children—chicken out. Sometimes the people climbing up the stairs clucked like chickens at the ones who’d decided to take the walk of shame all the way back down to the bottom. (I probably would’ve thought that was funny if I wasn’t thinking about doing the same thing.)

As I approached the very top of the slide, I was making excuses about how cold and windy it was to cover up the fact that I was now shaking in my swimming trunks. It was 96°F outside. Once we got up top, I looked over the edge of the rails, all the way down to the bottom of the 8-story slide.

My stomach turned… Now I was really freaking out. It was like I couldn’t help it. My heart was racing. My legs were shaking. And I was trying my best to pretend like none of it was happening.

BUT IT WAS HAPPENING — I was filled with fear, and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. So, how’d I overcome the fear and build the confidence to go down that slide once and for all?

I actually didn’t overcome the fear. But I did go down that damn slide.

Even though I was scared out of my mind when I got up to the top of that slide, I mustered up a way to feel the fear and do it anyway. And ya know what? I did it again and again after that. I was nervous on every run. But I did it anyway. Eventually, the fear subsided (a little bit).

You know that feeling you get when you look down from the edge of a building that’s really, really high? … You know you’re safe, but you feel a little anxious nonetheless. As it turns out, this is a biological response our bodies produce to protect us from harm.

Think about it — millions of years ago, we didn’t have the pleasure of looking down at a city from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

The closest thing we had to that was a cliff. And back before buildings and skyscrapers — when we were nothing more than hunters and gatherers — looking down from somewhere high wasn’t usually a good thing…

Back then, if you were up against a cliff, it’s usually because you’re trying to figure out how to: a) stay alive, or b) find food.

And our bodies would respond accordingly to help us make that happen (to make the kill, or get away from becoming the kill).

Bottom line: fear is a good thing.

In fact, it’s a perfectly natural biological response that’s actually there to help us.

Let me give you a couple examples:

For our ancestors, fear USED to look like this: “If I don’t take immediate action, then this lion will rip me to shreds”
For you and me, fear NOW looks more like this: “If I don’t take immediate action, then my wife will divorce my ass.” or like this: “If I don’t start doing what I love for a living, right now while I’m still young enough to do so, then I’ll live the rest of my life in regret.”

In more practical terms…

The most effective way to overcome fear is to cultivate the courage to take action in spite of how afraid you may be.

So feel the fear.

Something good will almost always come of it.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

Share this with someone you think it could inspire.

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

Bring Fear Along for the Ride

Watch: Why you should define your fears instead of your goals

You will never outrun fear.

Why not bring it along for the ride?

Growing up, I had ear surgery seven times, and I remember coming home during Christmas breaks and sitting in pain while watching TV for several weeks at a time.

Along the way, I developed white coat syndrome. That’s when your blood pressure and stress begin to rise when you see a doctor or their white lab coat. The second I saw a doctor coming, my chest would tighten up, and my anxiety would skyrocket.

Perhaps you freeze up the same way when fear shows up in your life too?

F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real.

Eventually I learned to deal with it by building my own private happy place: an island in Hawaii. That was my late mother's favorite destination, where we once spent Thanksgiving together at Disney's Aulani.

When I sat in the office, I would visualize being on the sunny shores of Oahu, and I’d immediately relax and start thinking more positively. I let go and gave it to God.

What's your happy place?

Name the Voice in Your Head

What lives underneath fear? A story.

It’s the narrative that plays consistently inside your mind, such as "I'm not good enough," or "you don't deserve this.”

As a people pleaser, that story played on repeat, even though I knew it wasn’t true, until a mentor suggested giving it a name. And so I did.

I decided to call the voice in my head, “People Pleasing Peter.”

Your inner monologue only wants to be heard, and instead of listening to it, you can acknowledge it and bring it along for the ride.

Try this:

Name the voice in your head. It loses power when named.
Ask if it's rational. Sometimes fear is a story you’re telling yourself.
Feel it, don't fight it. Let the energy move through you instead of clenching against it. Envision your happy place.
Breathe it out. Find where it lives in your body, hold your hand there, and release it. Take 2 quick breaths in and one long one out.

Some fear is real, whether it’s life or death. But most of it is just a story we made up.

Exercise Your Fear Muscle

Tim Ferriss suggests treating fear like a muscle in The 4-Hour Workweek.

Fear is something you train, not wait out or avoid altogether.

Try one thing a day that scares you a little to get better at it.

Connect with that colleague you’ve been meaning to say hello to.
Tell the person at the counter that you like their eyes or smile.
Go out and sign up for that class you’ve been “waiting to try.”

Nike said it best: three words is all it takes to overcome fear.

Or as Tony Robbins says, "If you're not growing, you're dying."

Oddly enough, when I started The Seidel Agency, my first clients were plastic surgeons. As a child, I was once terrified of doctors and their white lab coats, and now I’m helping them and their patients live alongside fear, instead of running from it.

What do you call the voice in your head?

Comment below and share its name and your happy place.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

✨ PREMIUM MEMBERS ONLY

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

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The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
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Gents Weekly: Labor Day is almost here

Gents Journey — Tue, 01 Sep 2026 02:19:21 GMT

Welcome to issue #33 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.

New issues every Monday. Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Gents Weekly: Spending Quality Time with Your Kids

Gents Journey — Mon, 24 Aug 2026 22:15:56 GMT

Welcome to issue #32 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.

New issues every Monday. Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

30 Ways To Make Exercise Enjoyable—A Fitness Guide For The Modern Man

Gents Journey — Tue, 18 Aug 2026 12:04:50 GMT

30 WAYS TO MAKE EXERCISE ENJOYABLE:
A Fitness Guide for the Modern Man

Here are 30 simple (and fun) ways to add exercise into your daily routine. Take what works for you and incorporate it into your schedule.

Enjoy, gents.

1. Hopscotch with the kids

Grab some chalk, draw out a hopscotch table, and enjoy the light cardio.

2. Chop wood

According to a study out of UC Santa Barbara, regularly chopping wood for about an hour can lead to a 46.8% to 48.6% increase in testosterone, compared to a 30.1% increase from playing soccer.

3. Baby back pushups

Grab one of your kids, get in pushup position, and tell them to stand on your back. See how many you can crank out.

Gents Weekly: Making Exercise Fun

Gents Journey — Tue, 18 Aug 2026 00:46:49 GMT

Welcome to issue #31 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.

New issues every Monday. Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

How do you make exercise fun?

^{by Dean Bokhari}

Exercise is a chore for most men.

And if you can’t get yourself to enjoy it, it’ll be a lot harder to do it.

One way to make exercise fun is to engage in physical activities you actually enjoy: sports, weight-lifting, hiking, etc.

Another way to make exercise more enjoyable is to turn it into a habit.

Habits put your actions on auto-pilot…

And just like brushing your teeth every morning — when a behavior becomes a habit, you just do it automatically.

In this week’s issue of the Gents Weekly, we’re covering how to make working out both fun and habitual.

Let’s dive in.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

Share this with someone you think it could inspire.

📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: Making Exercise Fun

Exercise doesn’t have to suck. Here’s how to make it actually enjoyable.

