Welcome to issue #41 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.
New issues every week. Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — Dean Bokhari, Stephen Seidel, and Matt McManus.
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📝 THE MESSAGE
A timely piece from the gents.
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How to find your purpose
by Dean Bokhari
1. Map out your GPS (Greatness + Passions + Service).
When I first started trying to figure out how to find and do purposeful, meaningful work, I was confused just like everyone else.
Eventually though, that confusion made way for a very simple framework that I call The GPS Formula:
The ‘G’ represents what you’re Great at.
The ‘P’ represents what you’re Passionate about.
The ’S’ represents how you can provide a Service by combining both G+P.
The overlapping of the three (GPS) is your sweet spot for purposeful work.
Let’s dive into the details of each individual portion of The GPS Formula so that you can discover a combination that’s the right fit for you.
2. What are you GREAT at?
What are you great it? Seems like a pretty simple question, right? The unfortunate truth of the matter is, that most people have absolutely no idea how to answer it. Even worse, most people—either by choice or by force—focus on trying to improve their weaknesses rather than cultivate strengths.
It should be the opposite.
If you run a business, wouldn’t it be advantageous to focus on what you do well, and hire people to do the rest?
If you work for a company, wouldn’t it be better to step into a role that’s suited to your skillset?
And if you’re a leader, wouldn’t the entire organization thrive if each of your employees were doing what they’re best at?
Here’s how to figure out what you’re great at:
Make a list. Write down every single thing you’re skilled at. When you’re done with your list, you’ll feel good about the fact that you’ve actually got something positive to look at on paper.
Next, organize that list based on what you believe you’re best at from the skills and qualities you’ve written down about yourself. Take your time with this.
3. What are you PASSIONATE about?
People get way too caught up in trying to “find their passion”. But passion isn’t something you “find.” It’s something you cultivate.
Right now, my wife and I are helping our five year old son, Rumi, figure out his athletic passion. We’re working on helping him identify which sport he really wants to put his energy behind.
So, we’re letting him try a bunch of stuff: soccer, climbing, parkour, American football, karate, boxing, and kickboxing.
After a few months, we’ll naturally know what he loves most. And once we’ve figured that out, we’ll cultivate that passion into something he can really excel at.
(I’m hoping he’ll take to boxing, because he’s get a heck of a punch.)
Passion is a result. We bring it about by taking action - by trying a bunch of things until we find what “hits.”
You might already know what you love to do.
But if you don’t, here’s how to figure it out:
Make a list. Write down every single thing you truly love to do.
If you don’t know or haven’t ever given this any thought, create a list of things you think you’d love to do… And then try those things to see if it’s a fit.
Lastly, ask yourself this crucial question: “Do I love it enough to struggle with it?”
You might love the idea of managing a team, but do you love it enough to struggle until you can lead others effectively?
You might love the idea of becoming an entrepreneur, but do you love it enough to endure the struggle of uncertainty that comes with running a business?
You might love playing guitar, but do you love it enough to struggle until you’re great at it?
4. What’s your highest point of SERVICE?
Your highest point of service (or contribution) is where what you’re great at (G) intersects with you’re passionate about (P) in a way that allows you to serve (S) other people.
This is where you focus on the “S” part of The GPS Formula — the part that requires you to produce value for other people (your employer, or your customers) so that you can actually make a living doing something you find meaningful.
Here’s how to figure out your highest point of service:
Make a list of the things you’re great at (G)
Cross reference it with what you’re passionate about (P)
Lastly, figure out the best combination of G + P which will allow you to serve (S) and make a living doing it.
— Dean Bokhari
Co-founder, Gents Journey
📰 THE MOMENT
Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
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This Week’s AI Prompt: Finding Purpose
Purpose is a buzzword in self-help right now. You hear it everywhere. But underneath the hype, it’s still a real question, and we do have to understand ours. Not so we can have a perfect answer, but so we can move through the world responsibly, with our values attached to whatever we’re doing.
A lot of people treat purpose as a synonym for passion, or for their career. Sometimes those line up. Sometimes they don’t. As an artist, I spent a lot of years finding purpose in between the gigs, and I slowly realized my purpose and my skill set aren’t always the same thing. Sometimes they are. Not all the time.
So this week, we’re not asking whether you’re lost. We’re asking something more specific: Is the purpose you felt when you were younger still showing up in your daily actions, your habits, your thoughts, and your practices?
THE PROMPT:
Copy everything below and paste it into ChatGPT or Claude:
I want to check whether the purpose I felt when I was younger is still showing up in my daily life. Not whether I'm lost. Whether my days reflect what mattered to me back then.
Help me:
1. Remember the younger version of me
- What did I care about before I got busy with work, bills, and life?
