Welcome to issue #36 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.
New issues every Monday. Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — Dean Bokhari, Stephen Seidel, and Matt McManus.
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📝 THE MESSAGE
A timely piece from the gents.
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Stoic spirituality
by Dean Bokhari
This week’s issue of Gents Weekly is about tapping into your spiritual side.
And it’s hard to find a manlier approach to spirituality than that of the ancient Stoics.
So today, I’m sharing a summary of one of the most impactful spirituality books I’ve ever come across:
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
NOTE
This one’s exclusively for paid members of Gents Journey. To start reading it, scroll down to the bottom of this post. If you hit a paywall, you can unlock it here.
— Dean Bokhari
Co-founder, Gents Journey
📰 THE MOMENT
Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
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The Ask That Answered
I’ve mentioned this before, and I mention it a lot: I was raised Catholic. Church every Sunday. Sunday school. Irish Catholic family in New York.
But here’s the thing. Regardless of how my parents wanted to raise me spiritually, I always had a deep connection with my higher power.
That phrase stuck with me. “Higher power.” My mom was a sponsor in a 12 step program, and in order to work the steps, you have to arrive at a higher power. I always liked those two words together. They say progress. Promotion. Peace. Answers.
And I think we’re all looking for answers. Why are we here? Who are we? What are we meant to do?
What I appreciated most from my Catholic upbringing was the community. The same faces every Sunday. The ritual. The routine. The habit of it.
Since then, I’ve diverged. Refined it. And now I wake up and I pray, I meditate, and I journal. In that act of three, at some point, I feel connected.
As a kid, I spoke to God from a place of need. Please help me achieve this. Please help me understand this. That’s fine. But let’s be honest. It’s one sided.
The conversations I have with my higher power now are different. I can hear a voice. I can feel a presence. And I arrive at answers. And it always makes me feel peaceful when I’m done.
Praying is just a conversation with your higher power. And ultimately, yourself. Because if there’s anything that Jesus and all the omnipotent figures we follow taught us, it’s that there is God in us as well.
I was twelve years old, sitting on a bus to summer camp. Far from my hometown. No friends. And at that age, making friends was difficult for me.
I remember turning to my higher power and saying, “I just want five close friends here. People who love and understand me. People I could be friends with forever.”
That summer, I met five children. Five. And I know them still, to this day. And one of them. Believe it or not. Is the mother of my child. My son. My absolute best friend in the entire universe.
My higher power didn’t just answer that call. He had a plan.
Who would have thought that going to that summer camp when I was twelve years old would not just give me the five friends that I made that summer, but the one human on this planet that would give me purpose and ultimately the life of my dreams.
Now, there might be words in this. God, religion, spirituality. That feel foreign to you. Something you’ve stepped back from. And that’s fine.
But what I ask you to consider is a higher power.
Here at Gents Journey, we’re trying to create powerful men and inspire powerful shifts in our collective narrative. We started this to help people connect, feel less alone and grow.
And that act actually starts with you and your higher power.
Because once you realize there is a higher power. Once you realize you’re not alone. Everything changes.
— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
👊 THE MOVES
Media for men.
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The Signal in the Sky
There’s an old saying, "When you make plans, God laughs."
It’s a reminder of how little control we have, but also shines a light on the moments of serendipity that present themselves when you least expect them.
In my opinion, there is no such thing as a coincidence. It’s divine intervention.
When was the last time that happened to you?
For Example: Shortly after my mom passed, my daughter and I were searching for shooting stars, and no less than 5 seconds later, one flashed across the night sky.
Watch: Two Things to Worry About
Mike Goodwin takes it a step deeper, as you can’t control God’s plan, so worrying about it is wasted energy.
You basically have 2 options in your life, worry about it, or let your spiritual guide take you where you will be.
When you worry, 2 things happen.
You stop living in the present moment and resort to patterned responses.
You cease trusting in God, Buddha, the Universe or whatever you believe in.
Worry unfolds into smaller worries, all the way down — proof you were never fully in control of any of it to begin with.
The Weight We Carry
As a high-performing man, you have countless roles and responsibilities.
Father — protecting and providing for your family.
Husband or spouse — showing up unconditionally.
Friend — to the people who have known you since childhood and beyond.
But at the core of who you are is your purpose and your moral compass.
Each day brings problems, but when you let your spiritual path unfold, instead of seeking to force and act with expectations, your life gets a lot easier.
Think about your life and make a list of where you carry your most weight.
Marriage. Fatherhood. Business. Health. Money. Sleep. Legacy.
Grab a paper or jot notes in your phone, and it might read heavier than you expected, even though most of it weighs about the same.
We've been trained to treat an overburdened life like a badge of honor.
Too often we hear our friends say, “I’ve been busy,” as if it were something we actually wanted when it’s actually a metaphor for not letting go. It’s chasing our ego’s desire for power, status, and money, instead of allowing our creator’s compass to guide us.