Most guys treat exercise like punishment. Grit your teeth. Power through. No pain, no gain. Get it done.

But here’s the thing: You’re way more likely to keep doing something if it’s actually fun.

And fun doesn’t mean less intense. It just means you’re not miserable.

Maybe it’s jogging faster to catch different sights. Maybe it’s running a new route and actually looking around instead of just grinding. Maybe it’s finding a post-workout ritual that becomes something you actually look forward to. Maybe it’s adding a challenge, a competition, a game, a reward.

Whatever it is, the goal is the same: Turn exercise from something you have to do into something you want to do.

This prompt helps you figure out what would make moving your body actually enjoyable.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I want to stop hating exercise and start actually enjoying it. Help me figure out what would make moving my body something I look forward to instead of something I have to grind through.

Help me:

1. AUDIT your current exercise routine (Be honest)
   - What are you currently doing? (Running? Gym? Sports? Bodyweight?)
   - Do you actually enjoy it? (1-10, be real)
   - What part sucks the most? (The grind? The boredom? The soreness after?)
   - What part, if any, feels good?
   - Why do you think you're not enjoying it?

2. IDENTIFY what would make it fun
   - What if you changed the route/location? (New scenery? Something to explore?)
   - What if you added a challenge? (Faster pace to see something new? New route? Race against yesterday?)
   - What if you added a game? (Competition with yourself? Tracking something? Hitting a new personal record?)
   - What if you added a reward? (Post-workout protein shake? Cold plunge? Specific snack? Something to look forward to?)
   - What if you did it with someone? (Buddy system? Group class? Friendly competition?)

3. FIGURE out your "why" for this specific exercise
   - Why did you start doing this movement in the first place?
   - What's the reward you're actually after? (Strength? Clarity? Stress relief? Health? Looking better?)
   - Is your current routine actually giving you that reward?
   - Or is it just... a thing you do because you think you should?

4. BUILD your fun factor
   - SCENERY: What's one new route or location you could try?
   - CHALLENGE: What's one way you could gamify this? (Speed? Distance? Time? Frequency?)
   - REWARD: What's something small you could do after that you actually look forward to?
   - COMMUNITY: Is there someone you could do this with? Or is solo better?
   - RITUAL: What's the one thing that would make you want to do this again tomorrow?

5. CREATE your new exercise routine (The fun version)
   - What are you changing about how you move?
   - What's the ONE thing that would make you actually look forward to it?
   - When are you testing this new approach?
   - How will you know it's working? (You actually want to do it? You're less drained after? You feel alive?)

Here's what I'm currently doing: [Describe your exercise routine]

Here's why I don't enjoy it: [What's the real problem?]

Here's what would actually make it fun: [What calls to you?]

Here's my new approach: [How are you changing it?]

Don't let me stay in punishment mode. Help me find the fun in moving my body.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you figure out what would actually make movement enjoyable—not someday, but starting this week.

By the end, you’ll have:

Clarity on why your current routine isn’t hitting
A list of ways to add fun (scenery, challenge, reward, community, ritual)
A specific shift you’re making immediately
A new post-workout reward or ritual
Permission to stop grinding and start enjoying

WHY THIS MATTERS

Exercise that’s a punishment never lasts. You’ll white-knuckle it for a few weeks, then quit.

But exercise that’s fun? That you look forward to? That you want to do because it makes you feel alive or challenges you or gives you something to chase?

That’s the kind that sticks.

The guys who stay in shape aren’t more disciplined than you. They just found a way to make it enjoyable.

Run this prompt. Find your fun. Make exercise something you want to do.

Drop ONE thing you’re changing to make exercise more enjoyable. Let’s see who’s turning the grind into something they actually enjoy.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Exercise Should Feel Like Living, Not Punishment

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

When in a Pickle, Try Pickleball

Growing up, tennis was my favorite sport, but then I tore my meniscus. I had to find something just as fun, but a bit easier on my body.

Then I found Pickleball; it’s as if tennis and Wiffle ball had a baby.

You can still hit the ball hard; it stays in play, and it’s lower-impact and less intense. Not to mention, courts are popping up everywhere, including Country Boys Brewing’s PKL near me in Lexington, KY.

Beer AND Exercise? Yes, please.

Top Spin — Bend down and come over the ball to create movement. Harder for the opponent to read, more likely to stay in bounds.
Footwork — Everything starts here. No shot works without it. Same as life: the foundation always comes first.
The Reset — A soft lob when you’re out of position. Less is more. Sometimes the move isn’t to swing harder — it’s to buy yourself a moment to reset and reposition.

These aren’t just pickleball tips, but also how high-performing men operate daily.

Everything you do should create connection and movement, alongside a solid foundation where you feel comfortable resetting, if needed.

Exercise Should Be Fun, Not a Sentence

Pickleball is now a professional sport, and it’s under consideration for the Olympics.

More importantly, it’s my top choice for making exercise something you actually look forward to, while it checks off nearly every pillar in our 7 Pillars of Manhood.

Friendship: Best played in doubles, so call your BFF to catch up on life, and bond over who dominated the kitchen. Just a heads up, the “kitchen” is the NVZ, or non-volley zone, when playing.
Family: On vacation? Challenging your in-laws to a game? Everyone wins, well, sort of.
Fun: If it’s fun, it gets done, and we’ve never met anyone who played a game of pickleball and didn’t enjoy it.
Focus: A mental game, like golf or tennis. Training your mind matters as much as training your body.
Fitness: Get endorphins flowing, as it beats another YMCA deadlift session.
Freedom: There’s nothing like stepping outside your four walls and swinging freely - no desk, no screens, just open air and the click-clack of your paddle.
Faith: We’ve all prayed to get that 2nd serve in.

Like anything, the biggest results come from taking action and committing to showing up.

Try This: Call up your local YMCA or Pickleball Center and book a court.

Invite your colleague, boss, or friend and see how many pillars you check off. After you’re done, take out your journal and write how you feel and how it went.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

✨ PREMIUM MEMBERS ONLY

30 WAYS TO MAKE EXERCISE ENJOYABLE:
A Fitness Guide for the Modern Man

Here are 30 simple (and fun) ways to add exercise into your daily routine. Take what works for you and incorporate it into your schedule.

Gents Weekly: 11 Essential Items Every High-Performing Man Needs to Have

Gents Journey — Mon, 10 Aug 2026 22:54:16 GMT

Welcome to issue #30 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man. New issues posted every Monday. Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

For this week’s issue of the Gents Weekly, we’re going to try something different.

The world’s going analog again. And we’re here for it.

Film cameras are outselling expectations. Vinyl keeps climbing. Paper notebooks are back in style.

And “dumb” phones are a genuine category now.

Something’s shifting.

Men who spent a decade optimizing every app and automating every habit are starting to crave friction again — the kind that makes you slow down and actually feel present.

In today’s issue, we’re stripping away our usual structure—and replacing it with a simple list of the 11 essential products every high-performing gent needs to have.

Here at Gents Journey, we live by the 7 Pillars of Manhood, which are: Friendship, Faith, Fun, Fitness, Family, Freedom, and Focus… The products you surround yourself with either support those seven pillars or work against them.

We spoke with over a thousand high-performing men to put this list together—so you don’t have to.

Enjoy.

11 Essentials For High-Performing Men

You’ll find three product recommendations for each of the eleven categories listed below: Dean’s pick, Matt’s pick, and Steve’s pick. (Please note that we may receive affiliate commissions when you purchase a product we recommend—we appreciate your support.)

1. A quality time-piece

A watch is the one accessory a man wears every single day, and it says something about you before you ever open your mouth. It’s also a daily reminder that time is the one asset you can’t buy back.

Dean’s Pick: Omega Seamaster (fun fact: it’s James Bond’s time-piece of choice.)
Matt’s Pick: Seiko Sport (fun fact: It’s the same watch Arnold Schwarzenegger sports.)
Steve’s Pick: MVMT Mulholland Racer for a fresh look at a decent price point.

2. A premium paper notebook

Writing by hand slows your thinking down enough to actually think — and most of the leaders we know still do it. When you write something down, you’re forced to choose your words instead of just letting them spill out… It’s why Tarantino still writes scripts with a typewriter.

Dean’s Pick: reMarkable Paper 2 e-ink tablet is next level for productivity.
Matt’s Pick: Yellow Legal Pads with no spines to help southpaws write effortlessly.
Steve’s Pick: Moleskine Classic Notebook for simple notetaking.

3. A high-quality pen

Dean’s Pick: Montblanc Meisterstuck Classique Black Rollerball Pen
Matt’s Pick: Parker Jotter original Ballpoint Pen
Steve’s Pick: PaperMate markers to color code my journal entries.

4. Headphones

High-performing men embrace the power of deep work — and deep work requires focus… something that’s getting harder to protect by the day.

The right pair of headphones eliminate distraction whether you’re on a plane, in an open office, or just trying to think in a house full of noise. We’re also seeing a huge trend in this arena: many men are going back to wired headphones to protect against the potential long-term negative impact of bluetooth waves.

Dean’s Pick: Apple EarPods Headphones
Matt’s Pick: Bose QuietComfort Ultra EarBuds
Steve’s Pick: Sony MDR7506 Professional Large Diaphragm Headphones

5. Fitness equipment

Fitness is one of our 7 Pillars of Manhood for a reason — it’s the foundation everything else stands on. If you’re a regular gym-goer, you’re safe to keep scrolling. Otherwise, take heed: a home gym setup removes the excuse of “I didn’t have time to get to the gym.”

Dean’s Pick: Olympic Barbell with Bumper Plates
Matt’s Pick: Go to a local gym and try my workout, Ultimate Gents Journey workout.
Steve’s Pick: The Bowflex All-in-One 50 lb Adjustable Dumbbell Set

6. Quality clothing basics

Trends fade. Fit doesn’t. The men we respect most aren’t chasing what’s new — they’ve built a wardrobe of neutral colors, excellent fit, and fabrics that hold up. Less decision fatigue in the morning, more polish by the time you walk into the room.

What we like: crisp solid tees and versatile blazers that work for every occasion you didn’t plan for.

Dean’s Pick: Crew Neck Tree Shirt by One Golden Thread for the eco-conscious gent.
Matt’s Pick: Levi’s 501 Jeans for the classic look.
Steve Pick: Calvin Klein White V-Neck t-shirts to go with any outfit.

7. Coffee

What we use: a pour-over setup for the slow mornings, or a proper espresso machine when there’s no time to slow down. And if you’re drowning it in milk or sugar, you might want to rethink your day and read up on “bulletproof coffee” from Laird Hamilton.

Dean’s Pick: Nespresso Lattissima One Original Espresso
Matt’s Pick: Dunkin Donuts Original Blend takes me back to childhood.
Steve’s Pick: LaColombe from my fellow Philadelphian Todd Carmichael.

8. Books

Rather than treating books as decoration, high-performing men build a reference library of tomes with a wide-range of titles from various genres: leadership, psychology, personal growth, negotiation, biography, philosophy, finance, and more.

Books we keep coming back to: Atomic Habits, The Psychology of Money, Can’t Hurt Me, Meditations, Essentialism, and The Almanack of Naval Ravikant. Continuous learning compounds.

What we like: a physical shelf for the books you’ll reread, and a Kindle for everything else.

Dean’s Pick: The Way of the Superior Man
Matt’s Pick: On the Road by Jack Kerouac for a great story about brotherhood.
Steve’s Pick: No More Mr. Nice Guy to take your power back as a man.

9. Recovery + nutrition

High-performing men treat recovery as part of performance, not separate from it. Sleep trackers, cooling mattress systems, foam rollers, blackout curtains — none of it is glamorous, but all of it protects the energy you need for the other six pillars.

What we use: an Eight Sleep cooling mattress cover, or a simple silk eye mask and white noise machine when you’re on the road.

Dean’s Pick: AG1 Greens Powder Superfood, 75 Vitamins and Probiotic Blend
Matt’s Pick: Clean Simple Eats Whey Isolate Protein Powder, Simply Vanilla
Steve’s Pick: Shark CryoGlow LED Face Mask, which my wife bought that I use.

10. Everyday carry (EDC)

What you carry says a lot about how prepared you are for the moment in front of you.

Slim wallet, portable charger, a multi-tool, an organized key holder — simple, functional, no bulk.

What we like: a Ridge wallet, a Leatherman multi-tool, and pock-sized productivity cards for getting things done.

Dean’s Pick: 1-2-5 Daily Productivity Cards
Matt’s Pick: Listen to what Matt carries in his pockets on Spotify.
Steve’s Pick: Tea Tree Therapy Toothpicks

11. Footwear

Your shoes say a lot about you, whether you’re a Dad, sporty, fashionable or simply need solid comfort.

Dean’s Pick: Allbirds Men’s Tree Lounger Slip-ons for easy, versatile, casual comfort.
Matt’s Pick: New Balance Men’s M2002RCC Sneaker are the ULTIMATE DAD SHOE.
Steve’s Pick: Rainbow Sandals Flip Flops for great support in sweaty weather.

Until next week,
—The Gents

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The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
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Gents Weekly: Routine Reset

Gents Journey — Mon, 03 Aug 2026 23:22:58 GMT

Welcome to issue #29 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Watch & Listen | Breathing Exercises for Anxiety | 2:1 Breathing Technique

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

Habits + routines

^{by Dean Bokhari}

It’s the final month of summer, and as your children prepare to go back to school, you’ll no doubt experience a shift in your daily rhythm.

And whenever that happens, it’s a good idea to review your habits:

Which habits do you want to protect and maintain as your schedule shifts?
Which habits do you want to build?
Which habits do you need to break?

Today, I’m going to share a preview with you from a Habit Building Challenge I put on for members of my personal development community, Club 12.

It’s about a concept called habit stacking - which is one of the best ways to build and maintain habits.

Here’s how it works:

You identify a current habit you already do each day, and then you stack your new behavior on top of it.