- What did I want to be, do, or build when I was young?
- What did I feel most alive doing as a kid or teenager?
- Who did I admire, and what did they stand for?
2. Separate purpose from passion and career
- Which of those things was my purpose, and which was just a job or a hobby?
- Where did my skills and my purpose overlap? Where did they split?
- What values sit underneath the thing I wanted?
3. Audit my daily actions
- How do I spend a typical week? (Work, family, creative time, rest, screens)
- Which of my habits move me toward what I cared about as a kid?
- Which habits pull me away from it?
- Where do my thoughts go when I'm not thinking about anything in particular?
4. Find the gap
- What part of that younger purpose is still alive in me?
- What part have I quietly let go of, and do I want it back?
- What's one place where my daily life already reflects it?
5. Make one move this week
- What's one small action that brings the younger purpose into today?
- When will I do it?
- How will I know it's working?
Here's what I wanted when I was younger: [Describe it]
Here's what my typical week looks like: [Be honest]
Here's what I think is pulling me away: [Name it]
Be honest with me. Don't tell me I'm on track if I'm not, and don't assume I'm lost. Help me see the gap and close it.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
The AI is going to help you line up the purpose you had as a kid with what your days actually look like. You’ll walk away with a clear sense of what’s still alive, what’s been quietly dropped, and one move to make this week.
WHY THIS MATTERS
Purpose isn’t a title or a career. It’s a direction, and it shows up in small daily choices. When your habits and thoughts point the same way the younger you was pointing, life feels steadier. When they don’t, you feel it before you can name it.
Run the prompt. Look at the gap. Make one move.
Drop one thing from your younger self that still matters to you. Let’s see what’s still showing up.
— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
👊 THE MOVES
Media for men.
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Be the Hero of Your Story
The Philadelphia Eagles are one of the worst teams in the NFL right now, but I’m ride or die anyway, and here’s why.
My stepdad Tom introduced me to Eagles games at Vet Stadium and at home in front of the TV. Every game had its ritual: a Diet Pepsi and a bag of Fritos.
When Tom died, I boarded a plane to his funeral with a heavy heart. Halfway down the aisle, I looked up and saw my childhood hero, former Eagles wide receiver Fred Barnett, sitting in the back row.
I felt like Tom was letting me know he was always with me.
Now I buy Fritos every time I watch the Birds. It’s still our ritual.
I also have an Eagles tattoo on my arm with his initials and my father’s. They both loved the Eagles, and both remain with me even though they’ve passed.
That’s my story in one moment. I share because it might help you find yours.
One of our purposes in life is to share our story.
When we do, our vulnerabilities become our superpower.
Every one of us is carrying baggage. Sharing it is how we lighten the load for ourselves and others.
The world shifted after COVID.
We’re still paying for the time we spent isolated, as the cost wasn’t only financial, but social, too. It changed how we treat each other.
When you share your story, others can see a path forward. Then they share theirs, and it keeps going.
Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning shows us that even in the worst suffering, we can find meaning and pass it on to others.
It Starts in a Moment
It all starts with a moment of connection. That’s when we feel safe enough to open up.
It can come from the simplest questions.
What’s your favorite sandwich?
Are you named after anyone?
When did you last cry?
When you lock eyes, you connect, you trust, and you open yourself up to give and receive.
Connection pulls you into the present, while worry does the opposite.
Your mind jumps moments, hours, or even days ahead, and attaches a story to something that’s never even happened yet.
Try this reset. It’s called the 2 Room Rule:
Room one is action. Things you can do right now.
Room two is outcome. The results and reactions you can’t control. They don’t exist yet. This is where suffering lives.
Live ONLY in room one. Close the door to room two.
Action cures anxiety, while contemplating the unknown keeps you stagnant.
Choose curiosity over judgment. Ask questions, and find common ground.
Find Meaning in a Moment
The Eagles and my bond with my two fathers aren’t my whole story. They’re a doorway into my calling, community, and creativity, where my purpose lives.
How you do anything is how you do everything.
Break your life down into key moments, and you’ll find your true meaning too.
When we give ourselves moments of silence to truly go inward and listen, we open ourselves up to the gifts within.
Purpose rarely shows up out of nowhere. However, when you meditate, the extra baggage, stories, and narratives slowly fall away. That reveals your truest self and lets you stand up and take a step toward your purpose.
Once you know what you’re not, you’re much closer to knowing who you really are.
What moment holds your story?
Comment below and share it.
— Stephen Seidel
Co-founder, Gents Journey
🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS
Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.
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Get Your Free AI Brand Audit from Stephen Seidel
Until next week,
—The Gents
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