Welcome to issue #40 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.
New issues every week. Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — Dean Bokhari, Stephen Seidel, and Matt McManus.
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📝 THE MESSAGE
A timely piece from the gents.
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10 life lessons every dad should teach his kids
by Dean Bokhari
This week’s issue of The Gents Weekly is about the skills every man should have in his arsenal… From how to filet a fish to how to tie a windsor knot, we’re covering a handful of things every man should know how to do.
Let’s kick it off with some dad vibes.
Awhile back, I created a list of the 10 most important life lessons I’m teaching my children. Today, I’m cracking open my journaling and sharing them with you.
Let’s dive in.
Always tell the truth no matter what. Honesty is the foundation of trust, and trust is the foundation for everything else your children want to succeed with in life.
Take responsibility for your actions. Teach your children about taking accountability for what they do - both good and bad. No blaming. No excuses. If they make a mistake, don’t yell at them like they owe you money. That won’t teach them anything other than to be afraid of you. Show them how to do it properly.
Treat people with respect. Including yourself. With children, a lot more is caught than taught… Which means: if you want to teach them respect, for example, the best way to do it is to model it yourself. Respect their mother. Respect the waiter. Respect everyone unless they give you a reason not to.
Work hard—even when no one else is watching. Putting in your best effort builds confidence and self-respect. This is a tough one, so let me share a quick tip on how to pass this life lesson along to your kid(s): First, don’t make it feel like a rule they have to obey. Connect it to something they’re already into. For example: “If you use a cheat code to skip all the hard levels in a game while nobody is looking, you might ‘win’ on paper. But when you play against your friends, you’ll get crushed because you didn’t actually build the skills. Working hard alone is how you actually level up.”
Keep your word no matter what. Integrity is a superpower, and it’s something a lot folks seem to have forgotten about. Hammer this into your kids’ heads until you see them internalize it: if you say you’re going to do something, DO IT.
Choose your friends wisely. Teach your kids about the law of averages. Your circle becomes your future and you become like the company you keep. So teach them to surround themselves with the right people - winners, achievers, and positive influences. You should know your kids’ friends’ parents as well.
Protect your mind + body. Teach them to eat well and move often. Or, as Jim Rohn put it, “Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.”
How to handle discomfort. Every evening for the last three months, I’ve been making my five-year old son do pull-ups. I lift him up to the bar and give him a light push on the bum to help him get his reps in. The first time we did this, he cried. I set a goal for him to do one rep. But he couldn’t handle the discomfort. For weeks after that, getting him to the pull-up bar felt like pulling teeth. Fast forward three months, and he’s embraced it and looks forward to it. In fact, he even ASKED if he could up his goal from one pull-up, to three. Teach them your children how to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Be kind, but never weak. Kindness is strength, weakness is avoidance. Teach them the difference as early as you can.
Always do the right thing, even when it costs you. Because that’s what builds character.
— Dean Bokhari
Co-founder, Gents Journey
📰 THE MOMENT
Sh*t that’s happening now, ICYMI
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Skills for Every Man
What two fathers taught me, and what I still use every week
Skills for every man. What does a man have at his disposal that makes his life easier, that are specific to manhood?
I had two different fathers. My parents split up when I was about 14, and I didn’t realize everything my dad had taught me until after that. For four or five years of my teenage years, my dad and I were at odds. Then a new man came into my life. My stepfather.
When his Camaro first pulled into my driveway, he stepped out in cowboy boots, a silk button-down, slicked-back hair, and a beard. Looking back, he was probably the coolest guy anywhere he went. But back then, I thought he was the opposite of what a man was supposed to be. My father was a golf-playing, cigar-smoking, penny-loafer-wearing Wall Street businessman. This man ran a bunch of mechanic shops in New York City. His name was Harley Miller.
We didn’t get along so badly at first. I remember spraying him with a hose in the backyard, and he chased me around. My three siblings and I tortured this guy. God rest his soul, and God bless him for putting up with us.
But Harley taught me things I still use. He taught me how to fold my clothes. How to cook a bunch of different meals, not just for me, but for a woman I loved. How to shave. How to tie a tie. How to iron. And he was the first man to comfort me after my first love and I split up. He hugged me and told me everything was going to be all right.
I iron every week. I fold my clothes every week. I cook for myself or for someone else every week. I’ll carry what Harley gave me for the rest of my days, and I never really got the chance to thank him. So thank you, Harley. You made me a better kid, and then a better man.
My father was a poster child for the eighties and nineties. Wall Street. Commuting from Long Island into the city every day. A big house, two cars, a boat, all the trimmings. He worked his tail off, and he wasn’t home much.
But he didn’t want to be a Wall Street banker. He went to school to teach woodshop. If I look around my house right now, there are things he whittled by hand, my name carved into a wooden block. He once built me a go-kart, all wood, that I could push or that he could push. How much time did he spend using his hands to show his son he loved him? As a kid, I didn’t appreciate it. I didn’t understand the elbow grease that went into it.
He also taught me how to walk into a room and command attention. How to make people feel comfortable and calm. How to be friendly, how to be funny, how to have charm and grace. And the concept of tact.
My son now has a stepfather who is the opposite of me. Doug is calm no matter the circumstance, and stern when he needs to be. I’m the silly father. I can be stern, but I try to teach my son empathy and compassion. Doug does those things too. He’s a steady force of reason. I’m a perpetual teenager trying to hold on to that youthful approach to everything while living the adulthood I dreamed of. I’m a father, and I’m an artist in the city I dreamed of living in my whole life, raising a son in a place that isn’t altogether easy, but isn’t altogether hard.
That’s what this week is about. The everyday skills that make a man’s life work. Tying a tie. Shaving. Ironing a shirt. Whittling a block of wood. Building something with your own hands. Some of those skills came from a stepfather who taught me how to take care of myself. Some came from a father who taught me how to carry myself. Most men get some of each, if they’re lucky.
At Gents Journey, we built this platform with our hearts. This week’s newsletter is one we’re proud of, and we hope it helps you pick up something you can use this week.
Thank you, Harley. And thank you for reading.
— Matt McManus
Co-founder, Gents Journey
👊 THE MOVES
Media for men.
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Growing up, we learned by watching, listening, and doing.
Sometimes little boys don’t get the time (and skills) they need to become a man, whether that’s from divorces, incarceration, or other outside influences, and I was one of them.
Who Taught You?
When I was a year old, my parents divorced, and I rarely saw my father, except on weekends when we spent most of our time at my Little League games or watching sports.
I was raised primarily by my mother and stepdad, Tom. He was known for having a proverbial tool belt, with one item in it: a phone.
Anytime something broke, he called someone.
Needless to say, when I was a father myself and we moved into our first house, my wife asked, “Did your dad or stepdad teach you how to fix things growing up?”
Sometimes, yes. Most times, no.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I was never neglected or mistreated. I just missed out on many of the most commonly taught skills, while shuffling between houses.
However, one skill I did learn was tying a tie, as both my dads wore suits.
Watch: How to Tie a Windsor Knot
Gone Fishing
As a kid, I think I can count on one hand the number of times I went fishing.
It wasn’t until this past Father’s Day that I decided it was time to break the cycle.
I took my wife and two daughters fishing. We went to Walmart and bought rods, bobbers, and hooks, and had a blast. We caught 10 fish total.
Since it was my first time fishing on my own, I had some difficulty handling the spiny rays on their fins. We threw them back, as I couldn’t even imagine eating them.
As a big fan of “Survivor” and “Alone,” I’ve watched contestants fillet fish, with their lives literally depending on it.
One day I will catch a nice big bass and fillet it myself …
Until then, I’ve been watching this video below, and maybe it’ll help you.
Will AI Raise Our Kids?
As a Xennial, I’ve been fortunate to see the world change in ways I never imagined.
We’ve gone from landlines to Back to the Future-style video calls and beyond.
Growing up, we had encyclopedias. Then came the internet, and then YouTube arrived on the scene with the explosion of video.
Fun Fact: Gents Journey Co-founder, Matt McManus, and I were part of YouTube's first live comedy stream about 15 years ago.
YouTube has become the go-to for visual learning, with others skipping the teachers and classrooms altogether.
AI is now helping too, as ChatGPT, Claude, Grok, and other LLMs can help you solve pretty much anything. Gents Weekly highlights a new prompt each week, as we’ve seen firsthand the impact it can make when followed properly.
AI, when used as an educational tool or personal assistant, drastically reduces learning curves. It gets us answers faster, yet removes the overall experience and the joy of learning a new skill.
For me personally, trying something and failing, or learning through trial and error, is where the fun (and manly stuff) really lives.
Practice makes progress.
As a Dad, I take great pride in teaching my daughters everything I’ve learned, as well as preparing for a future without me, by sharing what wisdom I have.
This rise in technology might lead to fewer teaching moments with Dad, and a lack of both understanding and skills in our next generation on many levels.
What do you think?
Let us know in the comments: one manly skill you take pride in learning firsthand and one skill you’re using AI or YouTube to teach yourself.
Thanks for showing up. You and your guidance truly matter in our world.
— Stephen Seidel
Co-founder, Gents Journey
🔗 MEANINGFUL MENTIONS + MAGIC LINKS
Fun stuff you’ll dig about our theme of the week.
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Get Your Free AI Brand Audit from Stephen Seidel
Until next week,
—The Gents
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