Habit stacking is known in behavioral psychology as an implementation intention. In one study published in the British Journal of Health Psychology, researchers looked at two groups of people trying to build an exercise habit:

Group 1: the group that simply relied on motivation, had a 35% success rate.
Group 2: the group that explicitly stated when and where they would exercise, had a 95% success rate.¹

That. Is. HUGE.

Your brain already has powerful neural pathways built around your current habits—things like brushing your teeth, making coffee, or turning off your alarm…

With habit stacking, all we’re doing is piggybacking on top of those existing pathways.

Here’s a formula you can utilize for creating your own habit stacks:

After I [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].

Some examples:

Reading: After I brush my teeth in the morning, I’ll read for 20 minutes.
Relationships: As soon as I get into bed each evening, I’ll tell my partner one thing about him/her that I’m grateful for.
Daily Planning: While I wait for my morning coffee to brew, I’ll write down my one most important goal for the day.

You can utilize habit stacking for virtually any habit you’re working to develop. Just keep in mind that the key to habit stacking is to tie your desired habit/behavior to something you’re already doing on a daily basis.

Actionable insights

Think of a habit you currently have. Identify one rock-solid daily habit you already do everyday without fail. (Brushing your teeth, making your morning coffee, etc.)
Next, think of a habit you want to develop. For today, we’ll use the tiny habit you created in Day 1.
Now, use the habit stacking formula to bring it together and make it happen:
- “After I [CURRENT HABIT], I will do my [NEW HABIT/TINY HABIT].”
- Ex: “After I turn on the coffee maker, I will do my 10 pushups.”
- Ex: “After I brush my teeth, I will read one page of my book.”

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

Share this with someone you think it could inspire.

📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: Mid-Year Reset

Half the year is gone. What are you actually doing every day?

You’re six months in.

January’s excitement is long gone. The habits you swore you’d build? Some stuck. Most didn’t. And the routines you’re running right now—sleep, food, movement, meditation—are probably the same ones that got you here.

Which is fine. If you like where you’re at.

But if you don’t? If you’re tired, soft, unfocused, or just... off? Now’s the time to notice it.

Not in some harsh, judgmental way. Just: What am I actually doing every day? Does it serve me? What needs to shift?

The good news: You don’t have to reinvent everything. Small shifts in nutrition, movement, sleep, and stillness compound fast. By year-end, you could be in a completely different place.

This prompt helps you audit your daily routine and build something that actually works.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I'm halfway through the year and I want to reset my daily routine. Not a complete overhaul—just smart shifts in what I eat, how I move, when I sleep, and if I'm taking time to be still. Help me see what's working, what's not, and what small changes could change everything by year-end.

Help me:

1. AUDIT your current daily routine (Be brutally honest)
   - What time do you wake up? What's the first thing you do?
   - What do you eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner? (Real answer, not what you think you should eat)
   - How much are you actually moving? (Work out? Walk? Sit all day?)
   - When do you go to bed? How's your sleep quality? (1-10, be real)
   - Are you meditating, journaling, or taking any time for stillness? (Or is it go, go, go?)
   - What's working? What's dragging you down?

2. IDENTIFY the one thing destroying your routine
   - Is it sleep? (Can't fall asleep? Waking up early? Interrupted?)
   - Is it food? (Eating trash? Skipping meals? Too much caffeine?)
   - Is it movement? (Sedentary? Injured? Just not feeling it?)
   - Is it mental stillness? (No meditation, no downtime, always on?)
   - What's the ONE thing that if you fixed it, would change everything else?

3. DIAGNOSE the real problem (Not the surface excuse)
   - You say "I don't have time to work out" — what's the real problem? (Motivation? Energy? Injury? No plan?)
   - You say "I can't sleep" — what's actually happening? (Stress? Phone in bed? Too much caffeine? Racing thoughts?)
   - You say "I eat bad" — what's driving it? (Convenience? Stress eating? No real food around?)
   - Get to the actual root. That's where the shift happens.

4. BUILD your mid-year reset routine
   - SLEEP: What's ONE thing that would improve your sleep? (Earlier bed? Phone off earlier? Blackout curtains? Cool room?)
   - NUTRITION: What's ONE thing you could change? (Add protein? Skip the late-night snacking? Drink more water? Meal prep one meal?)
   - MOVEMENT: What's ONE thing you could add? (Morning walk? Lunch-time workout? Bodyweight stuff at home? Even 15 minutes counts)
   - STILLNESS: What's ONE thing you could protect time for? (5-min meditation? Walk without phone? Journaling? Just sitting?)

5. CREATE your commitment (Make it real)
   - What are you changing starting TODAY?
   - What's non-negotiable? (What won't you skip?)
   - When are you checking in on this? (Week 1? Week 4?)
   - How will you know it's working? (Feel? Energy? Strength? Sleep quality?)

Here's my current daily routine: [Walk me through a typical day]

Here's what's actually working: [What are you crushing?]

Here's what's destroying me: [What needs to shift?]

Here's my mid-year reset: [What's changing, starting now?]

Don't let me overcomplicate this. Help me see what one shift could change everything.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you see your routine clearly—without judgment. It’s going to identify the ONE thing that’s actually dragging you down and show you how to shift it.

By the end, you’ll have:

A clear picture of your current routine (all of it)
The real problem identified (not the excuse, the actual issue)
Four micro-shifts (sleep, nutrition, movement, stillness)
A starting point for today
A check-in plan so you actually follow through

WHY THIS MATTERS

You’re halfway through the year. Half your time is gone.

But here’s the thing: You have six months left. Six months is enough time to completely reset your daily routine. To fix your sleep. To change your nutrition. To add real movement. To build stillness into your day.

The guys who do this by December? They’re not the same guys who did it in June. Everything shifts.

Small daily shifts. Compounded over six months. That’s how you end the year stronger, sharper, and healthier.

Run this prompt. Audit your routine. Reset it.

Drop ONE thing you’re changing starting today. Let’s see who’s resetting their routine.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Six Months Left. Reset Starts Now.

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

It’s Now or Never

What works without any effort on our part?

Well, it’s two: our heart and our breathing.

The video shares a simple breathing technique to help you shift your body out of fight-or-flight mode and back into rest-and-digest mode.

Give it a try; some results you might see: falling asleep after years of anxiety, lowering your blood pressure, fewer panic attacks, and using it every day before bed.

The truth is, most of us don’t need another productivity hack.

We need a reset.

When we slow our breathing, we teach our bodies that life isn’t an emergency.

Your Life is NOT an Emergency

If you’re like me, you’ve been going all summer-long, like the Kid Rock song.

The kids are up all night, the schedule’s shot, and your routines have disappeared.

You might find yourself losing your patience and reacting (to patterned behaviors), instead of giving yourself space to respond.

Sometimes my brain tells me life is an emergency, like the video below.

Growing up in a divorced home, I became a people pleaser.

I learned to smooth things over, fix problems quickly, and speed towards a solution. However, after lots of work on myself, I now notice when that voice in my head starts taking over, and I acknowledge him.

I call him “People-Pleasing Peter.”

Perhaps you have a voice in your head you can name too?

