Gents Weekly: Watch Your Language
Issue #21: The manliest newsletter on the internet • June 8, 2026
Welcome to issue #21 of The Gents Weekly, a newsletter for the modern man.
Every Monday, you’ll receive a weekly roundup of inspiring ideas + products to help you become a better man.
Brought to you by the men of Gents Journey — Dean Bokhari, Stephen Seidel, and Matt McManus.
📝 THE MESSAGE
A timely piece from the gents.
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Develop the vocabulary of a big thinker
by Dean Bokhari
For today’s column, I’m repurposing an installment of a recent challenge I put on for my personal development publication on Substack, which is called, Club 12. This one’s all about how the words you use can shape your brain—for better or for worse. Enjoy. (Note: If you’d like to see the video version of this article, you can check it out here.)
What would happen if I took a small needle and casually tossed it in your direction? It would bounce off your chest and fall to the floor and you probably wouldn’t feel a thing.
Now, what would happen if I took that same needle, positioned it over your heart, and nailed it against your chest with a hammer?
That needle would pierce right through your chest.
That’s what words can do when you wield them with intention, with emotion, and with purpose.
The words you use can shape your mental strength.
“Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?” — Jalāl al-Dīn Muḥammad Rumi
I’d add one more “gate” to that Rumi quote above: Is it helpful?
Choose your words wisely.
Because the words you use on a consistent basis can quite literally change the shape your brain1 — either strengthening your mentality, or making it weaker.
They way you wield your words can also have an influence on your happiness, your relationships, and your finances—or lack thereof.
If you want to develop a strong, success-oriented mindset, it’s worth it to be mindful of the language you’re using — both in your head as well as in your conversations.
People who’ve conditioned themselves to become mentally strong speak an entirely different language than the majority of people do…
They use optimistic, growth-focused language with possibility-driven words.
Bottom line:
Small thinkers use language that shrink situations.
Big thinkers use language that expand possibilities.
You and I don’t think in words, we think in visuals, in pictures and images…
For example:
If I say, “Rumi’s new house is beautiful,” it would paint one picture in your mind.
If I say, “Rumi’s new house looks like a beachfront resort,” it would paint a completely different picture.
The visuals we see are modified by the words we use to describe things.
Your mind is a canvas. Your mouth is the paintbrush. Your words are the paint.
Be mindful of the colors you choose, so you can paint something magnificent.
Here are some phrases that create negative mental visuals vs phrases that create positive mental visuals:
