The Connect Couple's Communication Course, Part 2/3

Part 2 of the 3 part training program designed to help you + your wife transform conflict into connection.

Welcome back to the Connect Couple’s Communication Course!

Here’s what we’ve covered so far:

Part I. Understanding One Another

1. Clarify Values

2. Define Your Marriage

3. Know Your Partner’s Communication Style

4. Know Your Partner’s Love Language

Now, here’s what we’re covering in Part II…

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Part II.
Preventing Minor Conflicts From Turning into Major Fights

Communication is the most important element of a happy and healthy relationship. Sometimes, all it takes is one little comment, and all of a sudden, you and your partner are in a heated battle. Often times, it’s not because of that annoying comment, it’s because of something deeper.

In Part II, you’ll learn four key principles for keeping small conflicts from getting out of control. Each lesson covers one of the following four principles:

1. Be Aware of the Animal Brain

2. Diffuse and Alleviate

3. Compassionate Communication or No Communication

4. It Takes FIVE Positives To Eliminate ONE Negative

Ready to dive in?

Let’s get into it…

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Lesson 5.
Be Aware of the Animal Brain

Regardless of how smart we humans think we are, at the end of the day, we’re still animals. We’re just animals that have figured out how to remove ourselves from nature…

But just because we’re capable of planning ahead, or designing computer chips, doesn’t mean that the very core of our brains aren’t still having an impact on our lives.

What I’m talking about is your “animal brain”.

The animal brain is the part of you that says irrational things when you get mad. It’s the part of your brain that overrides your smarter, more rational self, and instead leaves you saying things that you end up regretting in retrospect.

This is why, whenever my wife realizes she may have said something that triggered my animal brain, she knows I probably don’t really mean whatever nasty things I end up saying shortly thereafter.

And because she knows that, she gracefully backs away for the time being, until the calmer, cooler version of me comes back to reality.

And I do the same for her.

Exercise

• Be aware of the animal brain.

• Make an agreement with your partner that you’ll both practice patience and grace with one another when you notice that their animal brain has been activated.

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Lesson 6.
Diffuse + Alleviate

When emotions run high—and you know they can from time to time—you need to diffuse and alleviate!

For example, if my wife is feeling super-stressed about something, and then takes it all out on me for no good reason, it’s probably not a good idea for me to start firing back in defense.

Probably better that I realize she’s totally stressed right now, and it’s got nothing to do with me.

And the best thing I can do as a husband right now, isn’t to argue or try to fix it, but rather, try to alleviate the situation by listening to her tell me ALLLL about it. 🤣

This ongoing commitment has proven crucial towards maintaining a healthy, happy relationship between the both of us…

And it can do the same for you.