The moment I notice “People-Pleasing Peter”, I acknowledge him and take a breath to help myself respond vs. react, and give myself the grace to move forward how I would like to, not as my patterned response or the story I’ve told myself over the years.

Reset Your Routine

As summer winds down and you prepare to go back to school, consider implementing a simple reset for you (and your family).

Take inventory:

Sleep: Are you getting enough? Do you have a steady bedtime?
Nutrition: Are you fueling your body well? Nightly meals together?
Movement: Are you active every day? Do you work out in the morning?
Screens: Are you creating time to disconnect? Do you limit blue light?

Our kids don’t just need less screen time. They need more imagination … (and rest).

Try This: Begin your school-year routine one week early. Earlier bedtimes, consistent wake-up times, and fewer screens help create a sense of rhythm, security, and calm.

For me, the biggest domino is waking up earlier.

Waking up earlier, inspired by Robin Sharma's 5 AM Club, has become my daily routine reset, providing a quiet space to breathe, think clearly, and lead my day instead of letting it lead me.

Start small.

Move your bedtime back five minutes tonight.

Then five more tomorrow.

Sometimes the biggest reset begins with the smallest habit.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
Substack | Apple Podcasts | Spotify

Gents Weekly: Testosterone-maxxing

Gents Journey — Mon, 27 Jul 2026 23:03:19 GMT

Welcome to issue #28 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

Testosterone

^{by Dean Bokhari}

There was a time when men worked with their bodies instead of against them.

They woke with the sun and lifted heavy things. They walked everywhere instead of driving. They ate real food and went to sleep when it got dark.

Their environment demanded strength, and their hormones responded.

Today, the opposite is true.

Men spend more time sitting than standing.

They sleep less than they should, live under constant stress, eat ultra-processed food, and stare at glowing screens until midnight.

It’s no wonder why so many men feel so exhausted.

So, what does this have to do with testosterone?

Testosterone involves much more than just building muscle…

When your t-levels are low, your ambition suffers and your energy levels plummet.

But when your t-levels are healthy, you feel strong, energized, and confident.

You start waking up with the energy you need to attack the day, instead of merely surviving it.

So here’s the big question: How can you stimulate healthy testosterone production without jamming a needle in your ass?

I’ve got a few tips…

Here are the highest-leverage habits for men who want to stimulate healthy testosterone production:

Lift heavy and focus on compound movements 3–5 times per week. Especially squats.
Sleep 7–9 hours every night. Protect it like your career depends on it. Your body produces testosterone while you sleep.
Get outside. Morning sunlight helps regulate your circadian rhythm and supports hormone health.
Eat enough protein and healthy fats. Hormones are built from the nutrients you provide.
Stay lean. Excess body fat can negatively affect testosterone levels and promote estrogen production (the last thing you want is gynecomastia (aka: man-boobs).
Walk daily. Movement lowers stress and improves overall metabolic health.
Manage stress before it manages you. Chronically elevated cortisol and testosterone don’t coexist well.
Prioritize zinc, magnesium, and vitamin D if you’re testosterone levels are deficient.
Drink less alcohol. Or stop completely.
Build a life that challenges you. Men thrive when they have purpose, responsibility, and meaningful work.

Testosterone maxxing isn’t about chasing some internet trend.

It’s about becoming the kind of man whose daily habits naturally produce strength.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

Share this with someone you think it could inspire.

📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: Testosterone-Maxxing

Your test levels don’t have to crash. Here’s what actually works.

Real talk: If you’re 40+, your testosterone is probably 20-30% lower than it was at 25.

That’s just biology. It happens to all of us.

But here’s what nobody tells you: You can fight it. Not with expensive clinics or steroids. With cheap, simple, effortless stuff you can do today.

Better sleep. Heavier squats. Cold water. Less stress. Specific supplements. Sunlight. Moving your body. All of it works. All of it’s free or nearly free.

This prompt helps you figure out what you’re already doing right that’s boosting your test, and what simple additions could take it even higher without complicating your life.

Because testosterone-maxxing doesn’t mean grinding for 2 hours at the gym. It means being intentional about a few things and watching the compound effect happen.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I'm 40+ and I know my testosterone has probably taken a hit. But I don't want to stress about it or overthink it. Help me see what I'm already doing right and give me 5-10 dead-simple, cheap, effortless things I can add to actually boost my levels.

Help me:

1. AUDIT what you're already doing (Give yourself credit)
   - How many times a week are you moving heavy things? (Squats, deadlifts, etc.)
   - How's your sleep? (7+ hours? 5? Be honest)
   - Are you in sunlight regularly?
   - How's your stress level? (1-10, real honest answer)
   - What's your diet like? (Protein? Whole foods? Garbage? Somewhere in between?)
   - Are you already doing anything intentionally for testosterone?

Score yourself: What are you actually crushing at? Where are the easy wins?

2. IDENTIFY the cheapest, easiest wins
   - What ONE thing could you add this week that's literally free?
   - What ONE supplement under $20/month could move the needle?
   - What ONE movement could you add to your routine?
   - What lifestyle shift is actually doable?

3. GET SPECIFIC about supplements (The cheap ones that actually work)
   - Vitamin D (if you're not getting sun)
   - Zinc (if you're deficient—hard to know without testing)
   - Magnesium (helps sleep, helps test)
   - Creatine (cheap, proven, boring but works)
   - What else might be worth trying?

4. BUILD the effortless tactics
   - Cold shower? (2 minutes. Free. Proven.)
   - Morning sunlight? (Walk outside. Free. Game-changer.)
   - Heavy squats 2x/week? (If you're not already)
   - Better sleep? (What's ONE thing blocking your sleep?)
   - Less alcohol? (Seriously impacts test levels)
   - Stress management? (5 min meditation? Walk? Whatever works)

5. CREATE your testosterone game plan
   - What are you already doing right?
   - What's the ONE thing you're adding this week?
   - What's the ONE thing you're adding next week?
   - How do you track progress? (Feel? Energy? Strength gains? Actual testing?)
   - When do you check in on this?

Here's what I'm already doing: [Be honest about your routine]

Here's what's probably dragging my levels down: [Sleep? Stress? Diet? Alcohol? Sedentary?]

Here's what I'm willing to change: [Be real about what you'll actually do]

Don't let me overthink this. Give me the cheap, simple, effortless tactics that actually work.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you separate real science from bro-science. It’s going to show you what you’re already doing right and give you 5-10 tactical moves that cost almost nothing.

By the end, you’ll have:

A real picture of where your testosterone game stands
Credit for what you’re already crushing
5-10 cheap, effortless additions
A supplement game plan (if you want it)
A progression plan (not all at once, just smart stacking)
Permission to stop stressing and start winning

THE STATS (Why this matters)

Average guy loses 1% of testosterone per year after 30
By 40-50, you’re looking at 20-30% lower than your 25-year-old self
But: Guys who lift heavy, sleep well, manage stress, and get sunlight maintain 80-90% of their levels
That’s not decline. That’s winning.

WHY THIS MATTERS

Low testosterone isn’t just about feeling weak or not getting gains. It affects energy, mood, drive, libido, body composition, cognition. All of it.