But the weight isn't proof you're doing life right. It's usually proof you're gripping something you were never meant to carry alone.
I’d like to invite you to let go of the weight, put down the baggage and give it to God.
Your True North
One July 4th, my mother was sick, and I needed to get to her for our family reunion in upstate New York. I knew it might be our last one. Our flight got delayed, and then there were no flights left at all.
We tried renting a car — it would have taken two days. We sat in the Atlanta airport with no options, and we never made it. She passed away the following year, just days after Independence Day.
I spent a long time asking why that flight, why that year.
What I've since come to believe is that when you're carrying too much weight, you simply need to let go, and a sign will show up — flashes in the dark, like a light blinking through the woods when you're lost.
Serendipity shows up when you need it most.
A reminder that the present moment, heavy as it feels in that instant, is unfolding exactly how it's supposed to.
The next time you get a flat tire, your phone breaks, or you hurt yourself — remember:
Worry multiplies on its own — you don't have to help it along.
The weight you're carrying probably was never meant to be carried alone.
What feels like coincidence is a signal, or a teaching moment — don’t miss it.
What's a "coincidence" you've had recently that, looking back, might have actually been a signal? Comment below.
No matter where you are, when times get tough, stay the course and have faith that life is happening for you, not to you.
— Stephen Seidel
Co-founder, Gents Journey
Book Summary:
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
by Dean Bokhari | Co-Founder, Gents Journey
About
After watching Gladiator II recently, I felt a natural pull to revisit my old copy of Meditations - a series of writings on Stoic philosophy by the former Emperor of Rome, Marcus Aurelius.
Fun fact for ya: Aurelius actually never even intended on publishing any of the writings from Meditations—because he was actually writing them as notes to himself.
In other words: reading Meditations is like reading a very powerful man’s personal journal.
The book was first printed in 1559, nearly 14 centuries after Aurelius died. He started writing these notes to himself around 170 CE, and continued writing until around the time of his death, which was on March 17, 180 CE. Which means the original hand-written manuscript survived for 1,400 years before finally being printed and published for everyone to read.
But what boggles my mind most about Meditations is this: the ideas inside the book are about 1,900 years old, yet they’re just as applicable in the modern world we live in today as they were way back then.
Inside, Marcus Aurelius riffs on a wide range of ideas about life, leadership, and personal growth. He shares his thoughts on spirituality, finding focus, life fulfillment, integrity, love, leading a purpose-driven life, and tons of other knowledge bombs pulled from the Stoic way of life.
Let’s get into it.
SUMMARY IN A SENTENCE
Don’t get caught up in trivial matters, let go of pettiness, hold yourself accountable, and appreciate your life within a larger context.
CRUCIAL QUOTES
“You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” — Marcus Aurelius
“The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts.” — Marcus Aurelius
“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” — Marcus Aurelius
BIG IDEAS
Choose Not to Be Harmed
Abide by The Law of The Universe
Everything Has a Purpose
Seek Synergy
Focus
Don’t Lose Perspective
See The World as it Really is
Closing Notes
Top Quotes From ‘Meditations’ By Marcus Aurelius
1. Choose not to be harmed
“Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus was emperor of Rome from 161AD until his death 19 years later. By the time he came to power, Rome was under threat: constantly at war, plagued with disease, and to make matters worse, they had to deal with earthquakes, too.
As leader of Rome, Aurelius remained calm and conscientious throughout each of these challenges—helping his people persevere.
Try to imagine the leader of any of today’s developed countries being so calm and philosophical in the midst of such crises. For these reasons, Marcus Aurelius was adored by the Romans even after his death—leaving a lasting legacy that framed him as the perfect emperor.
He wasn’t perfect of course, but who is?
Near the end of his reign, Aurelius was hailed as a genuine philosopher-king who provided the last real nobility of rule—until his corrupt son Commodus took over the throne and F’d it all up.
As a student of Stoic philosophy, Marcus Aurelius also refused to be made miserable by the difficulties of life:
“Begin each day by telling yourself: Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness – all of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil. But for my part I have long perceived the nature of good and its nobility, the nature of evil and its meanness, and also the nature of the culprit himself, who is my brother (not in the physical sense, but as a fellow creature similarly endowed with reason and a share of the divine); therefore none of those things can injure me, for nobody can implicate me in what is degrading. Neither can I be angry with my brother or fall foul of him; for he and I were born to work together, like a man’s two hands, feet or eyelids, or the upper and lower rows of his teeth. To obstruct each other is against Nature’s law – and what is irritation or aversion but a form of obstruction.”
2. Abide by the law of the universe
Stoicism is a Greek school of thought that originates from around about 300 BCE.
The essence of the Stoic philosophy is that we should submit to the law of the universe in order to live well.