But here’s the good news: You don’t need expensive clinics or questionable substances. Heavy lifting, sleep, sunlight, smart supplementation, and stress management actually work.

The best part? Most of it’s free or nearly free.

Run this prompt. Audit your game. Start stacking small wins.

Drop ONE testosterone-boosting tactic you’re adding this week. Let’s see who’s actually optimizing.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Testosterone-Maxxing The Smart Way

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

It’s Now or Never

Watch & Listen | 3 Proven Ways to Boost Your Testosterone

Two years ago, I looked in the mirror and told myself it was now or never.

I was on the other side of 45 and staring down 50, and I decided it was finally time to take my body and my health seriously. And as a result, testosterone played a big part.

As a PR consultant, most of my work happens in front of a computer or on a screen with clients, with the occasional chance meeting or strategic coffee along the way.

I wasn’t getting any younger, and I knew my vitality and my strength weren’t either.

It was time to stop coasting and start climbing.

From Men’s Health to My Health

I picked up a Men’s Health mag and did the routine they dubbed “the only full-body workout you’ll ever need.”

It worked for a while, then it went stagnant. Then I met a guy at the gym who happened to be a trainer, and we became friends. His name was Marcus. I taught him business. He taught me strength training.

Through sweat and strategies, we grew even closer and helped raise each other higher.

And slowly, day by day, I got stronger. So I decided to check my testosterone levels, and surprisingly, they were normal, and over time elevated slightly.

Not from a pill. From showing up.

And to reiterate on the video above, here’s what actually moved the needle:

Compound lifts. Bench, squat, deadlift, push-ups, pull-ups. The big movements that hit everything.
Big muscle groups. Chest, back, quads, hamstrings. Go where the mass is.
Shorter rest. Cut the time between reps, and it becomes a HIIT session, and your body responds.

I’m no bodybuilder, but I feel it in everything I do.

At 5’11”, 165 pounds with decent T-levels, I feel the healthiest in my life.

The Real Reason I Get Up

The gift of showing up, whether it’s for your wife, your kids, or most importantly yourself, was the key to unlocking my highest potential and boosting my T along the way.

My daughter said something to me the other day. “Dad, you’re going to be an old dad, and I want you around.”

So I told her, “Sweetie, you know how I get up every morning and hit the gym before you’re even awake? That’s for you. That’s so we can share a long life together.”

So when you get up, show up, and test up, you give yourself the grace to be vulnerable, vital, and vivacious in every phase of life.

Lastly, if you want to start boosting your testosterone, get your ass out of bed and into the gym. It’s just that simple.

And if that doesn’t work, well, there’s always HGH. ;)

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
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Gents Weekly: Hobby-maxxing

Gents Journey — Tue, 21 Jul 2026 00:48:09 GMT

Welcome to issue #27 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Watch & Listen I This Hobby Brought Me Back to Life

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

Manly hobbies

^{by Dean Bokhari}

As men, most of us are buried in obligations — work, bills, wife, kids, aging parents, and on and on.

With all these responsibilities, who the hell has time for a hobby?

If you nodded along to that, then I’d suggest you need a hobby more than anyone else.

Why?

Because hobbies are outlets. They give us an opportunity to channel our energy into something that matters to us.

Whether that’s building something, doing something, collecting something, or anything else — a solid hobby can be a respite for any man.

Personally, I’ve gotten in and out of several “manly” hobbies over the years…

I spent years (and far too much money) on a watch-collecting hobby that I’ve since lost interest in.

I’ve also spent a pretty penny on a pen-collecting hobby that I’ve also lost interest in.

And once I’m closer to the billionaire bracket, I’ll embark on a classic-car collecting hobby — which will also very likely be an absolute waste of money — but it’s something I’d still like to try. Because jumping into a drop-top 1964 Aston Martin DB5 on a Tuesday afternoon is a vibe I want to feel.

Having said that, collecting things as a hobby will not sustain your interest in any fulfilling way.

Sure, it feels good to get something you’ve been coveting, but that feeling doesn’t last.

And in my view, collecting doesn’t occupy your mind in the same productive way as doing or building something does.

There’s something about working with your hands that feels natural and fulfilling for a man.

Especially because most of us spend our working hours doing knowledge work.

So, here are a few of the hobbies I’m into right now.

Feel free to try them out for yourself.

My current hobbies:

Chopping wood - I’d say this is one of the manliest hobbies you could pick up next to woodworking. And I’ve been doing a lot of it lately. I hack away for a couple hours at a time at my ranch and it’s genuinely therapeutic. It’s also a heck of a workout.
Hiking
Lifting weights
Drawing and sketching
Reading old-ass physical books

Hobbies I’m thinking about trying:

Leather-working - I’d love to learn how to make hand-sewn leather-covered notebooks
Woodworking
Archery
Horseback riding
Playing polo

If you’re a pro at any of these five (especially the first two), leave a comment or DM me because I’m genuinely interested in learning more.

Hobbies I’ve tried and enjoyed in the past but no longer engage in:

Scotch and whiskey tasting - I no longer drink (for religious and health reasons) but awhile back, I took an interest in scotch and whiskey tasting. I learned about the wide world of Japanese whiskey, and Suntory’s beautifully bottled Hibiki Harmony quickly became a favorite for me. I also enjoyed distilleries like Blanton’s, Macallan, and Balvenie. Again, I no longer drink, but I’ll be honest - it was a fun run.
Swimming - This is one I’d like to get back into at some point
Shooting - Fun, but not something I do enough to call a hobby
Fishing - Fun, but not something I do enough to call a hobby
CrossFit - Didn’t like the vibe and culture

Lastly, I also played pickleball for the first time this past weekend - it was a blast! I can see it becoming a hobby if I can dedicate enough time toward mastering the game. We shall see.

So, what about you? What are your favorite hobbies? Which ones do you recommend? I’ve opened up the comments for this post because I legit want to know, so please drop comment with your own favorite hobbies or any hobbies you’d suggest might be worth trying out.

📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: Hobbies

Summer is the season to actually DO something.

Here’s what happens: You get to summer and suddenly you have time. The days are long. The weather’s nice. Your kids are out of school. And then... you do nothing with it.

You fall back into the same routines. Work, home, screen time. Days blur together. Summer passes.

But what if you actually picked something up this summer? What if you got a hobby? Something that’s just for you. Something that makes you move. Something that makes time stop.

A hobby isn’t about being good at something. It’s about doing something because it matters to you. Because it brings you joy. Because it’s yours.

Maybe it’s fishing. Maybe it’s building something. Maybe it’s teaching your kid something you love. Maybe it’s getting outside and moving. Maybe it’s learning something completely new.

This prompt helps you figure out what hobby is actually calling you—and how to protect time for it this summer.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I want to pick up a hobby this summer—something that's just for me, something that gets me outside or engaged, something that might involve my kids or something that's purely mine. Help me figure out what actually calls to me and how to make it real.

Help me:

1. Identify what actually brings you joy (Not what you think should)
   - What did you used to love doing before life got busy?
   - What do you find yourself daydreaming about?
   - What activity makes you lose track of time?
   - What would you do if you had zero judgment from anyone?
   - Is it outdoors? Building? Teaching? Learning? Moving? Creating?

2. Picture yourself doing it (Make it real)
   - What does it look like? (You, your kids, nature, garage, water, etc.)
   - How does it feel in your body?
   - Who's with you? (Solo? Kids? Partner? Friends?)
   - What time of day? (Early morning? Weekend? Weeknight after work?)
   - Why does this one matter to you right now?

3. Figure out the parenting angle (If that matters)
   - Is this something you want to do WITH your kids?
   - Or is this something that's just for you (and that's okay)?
   - If it's with your kids—what are you actually teaching them?
   - What memories are you building?
   - How does this hobby make you a better dad?

4. Identify what's holding you back
   - What excuse are you making? (Time? Money? Don't know where to start? Too old to learn?)
   - What's the real barrier? (Be honest)
   - What do you need to make this happen? (Gear? Space? Lessons? Permission?)
   - What would change if you just started anyway?

5. Create your summer hobby plan
   - What's the hobby?
   - When are you going to do it? (Pick a specific day/time)
   - What's the first move? (Buy gear? Find a spot? Invite someone? Take a lesson?)
   - How much time can you protect for this? (Even 30 minutes counts)
   - Who are you telling so you actually follow through?

Here's what I used to love: [What brings you joy?]

Here's what I want to do this summer: [The hobby that's calling]

Here's why it matters: [Why now? What's it about?]

Here's what's holding me back: [Be real about the barrier]

Don't let me rationalize this away. Help me actually pick something up and do it this summer.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you move past “I should pick up a hobby” to actually identifying what your soul is calling for.

By the end, you’ll have:

A clear picture of what hobby actually speaks to you
Understanding of why it matters
Clarity on whether this is solo or with your kids
A real barrier identified (and how to overcome it)
A specific plan to start this summer
Permission to protect time for something that’s just for you

WHY THIS MATTERS

Hobbies aren’t luxury. They’re survival. They’re the thing that keeps you sane, keeps you you, keeps you alive inside.

Most dads put hobbies on hold “until the kids are older” or “when work slows down.” That day never comes.

But summer? Summer is the invitation. The weather says yes. The long days say yes. Your kids might actually want to be with you doing something outside.

So pick something. Anything. And protect the time for it.

Because a dad who has something that brings him joy is a better dad. A better partner. A better human.

Run this prompt. Pick your hobby. Protect the time. Make summer mean something.

Drop the hobby you’re picking up this summer. Let’s see who’s actually doing something.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Hobbies Are How We Stay Alive

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

It’s Never Just a Hobby

Life had become mundane, the same sh*t every day, no sense of fun.

It felt like Groundhog Day, the movie, as I was going through the motions, and I felt a sense of lack. I was searching for joy and happiness, instead of allowing it to bubble up from within, from having a hobby.

Then I watched this guy challenge himself to dust off his sketchbooks he’d let collect cobwebs, and something clicked.

I decided to do the same thing and gave myself 14 days to reinvest in myself and a love lost. No pressure. Just showing up.

I chose to start playing tennis again, and it reminded me of something I’d almost forgotten.

Sometimes life gets in the way, but really it’s all about play.

Melting Wax and Making Magic

For our summer vacation, we decided to visit the Crayola Museum outside Easton, PA.

Did you know Crayola produces about 3 billion crayons annually?

I expected another boring museum, yet I watched in delight as my kids colored, made their own crayons, and melted wax into drawings and little sculptures.

It was like watching a building go up in time-lapse. Piece by piece, moment by moment. The satisfaction I felt was euphoric.

The awe.
The transformation.
The artistry.

No scores. No levels. No notifications.

Just color and imagination and a room full of creativity, completely lost in every hue and activity we experienced.

And it made me think, “Are the apps, the games, and the endless screens quietly stealing their sense of play, pleasure, and creativity?” Perhaps.

Either way, there might be a better story here.

Maybe a hobby doesn’t just kill time; it gives you your sense of time (and joy) back.

Why Hobbies Matter

If we’re lucky, our hobbies become our habits, and our habits become our career.

Just because a hobby doesn’t pay the bills doesn’t mean it isn’t just as important as your professional duties. As we get older, our friends, family, and sense of fun slowly fade into the limelight.

One of the best side effects of AI is watching people gravitate back toward real life. Toward genuine connection from being with people or engaging in life, head on and face first.

When you show up in person, it’s a whole lot more human and less transactional. That’s it. The whole game is showing up and creating.

Connection is your currency, and your hobby sets you on the journey.

You become an instrument. When you work with your hands, you let the divine flow through you. The world becomes your canvas.
You pull instead of push. There’s an old saying: if it’s fun, it gets done. You stop grinding and start pulling joy into your life. Push is effort. Pull is gravity.
You grow your circle. The same gravity that pulls in joy pulls in the people who love what you love, right into your inner circle.

Here’s my challenge for you: Pick something you’ve always loved but let slip, or start something brand new you’ve been quietly curious about. Then comment below and name it, so you have to hold yourself accountable.

Because your hobby isn't a distraction from your life.

It's the oracle pointing you back to it.

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

PS: A quick trivia for you. What Dad-rap artist said, "it's just a hobby I picked up in the hotel lobby?" Drop your answer in the comments. Or click here if you truly don't know.

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
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Gents Weekly: 90's Era Dads and Mixtapes

Gents Journey — Mon, 13 Jul 2026 21:56:15 GMT

Welcome to issue #26 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .

Watch & Listen I Growing up in the 90’s, we were really the last to LIVE

📝 THE MESSAGE

A timely piece from the gents.
↓

90s nostalgia

^{by Dean Bokhari}

The 90s was a heck of an era that “kids these days” will never truly understand…

The excitement of being dropped off at the mall so you could meet your friends at the arcade and play Street Fighter for six hours.

The nerves that come with actually asking that girl in person if she was interested (instead of hiding behind a screen).

And that damn 56k dial-up internet - courtesy of an AOL disc that came in the mail.

Today, rather than writing up a column, I’m leaving you with a series of 90s nostalgia clips that I, personally, can’t get enough of.

Makes me wish I had a time-machine, just so I could go back and relive it for a little while.

Enjoy, gentlemen, enjoy…

Sounds like the 90s.

Dunkaroooooos

Blockbuster, baby….

Arcades, Goosebumps books, and more from the 90s

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

Share this with someone you think it could inspire.

📰 THE MOMENT

Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
↓

This Week’s AI Prompt: The Mixtape Playlist

Make a playlist like it’s 1995. Intentional. Sequenced. Real.

Back in the nineties, you didn’t just throw songs together. You built a mixtape.

You’d sit with your tape deck, thinking about flow. About which song came next. About how one track led to another. Every song mattered. Every placement had a reason. The order was everything.

Now we have playlists. But most playlists are just... collections. Random. Algorithmic. Missing the soul of what a mixtape actually was.

This prompt helps you build a modern playlist with old-school mixtape energy. Intentional. Sequenced. A journey from start to finish. The kind of playlist you’d actually give to someone to say, “This is what I’m about. This is who I am right now.”

Then we’re taking it digital. You can plug it into Spotify AI to find similar songs. You can run it through Claude or ChatGPT to expand it, understand it deeper, or remix it.

But first? You build it like it’s 1995.

THE PROMPT:

Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:

I want to build a playlist the old-school way—like a nineties mixtape. Intentional. Sequenced. Real. Help me create something that actually means something.

Help me:

1. Identify the songs that matter to you (Your soul soundtrack)
   - What songs make you feel alive?
   - What songs remind you who you are?
   - What songs have you played a hundred times?
   - What songs make you want to move, think, or feel differently?
   - Pick 8-12 songs that genuinely move you (not what you think should move you)

2. Understand why each song matters
   - For each song: Why does this one hit? What does it make you feel?
   - Is it the lyrics? The beat? A memory attached to it?
   - What's it saying about where you're at right now?
   - What does this song represent about you?

3. Build the sequence (The mixtape flow)
   - What order should these songs go in?
   - How do they flow together?
   - Does it start quiet and build? Start energetic and evolve?
   - What's the emotional journey from first song to last?

4. Give your playlist a name and purpose
   - What's this playlist actually about?
   - What's the through-line connecting all these songs?
   - Who is this for? (Even if it's just you)
   - What's the story it tells?

5. Expand or remix it
   - Are there songs missing that should be on here?
   - What would you add to make it even more you?
   - Give me 3-5 similar songs I haven't heard that fit this vibe
   - Help me see what this playlist is really saying about me

Here are my core songs: [List your 8-12 songs]

Here's why these songs matter to me: [Explain what they mean]

Here's what my playlist is about: [What's the theme or story?]

Help me build something real. Something that sounds like me.

PRO TIP: Take it digital

Once you have your playlist:

Spotify AI: Copy your song list into Spotify’s AI playlist generator and it’ll find similar vibes to expand your collection.

Claude or ChatGPT: Plug this entire prompt (with your answers) into Claude or ChatGPT and ask:

“Help me expand this playlist with 5 new songs”
“What’s the deeper story behind these songs?”
“What does this playlist say about me?”
“Create a visual description of what this playlist looks and feels like”

The AI can help you see patterns, fill gaps, and deepen the meaning.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

The AI is going to help you build a playlist with real intention—the way mixtapes used to be made.

By the end, you’ll have:

A personal playlist of 8-12 songs that represent you
Understanding of why each song matters
A sequence that flows
A name and purpose for your playlist
Expansion ideas to make it even more powerful

WHY THIS MATTERS

Music is one of the most honest things about us. The songs you love, the ones you replay, the ones that make you move—they’re not a choice. They’re a signal.

Your playlist is a mirror. It shows you who you are right now. What moves you. What you’re searching for. What you’ve found.

That’s worth knowing. That’s worth protecting.

The nineties understood that. They understood that a playlist (or a mixtape) was a message.

Let’s bring that back.

Run this prompt. Build your playlist. Listen to who you actually are.

Drop your playlist name and one song that’s gotta be on it. Let’s see what moves you.

— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Your Playlist Is Your Story

👊 THE MOVES

Media for men.
↓

In the 90’s, You Had to Show Up

We grew up in the 90’s analog world, where if you wanted something, you went and got it. Tech wasn’t saving you or making it any easier.

To see Jurassic Park outside the theater, you drove to Blockbuster. You wanted a song, you sat by the radio, ready to record. You wanted to see someone, you had to make it happen, literally, without a cellphone.

And when you felt something for someone, you had to find a way too.

No likes on social media.
No memes, GIFs, or texts.
No sliding into DMs at midnight.

You had to SHOW UP, look them in the eye, and let them know how you felt.

Too many of us have become keyboard warriors now, hiding behind screens and algorithms, too afraid to show who we really are. But back then, when words failed us, and they often did, we had one move left.

The Art of the Mixtape

I was the kid listening for the songs that made me FEEL something. The Cure. Smashing Pumpkins. Alice in Chains, whose “Nutshell” still hits hard for me.

Then there was the ritual of it all. The lawn mowing routine. The chores our kids have never heard of. Paper routes. A shift at Circuit City or Blockbuster, trying to cop the hottest flick the second it hit the shelf.

Blockbuster is nearly extinct now, but people are keeping the spirit alive, turning abandoned library boxes into mini-Blockbusters to give away DVDs like little time capsules.

Back then, cash was king. Credit was for emergencies only, or you wrote a check, something 99% of the next generation couldn't even identify today. No UPCs, no swiping. And balancing your checkbook was the stuff CPAs' dreams were made of.

But the mixtape? That was your masterpiece.

They let you say the things you never could out loud. You'd dig through your archives, song by song, and hand someone a piece of your heart you were too scared to speak.

Rage Against the Machine for every renegade, protester, and locker room in America. Sade for the suitor, a quiet bet that one day you’d get to play that one face-to-face, in the heat of the moment. And don’t forget PM Dawn’s “Set Adrift on Memory Bliss.”

We now live a life stacked with irreplaceable memories, and we can only hope our kids get a fraction of it. We had Michael Jordan, Michael Jackson, and Prince. They have LeBron, Harry Styles, and Billie Eilish. Not bad. Just not the same.

Pass The Mic

Recently, I was at a baseball game with my buddy, a Hollywood comedy writer, taking selfie after selfie. He turned to me and said, "Can you get me doubles?" That brought me back to say the least, lol.

We never had that luxury. Back then, you planned every shot on a disposable, prayed they came out, and found out two weeks later at the counter. Usually you had maybe 3 usable photos, while the others were blurry, close-ups or overexposed.

So, how do we pass the mic to our children and future generations?

Give freely and deeply. Let your relationships marinate the way a mixtape did after spinning round and round for weeks, then check back in.
Plant the seeds. Let them germinate in their own time, and don’t rush things. We are on borrowed time anyway.
Pull out your AAA map or those old MapQuest printouts from a favorite trip, and remember it was never about the destination. It was the journey.

Connection is our currency.

And in true mixtape fashion, I’ll leave you with this. If you’re a real one, you already know the answer.

What did Mobb Deep say ain’t no such thing as?

Drop it in the comments. Or click here if you truly don’t know.

And lastly, check out the 90’s hit List by Gents Journey on Spotify:

—
Co-founder, Gents Journey

PS: What did we miss? Comment below to share your own hypercolor experiences.

🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS

Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.

↓

💻 REAL MEN HAVE A COACH IN THEIR CORNER

Stop playing small, step into the man you know you are.
_

We’re looking for ten men who want coaching and guidance to level up in life + work. If that’s you, fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch.

Until next week,
—The Gents

Inspired? Share this newsletter with another Gent you think it could help.

The Gents Weekly Podcast

The manliest podcast on the internet.

Listen & subscribe on
Substack | Apple Podcasts | Spotify

Gents Weekly: A World Cup of Common Ground

Gents Journey — Tue, 07 Jul 2026 03:03:02 GMT

Welcome to issue #25 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.

Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.

Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — , , and .